Dating a conservative

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A Virginia youth pastor has been sentenced to 240 yrs in prison for 16 different counts of child sex crimes.

The abuse began in 1995 & continued for about 26 years.

Yeah who dates a conservative? Seriously who?

Sex abuse is equally as bad on both side.

Hollywood, wiener, Clinton

Are you trying to equate child sex abuse with sexting or sexual contact with a fully willing 21 year old?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:OP you need to consider what his conservative values are beyond who he votes for.

Will he expect you to change your name when you marry? Would he support you terminating an unwanted or unviable pregnancy? Would he treat your daughters the same as your sons? Would he contribute equally in the home?

I have a very conservative husband and I still have my name after 20+ years of marriage, he was very supporting during my abortion, he treats our daughters very well (they are apple in his eyes), and he contribute 80% toward all house work (I don't cook and I don't clean).

Then your DH is no longer really a conservative. He's what MAGA would call a RINO.

Nope, he even voted for Trump. You will be surprise how many republicans are not against abortion. I would suggest you go out and meet people instead of listening what media tells you about Republicans.

But he will continue to vote for anti-abortion politicians because MAGA! right?

I know what Rs are like. I used to be one and was surrounded by them. MAGA care more about things like taxes and border walls and sticking it to the libs, not about women's rights. The conservatives I know who couldn't stand Trump left the R party.

You really think your DH would be supportive of his wife being a progressive and working on gender equality issues? LOL. You are the one confused about what it means to be conservative.

I worked through the entire marriage and he was always supportive and supported me through the grad school. I don't work on gender equality issues and I am not progressive. But my husband was always the one to take kids to practice, doctor appointments, to cook for them and to clean when we did not have maid. He is very supportive of our daughters who both chose very male dominated careers for themselves.

that's nice, but why does he vote for politicians who want to take your DD's right to control her own body?

Do you believe that politicians have to run your life?

They shouldn't, hence, they shouldn't take away a women's right to choose her reproductive rights. Why does your DH support such politicians if you think politicians shouldn't run your life?

My DH doesn’t really vote.
But you really can’t think of anything to do to support women’s rights than to vote one way or another? Don’t you volunteer to babysit so single moms can work or try to get people out of prisons or anything? Anything at all?

? Your DH doesn't vote? Why not? If he supports a women's right to choose he should be voting.

I support single moms with my taxes. I don't mind paying for a single mom to afford childcare so that she can work. Conservatives, oth, think such a mom should pull herself by her bootstraps, or better yet, she should've kept her legs closed, or maybe taken shlt from her husband and stay married.

I don’t know. The conservatives I see at the shelter for pregnant women don’t seem to say anything like that. They seem to be supporting single moms with diapers and formula and babysitting.
How is it going to you to support people exclusively with your taxes?

Are those conservatives at the sheltering wiring single moms $1700/month for daycare?

If not then they need to butt the F out of women’s reproductive decisions

Uhmm…do you not even know any poor people? They have vouchers for daycare.

DP.. do you live in a bubble? Not all counties have such programs.

If conservatives care so much about poor people, why did so many conservative states decline the medicaid expansion?

No. I don’t live in a bubble. The issue I see (and why free childcare is provided by these groups) is not that childcare isn’t available, but that it isn’t available at the time that people need it. A lot of people work shift work that doesn’t happen during normal daycare hours.

I’m not saying that there aren’t tons of antisocial people in politics. I’m just saying that part of conservative values are caring for your community within the community, rather than outsourcing to politicians.

but why can't you also do your civic duty and vote on policies that will help people. Of course, we don't just rely on politicians, but we live in a society that is run by rules and laws, which means voting for politicians that reflect your values. If you truly want to help single moms and addicts, then why not also vote for policies that will help them, not hurt them.

Not voting is just as bad as voting against such policies if you live in a conservative area.

Because I believe that they are best helped by donating time and money directly to organizations rather than having the government as an intermediary.

Government doesn't need to play a part in Planned Parenthood. They just need to stay out of women's reproductive rights.

Not voting is not helping women, many of whom cannot afford another child and are married.

I can’t debate on this particular issue because I don’t know where I stand, but I don’t think it’s as black and white as you are making it out to be. I have spoken with plenty of women who feel pressured into aborting or delaying pregnancy by their significant other, their parents/extended family, or even their employer.

So what? That means abortion shouldn’t be an option?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:OP you need to consider what his conservative values are beyond who he votes for.

