s/o redshirting an advanced girl

[Anonymous]

DD will be 4 at the end of august and therefore turn 5 just before the start of kindergarten. DD has an older brother and we are a middle class family. DD as a result is 'advanced' and seems to be hurtling through milestones and not stopping to smell the childhood roses. DD seems intent of catching up with her brother who is five years older and because she is exposed to so much more thanks to him soaks up and does more than he did at that age.

I am afraid she is however going to miss out on the more important aspects of childhood, which will be too difficult to capture and recreate later during the rat race of elementary school. We are actively considering holding her back to slow her down.

Are we insane?

[Anonymous]

Yes, why would you not addressed it sooner and done more to encourage her to be age appropriate.

[Anonymous]

That's the best reason I've heard yet to make reshirting illegal.

[Anonymous]

Yes you are insane. My DD has a mid August bday. I sent her on time. The cutoff in most schools are Sept 1 or later, so your child doesn't need to be redshirted for any reason.

What rat race is there in ES? Only if you make it so. I would take the lead from your child. She is showing you she wants to be challenged. Not sure why you are stopping her. You can ensure she has a great childhood still by leaving a lot of time for play. It doesn't have to be a rat race.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, why would you not addressed it sooner and done more to encourage her to be age appropriate.

It is not for the lack of trying. She is very strong willed and self directed. Perhaps redshirting isn't the answer. Perhaps we need another channel to help her calm down and be more child-like. I would love advice.

Also she is not yet four so we haven't exactly waited too late. Most of this rapid advancement has been taking place in the last 8-9 months

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes you are insane. My DD has a mid August bday. I sent her on time. The cutoff in most schools are Sept 1 or later, so your child doesn't need to be redshirted for any reason.

What rat race is there in ES? Only if you make it so. I would take the lead from your child. She is showing you she wants to be challenged. Not sure why you are stopping her. You can ensure she has a great childhood still by leaving a lot of time for play. It doesn't have to be a rat race.

OP here. I completely agree that the rat race in ES is a large part the parents, but a competitive minded child picks up on these things from her peers.
The first thing we have done is to pull her from Montessori and put her in play based (the former just fed her constant desire for advancement and did nothing to foster other aspects. Not a criticism of montessori it just worked out that way

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, why would you not addressed it sooner and done more to encourage her to be age appropriate.

It is not for the lack of trying. She is very strong willed and self directed. Perhaps redshirting isn't the answer. Perhaps we need another channel to help her calm down and be more child-like. I would love advice.

Also she is not yet four so we haven't exactly waited too late. Most of this rapid advancement has been taking place in the last 8-9 months

She is not yet 4 and has another year before starting K even if not redshirted, and you are wondering if you should redshirt now? You are weird. A lot can happen in a year.

My DS is a summer baby. Very advanced. Always has been, but on the small side even compared to other boys born in the summer. Never ever thought for one minute to redshirt. When I think about what it would've been like for him if we did redshirt him, he would've been soo bored, and probably caused problems in class out of boredom. He is in HGC and compacted math now. We did not push him. DS hasn't missed out on his early childhood. I recently asked DS what he thought about K and 1st grade. He said they were awesome because it was like one big playdate. The academics for him were easy, so he just had a lot of fun with friends.

I think you would be doing your DD a disservice if you redshirted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, why would you not addressed it sooner and done more to encourage her to be age appropriate.

How the hell are you going to make a kid slow down? How is being advanced not age appropriate? Is this because it is a girl, not a boy? SMH!!!

[Anonymous]

Yes, you are insane. Send the girl on time. Red shirting should not be the norm.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't decide for another 6+ months, but in this case I would probably send her on-time. I'd just try not to over schedule her when she's starting out - leave lots of time for free play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, why would you not addressed it sooner and done more to encourage her to be age appropriate.

How the hell are you going to make a kid slow down? How is being advanced not age appropriate? Is this because it is a girl, not a boy? SMH!!!

SMH?

I think being too advanced is a bit scary not from an age appropriate perspective as much as one of burn out. My older boy was practically remedial at this age and spent oodles of time naval gazing and role playing. He is also advance now at age 9 but his progression was gradual. He is now very creative and curious and easy going and I can't help but feel that his more relaxed approach to the early years played a part.

Perhaps this is about temperament. They are different kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes you are insane. My DD has a mid August bday. I sent her on time. The cutoff in most schools are Sept 1 or later, so your child doesn't need to be redshirted for any reason.

What rat race is there in ES? Only if you make it so. I would take the lead from your child. She is showing you she wants to be challenged. Not sure why you are stopping her. You can ensure she has a great childhood still by leaving a lot of time for play. It doesn't have to be a rat race.

OP here. I completely agree that the rat race in ES is a large part the parents, but a competitive minded child picks up on these things from her peers.
The first thing we have done is to pull her from Montessori and put her in play based (the former just fed her constant desire for advancement and did nothing to foster other aspects. Not a criticism of montessori it just worked out that way

Some kids just have a competitive nature. My brother is 3 yrs older than me, and I was always trying to compete with him. It happens sometimes to younger siblings. This nature has served me well because it made me try hard. But, I do think you need to make sure your DD knows how to fail because it will obviously happen sooner or later. She may pickup on the competitive nature in her school, but you can enforce that it is about trying your best, not about comparing yourself to others. However, it is possible that your DD just has a competitive nature, and no matter how much you try to hold her back, that nature will come out. Better to mold that nature now while she is still young than later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes you are insane. My DD has a mid August bday. I sent her on time. The cutoff in most schools are Sept 1 or later, so your child doesn't need to be redshirted for any reason.

What rat race is there in ES? Only if you make it so. I would take the lead from your child. She is showing you she wants to be challenged. Not sure why you are stopping her. You can ensure she has a great childhood still by leaving a lot of time for play. It doesn't have to be a rat race.

OP here. I completely agree that the rat race in ES is a large part the parents, but a competitive minded child picks up on these things from her peers.
The first thing we have done is to pull her from Montessori and put her in play based (the former just fed her constant desire for advancement and did nothing to foster other aspects. Not a criticism of montessori it just worked out that way

Some kids just have a competitive nature. My brother is 3 yrs older than me, and I was always trying to compete with him. It happens sometimes to younger siblings. This nature has served me well because it made me try hard. But, I do think you need to make sure your DD knows how to fail because it will obviously happen sooner or later. She may pickup on the competitive nature in her school, but you can enforce that it is about trying your best, not about comparing yourself to others. However, it is possible that your DD just has a competitive nature, and no matter how much you try to hold her back, that nature will come out. Better to mold that nature now while she is still young than later.

OP here - you make a good point

[Anonymous]

Decide next year. If she fits in, send her. Redshirting is a good thing for those who benefit from it--doesnt' sound like she would.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD will be 4 at the end of august and therefore turn 5 just before the start of kindergarten. DD has an older brother and we are a middle class family. DD as a result is 'advanced' and seems to be hurtling through milestones and not stopping to smell the childhood roses. DD seems intent of catching up with her brother who is five years older and because she is exposed to so much more thanks to him soaks up and does more than he did at that age.

I am afraid she is however going to miss out on the more important aspects of childhood, which will be too difficult to capture and recreate later during the rat race of elementary school. We are actively considering holding her back to slow her down.

Are we insane?

What are the more important aspects of childhood, how is she missing out on them, and how would holding her back make her not miss out on them?

Some people have a smell-the-roses personality, some people don't.