Roommate issues

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of my DC's is class of '17. If they desire a single, and if it's available for freshman, I will gladly pay extra to provide privacy. Privacy can just mean quiet time to study without any distraction. Even when our house is quiet, DC likes to go to their room, shut the door, and study.

I have told DC that you can open your door and invite 10 people into your dorm room with a private. But when it's time to go, it's time to go and no argument with a roomie who wants people to stay. You don't have to go home but you've got to get out of here.

This past summer, DC attended a summer college program for six weeks and had a roommate. DC felt that while it was a great experience and the roommate was nice, if the opportunity presents itself for a private room, that will be the first choice.

Unfortunately, most college campus still have the one-room, box style, cramped dorm rooms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Unfortunately, most college campus still have the one-room, box style, cramped dorm rooms.

Maybe if we bump tuition up another $10K our little snowflakes can have the type of living quarters they deserve?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boy or girl, the dorms have rules about overnight guests.

No they don't. Except for a handful of extremely conservative religious schools, parietal regulations are largely gone.

My brother is currently in undergrad at a relatively large state school which is neither religiously affiliated nor conservative. They have regulations about overnight guests. Among the rules (I don't know all of them): roommate(s) have to agree to the visit, limits on how long the guest can stay (# of consecutive nights, not sure what the number is), limits on number of guests a student may have at once, have to sign the guest in at the front desk and both guest and host must have ID. These rules are far from gone.

Regardless of the gender of the observer or the couple, some things should be private and there are some things nobody wants to see. Someone else's intimacy with their romantic partner is one of those things for a lot of people, and both roommates should have the ability to feel comfortable in their own room. If something isn't working, the roommates need to come to an understanding that works for both parties. OP's DD should first talk to the roommate and if that doesn't work ask the RA for help having a discussion with roommate to set limits both can live with.

OK, rules about how many nights someone can stay is one thing. But I'd be surprised if most colleges had rules saying you couldn't have an overnight guest. Also, in this case, isn't the "guest" another student?

[Anonymous]

^^Doesnt matter if the 3rd party is a student or male/female or anything else, the 2 roommates have certain rights that are protected by housing rules. But you need to exercise your rights and still live with the roommate--that's where it gets hard and where outside help may be needed. RA is usually the first outside source for help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Unfortunately, most college campus still have the one-room, box style, cramped dorm rooms.

Maybe if we bump tuition up another $10K our little snowflakes can have the type of living quarters they deserve?

My kid isn't a snowflake; however, it appears yours is. You do your thing, I'll do mine.

[Anonymous]

This is such a common college roommate issue and has existed forever. If she can't handle this you haven't really equipped her very well for problem solving

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Unfortunately, most college campus still have the one-room, box style, cramped dorm rooms.

Maybe if we bump tuition up another $10K our little snowflakes can have the type of living quarters they deserve?

My kid isn't a snowflake; however, it appears yours is. You do your thing, I'll do mine.

I'm with PP. We're already paying $60k, and DC can live with the shoebox single. First world problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is such a common college roommate issue and has existed forever. If she can't handle this you haven't really equipped her very well for problem solving

Are you serious? Most people, young or old, aren't equipped to sleep two feet from somebody other than themselves having sex.

So the DC is the bad guy while the roommate comes off as the beacon of good manners. If I were DC, I would mention it ONE TIME. If it didn't resolve, than ask for another room. The RA will intervene but it won't change the roommate and will create bad feelings because the roommate will feel victimized, her rights trampled.

If she doesn't have enough respect for her roommate (obviously she has none for herself as she's having sex with an audience), then I say move on. It's not the DC who isn't equipped, it's the roommate and her disrespect. Jeez!

[Anonymous]

We're also paying $60k and I was disappointed as well at the crappy living conditions in the freshmen dorms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Unfortunately, most college campus still have the one-room, box style, cramped dorm rooms.

Maybe if we bump tuition up another $10K our little snowflakes can have the type of living quarters they deserve?

My kid isn't a snowflake; however, it appears yours is. You do your thing, I'll do mine.

I'm with PP. We're already paying $60k, and DC can live with the shoebox single. First world problem.

Why do you people always want to control what other people do with their money? Poster, if you want a single room, do it. No one here is contributing anything to your well-being. Forget 'em.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is such a common college roommate issue and has existed forever. If she can't handle this you haven't really equipped her very well for problem solving

Please slither back to Private Schools or OT. We try to keep it helpful here on the College Forum. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is such a common college roommate issue and has existed forever. If she can't handle this you haven't really equipped her very well for problem solving

Please slither back to Private Schools or OT. We try to keep it helpful here on the College Forum. Thanks.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're also paying $60k and I was disappointed as well at the crappy living conditions in the freshmen dorms.

Our MBR shower is bigger than the singles offered at DDs private college. It's a really great shower.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're also paying $60k and I was disappointed as well at the crappy living conditions in the freshmen dorms.

Our MBR shower is bigger than the singles offered at DDs private college. It's a really great shower.

Most people have at least one room in their house or apartment that's bigger than singles in college dorms. So, I guess you're just like the rest of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're also paying $60k and I was disappointed as well at the crappy living conditions in the freshmen dorms.

Our MBR shower is bigger than the singles offered at DDs private college. It's a really great shower.

Most people have at least one room in their house or apartment that's bigger than singles in college dorms. So, I guess you're just like the rest of us.

My point was intended more to the fact that the dorm rooms, IMO, are ridiculously small (at least for $60k). My apologies that what I wrote said more about my shower.