when is it right to take a new job with young kids?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| I am at a crossroads and not sure what to do. I have a job that I like but don't love as a nonprofit CEO. There is some travel involved (5-7 times yearly) but my schedule is flexible and I can work several days from home every week and leave the office by 5 pm. DH has a demanding job with little flexibility that we have both agreed is a priority for various reasons, including the fact that we could (more easily) live off of his salary alone. We have 2 kids under 5 and would like to have more. The best thing about my job is that it allows me a decent work life balance but the daily grind is wearing on me. I am considering another job that is more prestigious and would put me back on the substantive work track that I would like to be on but I don't know if I would have the same level of autonomy or flexibility. (Is there a way to ask about the work schedule without coming across as someone who is looking for an easy job?) I don't want to sacrifice my family life just because I don't love my job but I also want to be fulfilled at work. I know this is a very personal decision and one that depends so much on the indicidual circumstances of my family but I would welcome any comments. This gets easier right? |
Anonymous
| You need to ask around discretely about work/life balance. Ask other people at the companies you want to go to, read industry newsletters, websites,etc. |
Anonymous
| If you are tired of the daily grind, do you have the bandwidth to take on a more demanding job? |
Anonymous
OP here. Good point. Mostly I am tired of the kind of work I am doing, in particular dealing with the HR and management parts of the job. The new job would allow me to work more independently on high level special projects. |
Anonymous
PP here. Personally, I do not have the bandwidth to take a whole new job. I have a 4 year old and a 6 month old. The ability to flex my schedule is key-- I would do anything so long as I had the ability to leave early (like 4pm) to pick up my kids and then work in the evenings. What's your child care arrangement? Do you have a spouse or nanny who can do pick up or cover when things come up? |
Anonymous
| Look into getting a government job. |
Anonymous
Actually, I think government positions (in general) offer very little flexibility unless you are in the right office. You need to take leave to take your kid to the doctor, even though you put in a 10 hour day and/or work from home in the evenings. You can't work from home because the boss is old school and needs face time. The only benefit is that generally you can have really set hours. |
Anonymous
| It's not clear if you've already been made an offer or not, but if you have, I don't think there's any harm in asking work/life balance questions. If they've already made you an offer and this is a prestigious job, then they probably already know you're not looking for an easy job. |
Anonymous
| Why not sahm? Genuinely curious. |
Anonymous
|
What are your career goals, and how will either job option help/hinder meeting those goals? Consider the long term consequences of your short term concerns.
in which one can you contribute more to retirement/savings? |
Anonymous
| I think 18:20 and 18:44 make good points. |
Anonymous
| Does the new job excite you or are you pursuing it because it's prestigious and substantive? Would the new job be a stepping stone job, i.e. do it for 2-3 years so that you're in a position to do something better/more exciting/more flexible or whatever after. |
Anonymous
| OP here. Thanks for the points to consider. I don't have an offer in hand yet but I expect to get one soon. My current job is very flexible, which is important given the lack of DH's flexibility. The benefits and pay are good - $175k, 5% 401k match - but I wouldn't take the other job unless I could negotiate similar comp, which is possible given the pay scale of the potential new job. The new job would be better for me career wise in the long run but I guess where my brain ends up is asking myself, what happens if the new job works out and I am fantastic at it? It could lead me to bigger and better jobs but is that what I really want? A superstar career which will probably require me to sacrifice my ability to volunteer with my kids school, take them to late afternoon classes, work from home a few days a week...? I guess I am struggling with the question of whether I am going to lean in or lean out. I am over 40 and had thought I was happy with a "good enough" job but this new opportunity got me excited about work for the first time in a long time. (Please don't flame me; I know that I am very lucky to have my job!) I think I need to stay put but I am experiencing lots of angst over the decision. Thanks for hearing me out. |
Anonymous
I get it, OP. When my baby was born, I had a "good enough" job. Super flexible, great boss, lots of autonomy... but boring and without any hope of a new challenge. After having a baby I realized that I *wanted* to lean in - otherwise why the hell was I paying someone else to be home with my child all day? If I am going to work (and I want to!), it has to be at a job that is really, really worth it. |
Anonymous
|
I get it as well, OP.
In all honestly, I'm finding it was easier to lean in while the kids are fairly young. There's a dependable safety net and not the pull of competing events once they hit school age. One thing to think about is that I imagine that a CEO of a nonprofit can fairly easily transition elsewhere (unless the nonprofit fails). Folks seem to bounce around all the time. |