Practically 9 year old expressing wanting to be vegetarian but barely eats already- how to sway?

[Anonymous]

Been vegetarian all my life (38 years). Raising my kid vegetarian. It helps that we are Indian and I know how to cook a wealth of recipes that include beans, lentils, vegetables and curries. I also give my kid a multi vitamin and take one myself. Being a vegetarian is easy - you just have to learn to cook some. And if my whole family could do it growing up in a small, rural, agricultural town in the 70s/80s, your kid could surely do it now in a urban, modern, society.

[Anonymous]

I don't think OP is anti-vegetarian and I don't think it's a question of selling her on vegetarian cooking. I don't sense any anti-vegetarian feeling per se in her post.

I think the point of her post is that she's concerned that her daughter will not eat a variety of foods in order to sustain growth. OP could cook fabulous vegetarian meals but if her daughter is not willing to try them or eat them, what is the point? Is the kid going to eat breakfast cereal for the next 10 years?

Chiming in that you are a vegetarian and have been so since childhood is great but perhaps you could add what foods you were willing to eat as a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think OP is anti-vegetarian and I don't think it's a question of selling her on vegetarian cooking. I don't sense any anti-vegetarian feeling per se in her post.

I think the point of her post is that she's concerned that her daughter will not eat a variety of foods in order to sustain growth. OP could cook fabulous vegetarian meals but if her daughter is not willing to try them or eat them, what is the point? Is the kid going to eat breakfast cereal for the next 10 years?

Chiming in that you are a vegetarian and have been so since childhood is great but perhaps you could add what foods you were willing to eat as a child.

No, not in OP's posts, but there is a strong feeling in other posts that vegetarian = eating disorder.

[Anonymous]

No, there is a suggestion -- a suggestion -- that a person who opts out of eating meat without adopting a healthy vegetarian menu and without a notion of how to balance proteins may have to be watching for signs of disordered eating. That is NOT the same thing as saying that vegetarianism = eating disorder.

[Anonymous]

OP, have you spoken with your pediatrician about your DD's weight and her growth curve generally? Is the pediatrician concerned?

Remember that a lot of adults eat meat in the belief that they will LOSE weight - that's the basis of paleo- and Atkins-type diets. Protein is essential, but meat is not the only way to get it. I still recommend starting with your pediatrician.

And if your DD is that tender hearted, lamb isn't a great dish to serve. The McCartneys often told the story of looking out at their lambs while eating lamb, and that was the start of their vegetarianism!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think OP is anti-vegetarian and I don't think it's a question of selling her on vegetarian cooking. I don't sense any anti-vegetarian feeling per se in her post.

I think the point of her post is that she's concerned that her daughter will not eat a variety of foods in order to sustain growth. OP could cook fabulous vegetarian meals but if her daughter is not willing to try them or eat them, what is the point? Is the kid going to eat breakfast cereal for the next 10 years?

Chiming in that you are a vegetarian and have been so since childhood is great but perhaps you could add what foods you were willing to eat as a child.

No, not in OP's posts, but there is a strong feeling in other posts that vegetarian = eating disorder.

I am a vegetarian. I have been a vegetarian for over 30 years. And I think OP's DD has disordered eating. I am clearly not reacting to the vegetarian part.

OP I think you need to get professional advice. The more you write the more I think there may be some OCD like issues creeping in (which are closely related to ED's). She refuses certain foods based on the site of them. She can't see tomatoes in her food. She'll eat spinach it if isn't so obvious. She cried over lamb but ate a burger and then refused chicken. I don't doubt that she loves animals passionately but that could bring another category of OCD.

As wonderful as a vegetarian diet is, many of think its just a bad idea to allow yet another restricted diet onto a child whose diet is already quite restricted and who is underweight as a result. PLus I suspect you cater to her diet eccentricities quite a bit because you just want her to eat something. OK, I'll just hide the tomatoes and maybe she'll eat. I'll stop cooking meat and maybe she'll eat. The problem with this kind of accommodation is that you lose site of how disordered she has become.

Even without the vegetarianism there's enough here for concern. Speak with your pediatrician.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, there is a suggestion -- a suggestion -- that a person who opts out of eating meat without adopting a healthy vegetarian menu and without a notion of how to balance proteins may have to be watching for signs of disordered eating. That is NOT the same thing as saying that vegetarianism = eating disorder.

There is no need to "balance proteins". That belief is long outdated.

And OP's daughter is 8. Few eight-year-olds adopt any menus -- that's typically up to their parents -- or understand much more about healthy eating than fruits and vegetables good, cake and candy bad. If OP's daughter does not want to eat animals, I do not think that OP should force OP's daughter to eat animals.

[Anonymous]

NP here - my 9 year old recently said the same thing and we agreed to try "meatles monday". It's not a perfect switch but there is a lot of good evidence that even one less day of meat is good for animals and environment and it's letting him try out being a vegetarian for a day a week. Interestingly, he seems fine now with one day and hasn't asked again to go totally vegetarian. We've been doing it for about two months and now the whole family is doing it. I would let him if he expanded his vegetable intake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, there is a suggestion -- a suggestion -- that a person who opts out of eating meat without adopting a healthy vegetarian menu and without a notion of how to balance proteins may have to be watching for signs of disordered eating. That is NOT the same thing as saying that vegetarianism = eating disorder.

