Full time working mom with child in need of multiple interventions

[Anonymous]

I think FMLA allows your to take the time you need without being penalized -- ie losing your job etc.

It's just an option. Shortened hours may work better.

[Anonymous]

On nannies: it depends on the nanny. I would look for bare minimum requirements of
1) truly fluent in English
2) some college education (even if unrelated, it shows an ability to synthesize information)
3) previous experience handling doctor's appointments (e.g., kids with allergies or asthma or anything where she had to relay information back and forth).

If you could afford it/can find someone, the better option would be someone with a background working with SN kids, child development degree, etc.

You can also have the therapists call you at the end of a session and brief you rather than the nanny, and you can rotate taking DC to every 3rd or 4th appointment with a given therapist, which would allow you to keep tabs on everything, but still only have to take time off for one appointment per week--so you would attend PT appointment one week while nanny took her to ST and OT, then next week you do ST and nanny does OT and PT, etc. That way you still have a finger on the pulse, but are not missing substantial amounts of work. Other benefits to a nanny are that you could look for someone willing to help with DC laundry, do a little grocery shopping and maybe make dinner 2 nights a week. That would enable you to use more of your non-work time on DC.

[Anonymous]

I would look for a college student to help out. I found an astonishingly wonderful babysitter on care.com. i bet you can find a student who will be a great partner. It may hurt financially this year, but think of it as an investment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks to those of you who have honestly and non-snottily answered the question. (We do not have the luxury of endless income, so the reality is that, while I could take a paycut, it will be hard. And long-term, cutting my hours will affect our family income in ways that we can't necessarily afford or predict.)

Can FMLA be taken in onesies-twosies? My understanding was that it couldn't, but maybe that's a company level requirement? A previous employer didn't allow that.

The nanny option -- do you who have nannies find that the nanny is able to give you good feedback about what is going on in therapy?

PP, the reason I feel like starting school will help is that we just got into the ChildFind system and some people have told me we'll be borderline, but I have the records of her private evaluations and so I suspect she will receive some services through the county.

I'll answer about the nanny. It really depends on who you hire. We were extremely lucky, our nanny was getting a masters in speech pathology so she was able to do a TON Of exercises with DS in addition to all the stuff he did at his private SLP. She also drove DS to his OT and social groups appointments. We always had very detailed feedback from her. Sometimes she would try smth new like a new merit chart or a new activity and then report back to us. It was through her we found a lot of activities geared towards SN children like adapted taekwando and gymnastics. She was a godsend and we think that she was the main reason why DS was so well-prepared to enter K. Sure, we had an IEP ready before he started school but academically and socially he was ready.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD needs OT, ST, and PT. DH and I both work FT. We could take the paycut if I went down to 32 hours, but I would still work 40 and my career would suffer. She won't always need services, so we're really trying to decide our next steps.

DH's job is not flexible. He works in a secure facility and (obviously) cannot WFH. I have 4w vacation/2w (1 for family) sick and the ability to WFH as needed.

Has anyone successfully pulled this off? My management would be amenable to my flexing my schedule significantly as needed and DD will start school in a year, at which time she will not be 100% in private therapy. Thoughts?

From what you say above, it sounds like you already have a pretty good situation for dealing with getting the therapy in. If your employer is open to you WFH "as neeed", can you just schedule your DD's appts. earlier in the morning or later in the day...and flex your schedule accordingly? Also, you didn't mention whether or not she is in daycare, but the therapists could treat her where she attends daycare, without you even needing to be there. Right now, my DS receives OT, ST and ABA. He receives his OT and some of his ABA right in the daycare...and the rest is later in the day at home. My work has been fine with it so far.

[Anonymous]

How old is your daughter? See if you can find providers with weekend hours. It's tough but you can possibly find some who work on Saturday morning or some evenings. Can any see her at her day care or school? Can you find someone who has an early morning appointment available so that you can perhaps take her to therapy and then go into work a bit later. But honestly, in the short term, I would figure out what therapy has the highest priority and focus on that. I have twins (now tweens) who had tons of therapy as toddlers and for many years thereafter. It consumed our whole lives (and bank accounts) for many years and I sometimes wonder if we could have gotten away with much less...

[Anonymous]

I haven't read the whole thread. But big picture response:

I have kept my fulltime job and my child has received multiple therapies for years. I have done this through a combination of flexibility at work, working from home some, using FMLA, and using college-aged babysitters. They have been helpful in communicating what is happening in therapies, and I spend a lot of time communicating with the therapists as well. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Both your and your DH can take FMLA.

[Anonymous]

For our first LO who needed multiple therapies weekly, we juggled it with flexible schedules and understanding supervisors. It was very hard. And then our second LO born two years later ended up having very different and unique SN too and we needed to get even more creative, because she required a different level of intensive daily therapy that only we could pull off (wouldn't have trusted a nanny). So for that, dh took unpaid leave and FMLA since I don't have that option and is just working a reduced schedule until a good therapeutic school program starts in the fall.

[Anonymous]

I did it, but my mom lived nearby and it was back in 08/07 when the economy was tanking (I can't remember - those years are just a blur). Not quitting was the best thing I ever did. We were going that we'd keep working till I lost my job (my company had announced layoffs).

We did it with a mix of nanny (college age, sometimes only taking one class - but it's more the mindset. both had followed boys here for jobs) and email and phone calls with providers over the years. If you are in FCPS and qualify for Childfind, those teachers are great and email any time of the day. They also wanted to co-ordinate what we were doing privately with what the county was doing.

You can do it. My son is 9 now and this all started when he was 2. I'm a little blurry at this point (those years were blurry) - but OT, ST and PT aren't lifelong items - stick out the job. Most stuff wrapped up in 3 years and some stuff was a little long (ST was the longest I think). (you'll need it to pay for everyone!)

[Anonymous]

I went part-time and took the hit to my career. It pretty much wrecked it. I am now retraining for a second career.

[Anonymous]

What is your child care? Someone cares for your child now, right OP? That person can bring your child to therapy or chaperone therapists in your home.

How old is your child? You really need to tell us. If this is an infant or under 3, your child should be receiving therapy in your home, via Early Intervention.

Over 3, some of these therapies can be given in a day care or school setting.

Either way, a care provider can manage some of this. Some of this can be on your clock. It's a patchwork.

[Anonymous]

14:02 here.

I will also say this. You need to prioritize therapies. You don't say what your child's problems, issues, or diagnosis is. But you can't do everything and neither can your child. Both you and your child's energy is limited. Expecting your child to do weekly OT, PT, and ST full time and commitedly and gain results is like expecting someone to quit smoking, lose weight, and learn Chinese. It's not going to happen.

[Anonymous]

OP here. DD is 4.5 -- starts K a year from Sept. She is in full time center care right now. It's a good center with a strong curriculum and loving and aware teachers. She has had hypotonia issues since infancy and now auditory processing related issues as well as fine motor limitations are emerging.

I think the hypotonia and capd issues are the most significant, if I have to prioritize (and I will because insurance only covers 40 OT/PT a year). OT can be managed at home with a lot of hands on games and interactive play, with periodic check ins. The CAPD, however, is something she needs strong coping skills for.

We are in Fairfax Co and our child care center works with Child Find very, very well. They are close to Forest Edge and Aldrin, where many of the PreK services are coordinated.

She is a very strong visual learner and logical thinker, so it's a matter of helping the pieces come together in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like OP is more concerned with her job than her kid.