Full time working mom with child in need of multiple interventions
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Anonymous
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DD needs OT, ST, and PT. DH and I both work FT. We could take the paycut if I went down to 32 hours, but I would still work 40 and my career would suffer. She won't always need services, so we're really trying to decide our next steps.
DH's job is not flexible. He works in a secure facility and (obviously) cannot WFH. I have 4w vacation/2w (1 for family) sick and the ability to WFH as needed. Has anyone successfully pulled this off? My management would be amenable to my flexing my schedule significantly as needed and DD will start school in a year, at which time she will not be 100% in private therapy. Thoughts? |
Anonymous
| Could you swing a nanny? Then the nanny could shuttle adD around to appointments and you could have her send vids, pics, voice recordings, etc. of any relevant "homework." |
Anonymous
| Well, it's tough to say without knowing the needs. Do you think she won't always need the services just because she will be going to school, or because they are mild things that you expect to be discharged within a few months? If it's the latter, then your plan may work out very well. However, if it's just because she will be going to school, I would caution that while we have overall had a positive experience with my child's schools, it is by no means "set it and forget it". I originally thought I would be able to just work while he was in school, but in reality, schools need constant input, monitoring, conversation, meetings, etc. I always tell people that they need to be dropping by randomly, having eyes on the classroom, if your child has significant needs. I have a typical child in addition to my SN child. For my typical child, we send her to school, and that's pretty much the end of it (I mean, we help with homework and communicate with her teacher about big deal stuff, but honestly, takes about an average of 15 minutes per week, at most). For my SN kid, I probably spend at least 5 hours per week communicating with school staff, dealing with IEPs, communicating between all the various providers etc. Also, we've had highly variable luck with public school speech and OTs - some are exceptional, some are barely worth the time spent at all (and some can even be counterproductive). It's also hard to get enough services at school, even with great providers. So most people, if they are able, continue to supplement outside of school. Just some food for thought as you are planning for the future. |
Anonymous
| I would just not put her in therapy. That way your career won't suffer. |
Anonymous
my thought too |
Anonymous
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<< my thought too >>. Is this sarcastic? OP, have you looked into FMLA? |
Anonymous
Thanks for being assholes. |
Anonymous
| We use a nanny and pay a premium to have Dr.s close by. |
Anonymous
| How old is your child? My SN kid also had multiple therapies, about 6 appointments per week. Things that we did to help manage (we both worked full time, though only 40 hrs/week). When she was younger than 3, we had as many therapies at the house as possible through Early Intervention. We found therapists who were willing to work with our schedules, so 2 days a week we had 7:45 a.m. appointments at home, and 2 days a week we had 4:30 p.m. appointments at home. We live close to work so could commute in/out of work within 15 minutes on bike, making it okay to slip in/out of the office. I also teleworked and scheduled my telework days to be the days when we had out of the house appointments. On those days, I would extend my telework day to be around 9-1/2 hours so that I wouldn't have to take leave for the 1.5 hours I was at therapy. It also helped to have a regular schedule -- once my work got used to the fact that Mondays at 10 I would never be available, it wasn't a big deal. Oh and that's the other thing. Mondays and Fridays are less busy in my office so those were good therapy days as I was less likely to miss something important. It took a lot of planning but it was doable. Good luck! |
Anonymous
What county do you live in? Can you enroll your child into a school with a child find program that has therapies on site? Given that you have multiple therapies, how many are reasonable to get stacked on a day? Can you work 4 x 10s and have them on 1 day? What type of career impact are you concerned about? |
Anonymous
That is pretty brutal for the child. Unlikely the therapies will be as effective when stacked. |
Anonymous
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I take my child to therapy 1x per week, work from home on that day, but I still lose close to 2 hours with getting him there and back. The nanny takes him to a different therapy 1x per week. My employer is pretty flexible. I definitely suggest looking into FMLA leave, if you're worried about the employer penalizing you for lost time. If your employer is in DC, I think you can choose to take it as unpaid rather than burn your sick leave (if employer even allows you to use sick leave for child's appointments). You can take it as "intermittent" leave. You're only eligible if you have worked there at least a year and the employer has at least 50 employees w/in a 75 mile radius.
I would also be very clear with the OT and PT that you see this as a time-limited thing, and what you expect/hope to get out of it in that time frame. In my experience, this therapy can often go on and on. |
Anonymous
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OP here. Thanks to those of you who have honestly and non-snottily answered the question. (We do not have the luxury of endless income, so the reality is that, while I could take a paycut, it will be hard. And long-term, cutting my hours will affect our family income in ways that we can't necessarily afford or predict.)
Can FMLA be taken in onesies-twosies? My understanding was that it couldn't, but maybe that's a company level requirement? A previous employer didn't allow that. The nanny option -- do you who have nannies find that the nanny is able to give you good feedback about what is going on in therapy? PP, the reason I feel like starting school will help is that we just got into the ChildFind system and some people have told me we'll be borderline, but I have the records of her private evaluations and so I suspect she will receive some services through the county. |
Anonymous
| FMLA can be taken intermittently. Like a couple of days a week. |
Anonymous
| What's the benefit of intermittent FMLA vs. shortened hours? Because I assume my vacation/sick would be cut based on my hours, so would it be a wash? |