Will he expect you to change your name when you marry? Would he support you terminating an unwanted or unviable pregnancy? Would he treat your daughters the same as your sons? Would he contribute equally in the home?

I have a very conservative husband and I still have my name after 20+ years of marriage, he was very supporting during my abortion, he treats our daughters very well (they are apple in his eyes), and he contribute 80% toward all house work (I don't cook and I don't clean).

Then your DH is no longer really a conservative. He's what MAGA would call a RINO.

Nope, he even voted for Trump. You will be surprise how many republicans are not against abortion. I would suggest you go out and meet people instead of listening what media tells you about Republicans.

But he will continue to vote for anti-abortion politicians because MAGA! right?

I know what Rs are like. I used to be one and was surrounded by them. MAGA care more about things like taxes and border walls and sticking it to the libs, not about women's rights. The conservatives I know who couldn't stand Trump left the R party.

You really think your DH would be supportive of his wife being a progressive and working on gender equality issues? LOL. You are the one confused about what it means to be conservative.

I worked through the entire marriage and he was always supportive and supported me through the grad school. I don't work on gender equality issues and I am not progressive. But my husband was always the one to take kids to practice, doctor appointments, to cook for them and to clean when we did not have maid. He is very supportive of our daughters who both chose very male dominated careers for themselves.

that's nice, but why does he vote for politicians who want to take your DD's right to control her own body?

Do you believe that politicians have to run your life?

They shouldn't, hence, they shouldn't take away a women's right to choose her reproductive rights. Why does your DH support such politicians if you think politicians shouldn't run your life?

My DH doesn’t really vote.
But you really can’t think of anything to do to support women’s rights than to vote one way or another? Don’t you volunteer to babysit so single moms can work or try to get people out of prisons or anything? Anything at all?

? Your DH doesn't vote? Why not? If he supports a women's right to choose he should be voting.

I support single moms with my taxes. I don't mind paying for a single mom to afford childcare so that she can work. Conservatives, oth, think such a mom should pull herself by her bootstraps, or better yet, she should've kept her legs closed, or maybe taken shlt from her husband and stay married.

I don’t know. The conservatives I see at the shelter for pregnant women don’t seem to say anything like that. They seem to be supporting single moms with diapers and formula and babysitting.
How is it going to you to support people exclusively with your taxes?

Are those conservatives at the sheltering wiring single moms $1700/month for daycare?

If not then they need to butt the F out of women’s reproductive decisions

Uhmm…do you not even know any poor people? They have vouchers for daycare.

DP.. do you live in a bubble? Not all counties have such programs.

If conservatives care so much about poor people, why did so many conservative states decline the medicaid expansion?

I’m not saying that ALL conservatives care about poor people. Clearly, there are many conservative politicians who don’t. I’m just saying that, of the people who care, the are EXCLUSIVELY conservative. There are no liberal people handing out water bottles and clean needles to heroin addicts.

I bet you live in an area with a lot of conservatives, and that's why you see a lot more conservatives around. Tell us where you live.

I don't know any conservative who would go around passing out clean needles. Conservatives largely believe that drug addicts are weak in character and need rehab.

Where is this bastion of conservatives that help single moms with childcare and handout clean needles. Next, you'll tell us that conservatives in your area support drag queen shows, and help them put their makeup on.

Well, why don’t you go out and pass around clean needles this weekend and see who else is there? One hundred bucks says that Jesus is their savior, and they will tell you that we are all weak in character.
(I don’t know anyone who doesn’t say that addicts need rehab.)

Doesn't answer the question.

Where is this bastion of conservatives that go around passing out needles and babysitting for single moms.

Here you go, here is just one.

https://www.wjacademy.org/

Can you post a free private school that liberals have started and run?

Yes, it’s called a public school. Liberals believe in public goods.

So your answer is none. Actually liberals believe the poors should go to public school while they send their kids to private or buy a house in a redlined neighborhood.

The Catholic Church is tax-exempt, so it is far simpler for them to start a school than a liberal organization, which would not easily have tax exempt status.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:OP you need to consider what his conservative values are beyond who he votes for.

Will he expect you to change your name when you marry? Would he support you terminating an unwanted or unviable pregnancy? Would he treat your daughters the same as your sons? Would he contribute equally in the home?

I have a very conservative husband and I still have my name after 20+ years of marriage, he was very supporting during my abortion, he treats our daughters very well (they are apple in his eyes), and he contribute 80% toward all house work (I don't cook and I don't clean).