There is no need to "balance proteins". That belief is long outdated.

And OP's daughter is 8. Few eight-year-olds adopt any menus -- that's typically up to their parents -- or understand much more about healthy eating than fruits and vegetables good, cake and candy bad. If OP's daughter does not want to eat animals, I do not think that OP should force OP's daughter to eat animals.

Is there a need to get protein in the diet? Or is that outdated too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, there is a suggestion -- a suggestion -- that a person who opts out of eating meat without adopting a healthy vegetarian menu and without a notion of how to balance proteins may have to be watching for signs of disordered eating. That is NOT the same thing as saying that vegetarianism = eating disorder.

There is no need to "balance proteins". That belief is long outdated.

And OP's daughter is 8. Few eight-year-olds adopt any menus -- that's typically up to their parents -- or understand much more about healthy eating than fruits and vegetables good, cake and candy bad. If OP's daughter does not want to eat animals, I do not think that OP should force OP's daughter to eat animals.

Is there a need to get protein in the diet? Or is that outdated too?

Yes, there is a need to get protein in the diet. But there are a lot of foods that provide protein, other than dead animals. I apologize for using "dead animals", but I'm trying to refer to everything, to avoid the "I don't meat, but I do eat chicken" confusion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Been vegetarian all my life (38 years). Raising my kid vegetarian. It helps that we are Indian and I know how to cook a wealth of recipes that include beans, lentils, vegetables and curries. I also give my kid a multi vitamin and take one myself. Being a vegetarian is easy - you just have to learn to cook some. And if my whole family could do it growing up in a small, rural, agricultural town in the 70s/80s, your kid could surely do it now in a urban, modern, society.

It really helps to be a vegetarian, if you eat beans and vegetables, though, right?

What would you say to a kid who eats no beans, no vegetables, few fruits, and no eggs. Do you think it is a good idea for them to also cut out meat in that case?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Yes, there is a need to get protein in the diet. But there are a lot of foods that provide protein, other than dead animals. I apologize for using "dead animals", but I'm trying to refer to everything, to avoid the "I don't meat, but I do eat chicken" confusion.

Please help me. My son has decided to be a strict vegetarian. He eats no eggs because they smell bad -- even a hint of egg makes him get sick.
Doesn't like beans or legumes of any kind, except one brand of black beans from a certain restaurant that is 45 minutes away from our house.
Will eat peanut butter. No other nuts or seeds.
Doesn't eat hummus.
Hates the taste of milk or cheese.
Refuses most vegetables.
Will eat some fruits.

Tell me how to get him his healthy vegetarian protein, please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Yes, there is a need to get protein in the diet. But there are a lot of foods that provide protein, other than dead animals. I apologize for using "dead animals", but I'm trying to refer to everything, to avoid the "I don't meat, but I do eat chicken" confusion.

Please help me. My son has decided to be a strict vegetarian. He eats no eggs because they smell bad -- even a hint of egg makes him get sick.
Doesn't like beans or legumes of any kind, except one brand of black beans from a certain restaurant that is 45 minutes away from our house.
Will eat peanut butter. No other nuts or seeds.
Doesn't eat hummus.
Hates the taste of milk or cheese.
Refuses most vegetables.
Will eat some fruits.

Tell me how to get him his healthy vegetarian protein, please.

If I understand you correctly, then the only things he ate before he decided to become a vegetarian was meat, grains, and some fruit. I am not a dietician or nutritionist, but that sounds like a problem to me right there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Yes, there is a need to get protein in the diet. But there are a lot of foods that provide protein, other than dead animals. I apologize for using "dead animals", but I'm trying to refer to everything, to avoid the "I don't meat, but I do eat chicken" confusion.

Please help me. My son has decided to be a strict vegetarian. He eats no eggs because they smell bad -- even a hint of egg makes him get sick.
Doesn't like beans or legumes of any kind, except one brand of black beans from a certain restaurant that is 45 minutes away from our house.
Will eat peanut butter. No other nuts or seeds.
Doesn't eat hummus.
Hates the taste of milk or cheese.
Refuses most vegetables.
Will eat some fruits.

Tell me how to get him his healthy vegetarian protein, please.

If I understand you correctly, then the only things he ate before he decided to become a vegetarian was meat, grains, and some fruit. I am not a dietician or nutritionist, but that sounds like a problem to me right there.

This is not a "strict vegetarian." This is someone with extremely disordered eating. A strict vegetarian is someone who embraces a vegetarian menu with all its complexities and deliciousness. Who loves vegetables, who eats a variety of non-meat items and has no interest in meat.

Strict vegetarianism is a fantastic and healthy way of life.

Extremely limited eating is not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the disordered eating poster.

I think you should discuss her eating challenges with a pediatrician and ask for a referral to a specialist.

I smell a pre-eating disorder too in this story, but something about the OP's tone-- "I will not let her wither away"--also smells to me like a major control battle is underway. Your DD does have a right to exert control over her life and choices of food are one way children express this control. Some anorexia research suggests that OCD pathology is closely connected. I am saying all of this to encourage OP to find ways that are not about power to address this problem.

What if you saw a therapist together? Have someone neutral arbitrate essentially the discussion and help you come up with solutions.