Creepy behavior problem at work - WWYD

[Anonymous]

DH is a division director at a company that has offices in several different states. He recently hired an employee to work in one of the out-of-state offices. The guy is in his forties and has been working there for 3 weeks.

It turns out he is one of these "over-sharers" and offers up way too much personal information, especially to his female coworkers. Among the information he has given out is the list of prescriptions he is on which included Viagra. I don't know what else was on the list and what other information he gave out but the young, pretty receptionist there has been getting the brunt of the creepy behavior. She complained to HR and now DH has to respond appropriately to the problem.

DH's instant thought was to fire the man immediately but HR thinks a warning should be given to give him a chance to curb his over-sharing. It's also tricky because DH had just fired the man's predecessor for general incompetence. DH gets the final say in how this is handled but he didn't sleep well and I can tell it's eating at him. What would you do?

[Anonymous]

I think this is between DH and HR.

[Anonymous]

Fire him. Why wouldn't he?

[Anonymous]

How much does the receptionist have to deal with this person? I think HR should be making sure that she is comfortable. I can see some logic in doing a warning first, it could also make for a really untenable situation for the receptionist if his job and her job still require a lot of interaction.

[Anonymous]

If the behavior is truly creepy - fire. If he is just being too chatty - talk to him first.

[Anonymous]

DH should try to have a little compassion for people. Nobody should be fired immediately without a warning or chance to correct their behavior unless it's illegal or truly outrageous. How would he like that?

THe employee needs to be counseled, clearly. HR or your DH need to give him a warning, make it clear to him that personal information should not be discussed in the office, and that he's inadvertently offending people.


That said, the young receptionist could stand to grow a thicker skin. If that really was the complaint.."I take steroids, Lexapro, Viagrao, Topamax, and Ampicilin, and wow, it's a lot to remember"....it's pretty tame. Context is everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fire him. Why wouldn't he?

WHy would he? Do you want to be fired for telling someone you're on BCP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fire him. Why wouldn't he?

WHy would he? Do you want to be fired for telling someone you're on BCP?

Agree. This is not fire-able.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the behavior is truly creepy - fire. If he is just being too chatty - talk to him first.

I think that's what DH is trying to figure out. Because he's out-of-state it's hard to get a handle on how bad things are.

[Anonymous]

I would advise DH to give the guy a warning, but also to talk to the receptionist to let her know that the guy has been warned and let her know she can contact him (DH) if the inappropriate behavior continues.

[Anonymous]

This sounds like a pretty big company, so their personnel office should be aware of internal policies and procedures and applicable laws. Unless he has a good reason to overrule them, he should take their advice.

[Anonymous]

DH might try compassion as a first step. The new guy has an extreme need to share, so perhaps give him a list of support groups in which to share in the area. Such groups exist almost everywhere. Something like "We strive to maintain a friendly yet professional atmosphere here at the office, but we also wish to protect you from sharing too many personal details which could possibly have negative consequences in the future." Tell DH to try compassion and face-saving for starters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this is between DH and HR.

+1. I would ensure that my wife didn't blab all of the information on a website.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is between DH and HR.

+1. I would ensure that my wife didn't blab all of the information on a website.

Yup. Do you have a job, OP?

[Anonymous]

I also think there needs to be some training with both the "creepy" guy and the "young" receptionist. He may be lacking some social graces & she may be naïve & lacking real-world experience. Neither one of them may understand what the situation really means and how to handle it.
For example, when I was young, I had one co-worker that always found a reason to comment on my shoes. Yes, it was odd and I did take some steps to avoid him, but no reason to involved HR. One day he grabbed my foot & asked to fasten the clasp on my shoe, that got a call to HR. Another guy was always asking about my makeup, what kind of tweezers I liked, brands of lotion, okay, a little odd again, no call to HR. Turns out the guy was a transsexual and wanted to trade beauty ideas (not sure if I should have been flattered or not)