Then your DH is no longer really a conservative. He's what MAGA would call a RINO.

I don't like name calling, but a lot of conservatives had abortions. What they oppose is use of public funds for performing abortions.

then why do they support politicians who have backed over turning abortion in the red states?

And yes, a lot of conservatives have abortions but still vote for politicians who support anti-abortion laws. Such people would go to a blue state to get an abortion if they had to, but will continue supporting anti-abortion politicians.

What's the word.. hypocrites? No, I know, let's call them..."people who secretly are thankful to Dems for supporting abortion in their states but publicly deny being thankful to Dems". That's called two-faced, I think.

Conservatives only want abortion when it suits them and run to blue states to get them, but don't want to support women's rights.

You are so confused.

on the contrary, PP's conservative DH and the PP are the ones who are confused about the conservative party. Their beliefs about women's rights go counter to their party, and they would go to a blue state to get an abortion. Thank god for blue states, right?

Wrong. I had my abortion performed in a red state.

Not for long, babe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Conservatives hate poor, single mothers, especially POC ones.

Sorry, you are troll. There are a lot of Republican black single moms in US.

They’ve been fooled, I’m afraid.

Yes. They’re voting entirely against their interests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a woman that is pretty progressive and liberal and works in gender equity. I've been on a few dates with a conservative/republican. He's super respectful, but do any of you see any long term issues or have any experience? We are both agnostic.

My husband and I have different views. You don't say how old you are or what stage of life. (Sorry if you addressed in a subsequent post; I didn't read them all.) The differences themselves were not really an issue, but the underlying reasons for them are something to think about. For example, my husband's entire family are republicans, and they don't seem to have developed their own views, just accepted what their parents said. My parents are conservative, too, but they don't think in lockstep. After 20+ years together and lots of conversations, my husband's views have tempered, but we still disagree on plenty of political stuff.

So I would look at what led to his conversative views. If it's because his parents hold those views, then that may indicate lack of intellectual curiosity or lack of critical thinking. Or maybe not. He may be a racist, and it just hasn't reared its ugly had yet. Or he may be a wonderful person who thinks differently from you. I think our society would be better off people weren't looking for their mirror image in a mate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a woman that is pretty progressive and liberal and works in gender equity. I've been on a few dates with a conservative/republican. He's super respectful, but do any of you see any long term issues or have any experience? We are both agnostic.

My husband and I have different views. You don't say how old you are or what stage of life. (Sorry if you addressed in a subsequent post; I didn't read them all.) The differences themselves were not really an issue, but the underlying reasons for them are something to think about. For example, my husband's entire family are republicans, and they don't seem to have developed their own views, just accepted what their parents said. My parents are conservative, too, but they don't think in lockstep. After 20+ years together and lots of conversations, my husband's views have tempered, but we still disagree on plenty of political stuff.

So I would look at what led to his conversative views. If it's because his parents hold those views, then that may indicate lack of intellectual curiosity or lack of critical thinking. Or maybe not. He may be a racist, and it just hasn't reared its ugly had yet. Or he may be a wonderful person who thinks differently from you. I think our society would be better off people weren't looking for their mirror image in a mate.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a woman that is pretty progressive and liberal and works in gender equity. I've been on a few dates with a conservative/republican. He's super respectful, but do any of you see any long term issues or have any experience? We are both agnostic.

My husband and I have different views. You don't say how old you are or what stage of life. (Sorry if you addressed in a subsequent post; I didn't read them all.) The differences themselves were not really an issue, but the underlying reasons for them are something to think about. For example, my husband's entire family are republicans, and they don't seem to have developed their own views, just accepted what their parents said. My parents are conservative, too, but they don't think in lockstep. After 20+ years together and lots of conversations, my husband's views have tempered, but we still disagree on plenty of political stuff.

So I would look at what led to his conversative views. If it's because his parents hold those views, then that may indicate lack of intellectual curiosity or lack of critical thinking. Or maybe not. He may be a racist, and it just hasn't reared its ugly had yet. Or he may be a wonderful person who thinks differently from you. I think our society would be better off people weren't looking for their mirror image in a mate.

lol as if liberals somehow arrive at their views via some rational process rather than accepting what their parents said.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think this thread answers your question! It can be done, but don’t go in blind. Politics today is what religion, race, caste, and class have been for a long time. You can marry outside your tribe - but it’s not without challenges.

