Rude kids
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Anonymous
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I just found out I have one of those. One friends parent informed me that my child gives the side eye (and other faces), will not make eye contact (not even when spoken to), will be "off in her own world" and not answer one word answers, whispers and jabs off to the side, will not hold a basic conversation (hello, goodbye, please, thank you), fails to engage on a basic level, and is basically rude as can be.
I confirmed it with other moms, as I know them well enough to ask, thankfully. My child does this with friends she has had since first grade! How can I teach her not to be a rude little so and so? Should I tell my friends (parents) to correct her? My children are not like this at home, and not with just one parent, but essentially with most/all parents outside the home - they are certainly not strangers to her, and no other children seem to be doing this. Example: one of the moms took her for a morning, and as she got out of the car, did not even say thank you or goodbye. (This is why I inquired). Is this normal for a ten year old? Again, my other children did not do this. I did not want enforce bad behavior, I simply want her to give one word responses. She is more than capable, and is fairly smart and fairly social, FWIW. I guess I could ask more questions, but I wanted other parents' opinions before I say something. 
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Anonymous
| I'm really confused. She's a preteen. What exactly do you want from her? |
Anonymous
Is that an excuse for her to be rude and ornery with all other parents/adults? Won't it only get worse? Should she have no social skills? Shouldn't she be learning to better cope? Should she be taught social skills secondarily, or later in life, when it is too late? I am having little sympathy for her, and trying to understand. |
Anonymous
| Op here. I just don't want to have "that kid". |
Anonymous
We all have "that kid". It all depends on the definition of "that". |
Anonymous
| You may need to coach her on how to talk with adults and even practice. Remind her she needs to thank them when they do something for them, she needs to make eye contact, and even if she is "shy" she shouldn't be rude. Some kids just don't see adults as people. |
Anonymous
| She doesn't want to hang out with these people. |
Anonymous
| Look on the bright side, you can save that 529, since she's obviously not cut out for university life! |
Anonymous
She doesn't have to. That is not the point. |
Anonymous
| IDK, to me RUDE is talking back, attitude, etc. Your DD seems socially shy, but I don't know her, you do. I'd work on coaching her at home, 10 is pretty easily remedied, IMO |
Anonymous
| We can switch kids. Mine is that way to me, but not others. |
Anonymous
| Is she shy around other adults? Some kids are intimidated by grown-ups. It's not an excuse to have poor manners, but maybe you could do some role-playing with her to give her more confidence in those situations. If she's whispering and eye-rolling, I'd definitely ask the other parents to call her out on it. Often, corrections bear more weight when coming from a non-parent. |
Anonymous
| This is a no-go for me. My kids are 5 & 7 but we work a lot on appropriate social interaction. And there is a difference between shy & rude. Not responding to adults is unacceptable. I just model the behavior and remind them constantly and it does seem to be sinking in slowly. |
Anonymous
| Don't confuse "shy" and "rude." I'd work on the whispering and eye-rolling as rude behaviors, but the difficulty in talking to adults may be shyness. |
Anonymous
I feel like She is a young Eddie Haskell  Ring any bells with anyone? It is actually a little scary. OP here.
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