Practically 9 year old expressing wanting to be vegetarian but barely eats already- how to sway?

[Anonymous]

DD is an animal lover that barely hits the charts on height or weight.. very picky eater. she has decided she doesn't want to eat any meat- however, she also can only moderately tolerate maybe 4 vegetables and 4 fruits- and beans if only if in certain forms and once in a blue moon. I refuse to let her whither away even more during her growth years (brother is at 80% height- average weight). ANy tips/help???

[Anonymous]

What does she eat now? If she cuts out meat, how much will that decrease her food intake? If she is a "chicken nuggets and hot dogs" picky eater, it will make a big difference. If she is a" grilled cheese and pizza" picky eater, it might not matter as much. How much do you accomodate her limitations now and how much would that need to change if she cut out meat?

[Anonymous]

How is she with milk, cheese, yogurt, eggs, peanut butter, and almond butter?

[Anonymous]

I would make a list of foods she has to willingly and regularly eat before she is allowed to give up meat. So maybe make a list of 50 things (looks for sources of iron, protein, etc. that are tough for vegetarians), and have her try each thing at least 30 times or until she has chosen 20 things from the list that she will now eat. At that age I would explain to her the problem and make her in charge of figuring it out. She can't live of of fruit and veggies and carbs, and even eggs and dairy only go so far. If she's going to give up meat, she needs to add in a lot of other things.

[Anonymous]

nuts
tofu or TVP
milk
yogurt
cheese
hummus

Another possibility is tell her that the entire family will go meatless 2 days a week if she eats some meat on the other days. Tell her that she'd be doing good for animals.

I would try to strike a compromise. And then tell her that if she is serious, she has to be mindful of nutrition. Perhaps you could take her to a vegetarian nutritionist so that she sees that being a vegetarian isn't just about not eating meat; there's planning and commitment involved.

[Anonymous]

19:45 here again.

I will also say that protein isn't the biggest issue going vegetarian. Most vegetarians have no problem getting enough protein.

The biggest issue is getting enough B12. It's tricky, because even though eggs have it, they also have a factor that blocks absorption of it.

[Anonymous]

I became a vegetarian when I was 7, and have been for 28 years. I started because I found out meat was animals, and just stayed this way. My family started eating largely vegetarian meals so my mom didn't have to cook two meals. Reducing meat consumption is better for the environment anyways.

I like the idea of making a list of foods she agrees she'll eat. I ate lots of dairy, pasta, fruits, and veggies growing up. Some soy but not a ton--definitely disliked soy products made to "taste/look" like meat. (Eg tofu chicken nuggets).

[Anonymous]

One note of caution here. I am a former eating disorder/anorexic. Proclaiming oneself a vegetarian is a classic sign of disordered eating/further limitation on eating in a person who has disordered eating patterns. It's an excuse not to eat in public and around other people. "I can't eat that/order anything on the menu, I'm a vegetarian.

Now I'm not saying that at 9 your daughter has willfully chosen this path in order to manipulate, but I think you need to sit down with her and really formalize what she is going to eat, and how she plans to balance her proteins. I would even make a contract with her. "Larla will eat X, Y, and Z. She will pack A, B, or C for lunch and will read Books 1, 2, and 3 on a healthy vegetarian diet."

If she's not willing to eat foods beans, tofu, and balanced proteins that she needs to grow -- if this is just a mask for avoiding eating -- then I think you need to consider that she has an eating disorder or, at the very least, that she is simply opting out of eating meat in order to facilitate not eating.

[Anonymous]

I've got kids with eating (and other) challenges. Over the years, we've learned that we have engage in 'collaborative problem solving' where we can. It's not just easier, it's more effective. Food is one of those areas you have to tread carefully. If my DS declared his intention to become a vegetarian, I would talk to him about what that means to him (fish, eggs, milk? Vegan?) and what needed to happen for him to do it. I'd help him research nutrition and then get an appointment with a nutritionist so he could hear it from someone other than me (and Dr. Google) what/how much/when he should be eating. If she can't commit to eating the variety/quanity of foods needed for a healthy vegetarian lifestyle, it would be an indication to me that she's not serious about it. I don't know if you could get your DD into one but diabetes education classes are very effective at teaching the effects of food on your body. They include a meeting with a nutritionist who tells you how much from each food group you should eat and when. Follow up visits with the nutritionist were also included. If she wants to make this choice, it should be an informed one that encourages a healthy lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the disordered eating poster.

I think you should discuss her eating challenges with a pediatrician and ask for a referral to a specialist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:19:45 here again.

I will also say that protein isn't the biggest issue going vegetarian. Most vegetarians have no problem getting enough protein.

The biggest issue is getting enough B12. It's tricky, because even though eggs have it, they also have a factor that blocks absorption of it.

Probably a billion people in the world are vegetarians. It is not tricky to get enough B-12 on a vegetarian diet that includes milk and eggs. But if OP is really concerned, OP can buy vitamin-fortified cereal or tell OP's daughter that she must take a B-12 supplement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One note of caution here. I am a former eating disorder/anorexic. Proclaiming oneself a vegetarian is a classic sign of disordered eating/further limitation on eating in a person who has disordered eating patterns. It's an excuse not to eat in public and around other people. "I can't eat that/order anything on the menu, I'm a vegetarian.

Now I'm not saying that at 9 your daughter has willfully chosen this path in order to manipulate, but I think you need to sit down with her and really formalize what she is going to eat, and how she plans to balance her proteins. I would even make a contract with her. "Larla will eat X, Y, and Z. She will pack A, B, or C for lunch and will read Books 1, 2, and 3 on a healthy vegetarian diet."

If she's not willing to eat foods beans, tofu, and balanced proteins that she needs to grow -- if this is just a mask for avoiding eating -- then I think you need to consider that she has an eating disorder or, at the very least, that she is simply opting out of eating meat in order to facilitate not eating.

PP, the girl is 8. I know you mean well, but some people, kids included, just don't like to eat animals. The OP said nothing to indicate a body dysmorphia issue, concern with caloric intake, or any other suggestion of anorexia. She did, however, say her daughter loves animals. Why do you discount that and leap to pathology?

While I absolutely agree that she and her mother need information on how to eat a healthy vegetarian diet, I can't help but feel you are projecting something onto this girl that isn't there. In doing so, you're likely to increase the mother's anxiety and make it more difficult for her to understand and honor her daughter's request to become vegetarian. That seems unfortunate to me.

[Anonymous]

She said her daughter is underweight, picky and doesn't like fruits and vegetables. Eating is already a concern. PP, 99% of kids love animals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She said her daughter is underweight, picky and doesn't like fruits and vegetables. Eating is already a concern. PP, 99% of kids love animals.

That doesn't mean she has an incipient eating disorder, you realize. Do you know many 8 year olds? Very few let their love for animals keep them from eating meat. I'm not sure why DCUMs are so quick to pathologize so many behaviors.

[Anonymous]

I would say "yes" and use it as incentive to get her to eat better. If she wants to stay on a vegetarian diet, make it contingent on her eating a balanced diet with enough calories.

I would also get her some cookbooks and some books on vegetarianism appropriate to her age level. If she is very picky, she can help figure out what she wants to eat and help plan meals and help prepare meals. She might have more appreciation for the cook, if she doing some cooking herself.

If she is underweight, you could try pushing Ensure shakes or ice cream for snacks. It helps put calories in kids that are skinny.