[Anonymous]

Republicans for their dismissiveness of science and medicine, misogyny, bigotry, greed, lies, destruction of public education and fair democracy, and support for the most vile in office...
MUST BE REVILED, SHAMED, AND SHUNNED AT EVERY TURN.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think this thread answers your question! It can be done, but don’t go in blind. Politics today is what religion, race, caste, and class have been for a long time. You can marry outside your tribe - but it’s not without challenges.

That's true if you're really into politics, easily influenced, and have rigid views.

[Anonymous]

Her political views were batshit crazy but she was better in bed than anyone else I have known. Completely uninhibited yet loved to play the submissive role.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:OP you need to consider what his conservative values are beyond who he votes for.

Will he expect you to change your name when you marry? Would he support you terminating an unwanted or unviable pregnancy? Would he treat your daughters the same as your sons? Would he contribute equally in the home?

I have a very conservative husband and I still have my name after 20+ years of marriage, he was very supporting during my abortion, he treats our daughters very well (they are apple in his eyes), and he contribute 80% toward all house work (I don't cook and I don't clean).

Then your DH is no longer really a conservative. He's what MAGA would call a RINO.

Nope, he even voted for Trump. You will be surprise how many republicans are not against abortion. I would suggest you go out and meet people instead of listening what media tells you about Republicans.

But he will continue to vote for anti-abortion politicians because MAGA! right?

I know what Rs are like. I used to be one and was surrounded by them. MAGA care more about things like taxes and border walls and sticking it to the libs, not about women's rights. The conservatives I know who couldn't stand Trump left the R party.

You really think your DH would be supportive of his wife being a progressive and working on gender equality issues? LOL. You are the one confused about what it means to be conservative.

I worked through the entire marriage and he was always supportive and supported me through the grad school. I don't work on gender equality issues and I am not progressive. But my husband was always the one to take kids to practice, doctor appointments, to cook for them and to clean when we did not have maid. He is very supportive of our daughters who both chose very male dominated careers for themselves.

that's nice, but why does he vote for politicians who want to take your DD's right to control her own body?

Do you believe that politicians have to run your life?

Politicians should stay out of my medical decisions. Your husband disagrees.

Ughh…this drives me crazy. I am married to a conservative, and am largely apolitical. Talking points like this one are the cause of most of our arguments. You don’t actually believe that the government should stay out of your medical decisions. Or maybe you do, but that isn’t actually what you are talking about here. You are talking about this one very tiny part of medical care.

Let’s say that DH was liberal and not conservative, and came home with this talking point. This might be our conversation:

DH: “Do you think the government should be involved in people’s medical decisions?”
Me (knowing nothing except that he tends to have a liberal point of view): “Yes! The government should mandate vaccines and expand medical coverage.”
DH: “No, no. Do you think if a patient and their doctor agree on medical care that the state should be able to step in and say it’s illegal?”
Me: “Well, I don’t know. We have kind of talked about how horrible some of the pain clinics were and it’s good that they were busted by the government. And how awful some of the practices with praying the gay away were terrible, and we are glad they were outlawed in several states.”
DH (kind of angry now): “No. I mean if the care is declared standard of practice by the medical board and it’s what the patient and the doctor both agree on, should the state be allowed to stop it?”
Me: “You mean like the new guidelines about prescribing phentermine to overweight children?”
DH: pissed
Me: still baffled

Huh?

Pregnancy is not a highly contagious disease. Educate yourself about human reproduction.

Praying the gay away is fraud. You can't just make up fake claims about treatments and present them as legitimate medical treatments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A Virginia youth pastor has been sentenced to 240 yrs in prison for 16 different counts of child sex crimes.

The abuse began in 1995 & continued for about 26 years.

Yeah who dates a conservative? Seriously who?

Sex abuse is equally as bad on both side.

Hollywood, wiener, Clinton

Are you trying to equate child sex abuse with sexting or sexual contact with a fully willing 21 year old?

I'm equating rape with rape and child sex abuse with child sex abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most men are self-centered. Conservative men even more so. It is all about them and their little egos.

Don't do this to yourself, OP!

I would not generalize it like that. My conservative husband believes that women should not pull all the weight in the family. He is convinced that it takes a village to raise a child and since we don't have a village around us (all our families are a long flight away), he always paid for a live-in-maid when our kids were young. He knows that women need a substantial help, especially when they want to work full time outside of the house.