Roommate issues
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Anonymous
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I'm going to tread very carefully here because I know this will probably be a touchy topic. And I promise, this is legitimate. I'm not trying to stir up trouble or be trollish.
So far, my daughter is loving college. Lots of new friends, doing well in classes, and so on. The only "issue" she's having is her lesbian roommate brings her partner into the room very often and the two of them are very intimate even when my daughter is there. For the record, DD is very supportive of homosexual relationships, and I don't get the sense that's the issue - just the intimacy in front of her that she's not a huge fan of. She would probably be similarly uncomfortable if this were a heterosexual relationship, but she's never really experienced this before. Any thoughts? I don't want to be helicoptery over this, but she asked what I thiught and I'm not sure what I should tell her. |
Anonymous
| Boy or girl, the dorms have rules about overnight guests. |
Anonymous
Dad says it's not happening overnight. |
Anonymous
DD* |
Anonymous
| Yes, my thought is she would be just as uncomfortable if her roommate was bringing over a guy. BTDT and it just sucks. |
Anonymous
| Have DD talk to roommate about this first and then if there's no change, she should talk to the RA. |
Anonymous
| She should talk to her RA and see if they can all sit down and make some ground rules for PDA time. |
Anonymous
| Too bad they didn't lay down some ground rules from the start. That way they could have changed roommates if needed. My DD feels the same and is concerned of the same. She's no prude but feels some things don't need to be shared. Nor is she using a co-ed bathroom. That's her choice and coming out of a dorm shower with males in the mirror shaving is out. |
Anonymous
| This is a topic that college roommates have been dealing with for a long time. She needs to talk to her roomie and they can figure out what will work for them (a sign on the door when the couple needs some "alone time", limits on visits or just letting each other know when they don't want to be interrupted (for any reason) The sex of the SO does not really matter. The next step would be the RA if they can't work it out themselves. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
| I gotta wonder about someone who doesn't seem to mind having sex while their roommate they share a room with is there. Weird! |
Anonymous
This. And lay down some ground rules. If fails, talk to RA. |
Anonymous
?? I graduated from college 20 years ago and there were no restrictions on overnight guests.... |
Anonymous
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The issue of the roommate being gay or straight ultimately doesn't matter. However, I can appreciate that your DD may be concerned that any discussion of it may make her roommate and her girlfriend feel as though she is judging them. My advice to her would be to talk to her roommate in a friendly and even humorous way. She needs to let the roommate know that she's not judging, but that she just doesn't want to have to watch them being intimate. That's not too much to ask and the roommate should be respectful.
Your DD needs to try and work this out with her roommate on her own first before going to the RA. That is the respectful thing to do on your DD's part for her roommate. She doesn't want to blindside the roommate. However, if the roommate refuses to change her ways and is antagonistic then she should then talk with the RA. |
Anonymous
| Work it out. The roommate deserves some reasonable amount of alone time, but it has to be planned and agreed on in advance. |