Invitation somehow an insult

[Anonymous]

My awful parents have never met my children. I invited them since our basement will be vacant for a few months. She doesn't work and neither does my dad. They've never met my youngest (1 year old), despite being invited numerous times. My mom deemed this invite as an insult because she has occupational therapy for a minor outpatient procedure once a month. She sent crazy photos of her hand (she had carpal tunnel surgery) and then said that I "wouldn't understand since I've never had surgery" (I guess c sections don't count?). They're young (50s) and have the financial resources to come, but I offered to pay for their tickets too. My dad is more than capable of rolling a suitcase along for my mom if she doesn't feel comfortable using her other hand.

My parents seem to discover new lows every single time. By the way, they don't live far away (they can drive) or they can take a quick flight. they've never visited my house once, and the many times I've come to them they've done something horrible like break into my email account on my phone, or ask my older children how often we fight and how much money we make etc.

Why do I want them to come? I don't. But my husband really thinks its unfair to not have my kids know their grandparents. Sorry for the vent.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry, OP. That real sticks. I'd encourage your husband to just let it go. For whatever reason they don't want to make the effort.
Can you go there? I know it's hard to travel with a 1 year old.

[Anonymous]

I would tell your DH if he would like to try creating a nurturing relationship between your kids and their grandparents, then go for it. Send him to visit for a couple days on his own so he can get to know them a bit first.

[Anonymous]

Does your husband really think these are people worth knowing? I don't.

What about HIS parents? What about adopting a lonely older couple in your neighborhood who aren't crazy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My awful parents have never met my children. I invited them since our basement will be vacant for a few months. She doesn't work and neither does my dad. They've never met my youngest (1 year old), despite being invited numerous times. My mom deemed this invite as an insult because she has occupational therapy for a minor outpatient procedure once a month. She sent crazy photos of her hand (she had carpal tunnel surgery) and then said that I "wouldn't understand since I've never had surgery" (I guess c sections don't count?). They're young (50s) and have the financial resources to come, but I offered to pay for their tickets too. My dad is more than capable of rolling a suitcase along for my mom if she doesn't feel comfortable using her other hand.

My parents seem to discover new lows every single time. By the way, they don't live far away (they can drive) or they can take a quick flight. they've never visited my house once, and the many times I've come to them they've done something horrible like break into my email account on my phone, or ask my older children how often we fight and how much money we make etc.

Why do I want them to come? I don't. But my husband really thinks its unfair to not have my kids know their grandparents. Sorry for the vent.

This sounds like a sitcom.

[Anonymous]

Your husband thinks it's important to be exposed to mean and overbearing people just because they're "family"? Loony!

You have to put your foot down, and you can, easily, since they don't even want to come.

I had to severely limit contact with my mother, who has said and done awful things. We have made really good friends in recent years who have become like family.

[Anonymous]

We have a good relationship with his parents. My parents hate my dh and he can't accept that. They hate all their inlaws. He thinks if we knew each other better. Not going to happen. I should mention that my oldest child HATES my mother since she's so awful. This is really for the best, but I hate that my mother now has another "reason" to be angry at me. Also my pride is a but hurt too.

[Anonymous]

We have a good relationship with his parents. My parents hate my dh and he can't accept that. They hate all their inlaws. He thinks if we knew each other better. Not going to happen. I should mention that my oldest child HATES my mother since she's so awful. This is really for the best, but I hate that my mother now has another "reason" to be angry at me. Also my pride is a but hurt too.

[Anonymous]

We have a good relationship with his parents. My parents hate my dh and he can't accept that. They hate all their inlaws. He thinks if we knew each other better. Not going to happen. I should mention that my oldest child HATES my mother since she's so awful. This is really for the best, but I hate that my mother now has another "reason" to be angry at me. Also my pride is a but hurt too.

[Anonymous]

Nope, if they're that crazy, you shouldn't invite them to your home, nor should you try to foster a relationship with them beyond perhaps a once a year visit, maybe just from you, if you can stand it.

[Anonymous]

I think kids of course should know their grandparents, but if you think your parents are weird, mean, etc.. don't you think they'd say something terrible to or in front of your kids? I wouldn't want my kids exposed to that, even if it's from grandparents.

[Anonymous]

Your mother sounds mentally ill. What would you do if she took you up on your offer? That would be terrible.

Someone is watching over you, OP, and it's not your mother. Be grateful!!

[Anonymous]

You said they never met your children but then said they asked your older child questions about you.

Why would you want them to come to your house of they are so intrusive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would tell your DH if he would like to try creating a nurturing relationship between your kids and their grandparents, then go for it. Send him to visit for a couple days on his own so he can get to know them a bit first.

+1

Cut them out of our life. They don't want to be there, or they would make an effort. You have done your part, so let it go without any guilt. What about your in laws?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous[b wrote:]You said they never met your children but then said they asked your older child questions about you.[/b]

Why would you want them to come to your house of they are so intrusive?

Must be a troll. Great catch!