s/o redshirting an advanced girl

[Anonymous]

You just described me at that age. I entered K at 4 and never looked back. I can't imagine if my parents had held me back a year. I likely would have been bored silly. Fwiw, I don't think I missed out on childhood at all.

[Anonymous]

You think your kid is advanced because she's middle class and has an older sibling? That's ... Average. And if your kid is advanced, you don't hold them back.

My two youngest kids were born in September. Each wound up skipping a grade. Neither has missed out in any childhood fun. Yes, you are insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You think your kid is advanced because she's middle class and has an older sibling? That's ... Average. And if your kid is advanced, you don't hold them back.

My two youngest kids were born in September. Each wound up skipping a grade. Neither has missed out in any childhood fun. Yes, you are insane.

+1
You sound like one of those parents who refuse to let their youngest grow up. It drives me crazy when I see parents, who were perfectly age appropriate with their other children, treat their youngest as "the baby" when the baby stage is long gone.

[Anonymous]

I don't think you can force anyone to "slow down and smell the roses." But I'm 100% certain that you don't add a year to the wait for K if you have an on time DD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You think your kid is advanced because she's middle class and has an older sibling? That's ... Average. And if your kid is advanced, you don't hold them back.

My two youngest kids were born in September. Each wound up skipping a grade. Neither has missed out in any childhood fun. Yes, you are insane.

I think you might misunderstand me. Or i was not clear. I made a reference to being middle class and having an older sibling to show that since we are focused on our older child's education and extracurriculars, DD has been an indirect beneficiary without having any direct instruction herself. For instance she plays the same piano pieces her brother does - he practices for 5 minutes a day and she sit at the piano for up to an hour a day trying to master them. When we work on word problems and mental math with him, she's chimes in with the correct answers. She insists on going to the pool everyday and has started swimming independently (though not as fast as) to match up to her brother.

She is just so driven and competitive that I was wondering out aloud whether an additional year in a play based environment (without the older kids of a montessori classroom) would just calm her down a bit. After reading all your responses I am also veering towards finding another way for her to be more creative, engage in more social activities. She's great hanging out with older kids, but struggles to initiate friendships with peers who are less verbal than she is.


Perhaps like many of you who were advanced/driven as kids she will figure it out over time.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP, I get where you are coming from. I have a summer birthday boy who is similar. He went to a summer camp at Acorn Hill Waldorf School in Silver Spring this summer and it really did help him to just play and enjoy being a kid. They spend lots of time outside. Highly recommend it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP, I get where you are coming from. I have a summer birthday boy who is similar. He went to a summer camp at Acorn Hill Waldorf School in Silver Spring this summer and it really did help him to just play and enjoy being a kid. They spend lots of time outside. Highly recommend it!

I"m not OP - but I'm going to look into this camp. Wasn't exactly thrilled with our camp this year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP, I get where you are coming from. I have a summer birthday boy who is similar. He went to a summer camp at Acorn Hill Waldorf School in Silver Spring this summer and it really did help him to just play and enjoy being a kid. They spend lots of time outside. Highly recommend it!

Thanks I'll look into it. I was at a community sale there once-their playground is beautiful

[Anonymous]

Yes you are insane. Your DD is not you. You are not to judge what will/will not bring her a satisfying life. She may be destined for a future you can not foresee.

[Anonymous]

Going to school on schedule with her peers is a part of childhood - she'll have a great time. In the mean time, get her outside to play in parks, playgrounds, and the woods.

[Anonymous]

Redshirting is for kids who are not academically ready, not for kids who are advanced!! What do you think is going to happen to a bright child if you redshirt her? She is going to be bored out of her mind, which could cause serious problems down the line. Seriously, this is one of the weirder things I have read here: my child should be held back because she is advanced??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Redshirting is for kids who are not academically ready, not for kids who are advanced!! What do you think is going to happen to a bright child if you redshirt her? She is going to be bored out of her mind, which could cause serious problems down the line. Seriously, this is one of the weirder things I have read here: my child should be held back because she is advanced??

+1.

The OP needs to rethink what having an ideal childhood means. I thought your pulling her out of Montessori was interesting as well. Is she happier in her current school? You cannot artificially slow down a child's desire to learn. You can slow down her learning, sure, by not providing her with the right challenges. But not the internal desire to do something and be competitive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Redshirting is for kids who are not academically ready, not for kids who are advanced!! What do you think is going to happen to a bright child if you redshirt her? She is going to be bored out of her mind, which could cause serious problems down the line. Seriously, this is one of the weirder things I have read here: my child should be held back because she is advanced??

My title for the thread I admit, is misleading. This is not about holding back a child because she is advanced. Being advanced is a symptom of her nature. Driven, not balanced and not interested in creative role playing as much as achievement. Advanced kids become average and vice versa - I get it. However, being well adjusted and balanced will hopefully contribute to good friendships and long term happiness along the way.

I agree with you though. Holding her back in Pre-K may backfire in other ways and be compounded by her need to overachieve in every situation.

I should have asked how to get her to just be a child and calm the f*$k down

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You think your kid is advanced because she's middle class and has an older sibling? That's ... Average. And if your kid is advanced, you don't hold them back.

My two youngest kids were born in September. Each wound up skipping a grade. Neither has missed out in any childhood fun. Yes, you are insane.

I think you might misunderstand me. Or i was not clear. I made a reference to being middle class and having an older sibling to show that since we are focused on our older child's education and extracurriculars, DD has been an indirect beneficiary without having any direct instruction herself. For instance she plays the same piano pieces her brother does - he practices for 5 minutes a day and she sit at the piano for up to an hour a day trying to master them. When we work on word problems and mental math with him, she's chimes in with the correct answers. She insists on going to the pool everyday and has started swimming independently (though not as fast as) to match up to her brother.

She is just so driven and competitive that I was wondering out aloud whether an additional year in a play based environment (without the older kids of a montessori classroom) would just calm her down a bit. After reading all your responses I am also veering towards finding another way for her to be more creative, engage in more social activities. She's great hanging out with older kids, but struggles to initiate friendships with peers who are less verbal than she is.


Perhaps like many of you who were advanced/driven as kids she will figure it out over time.

I was a very driven kid for just the same reason -- older sibs. Turned out fine! I would have been bored out of my mind if my parents had held me back a year. (female)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My title for the thread I admit, is misleading. This is not about holding back a child because she is advanced. Being advanced is a symptom of her nature. Driven, not balanced and not interested in creative role playing as much as achievement. Advanced kids become average and vice versa - I get it. However, being well adjusted and balanced will hopefully contribute to good friendships and long term happiness along the way.

I agree with you though. Holding her back in Pre-K may backfire in other ways and be compounded by her need to overachieve in every situation.

I should have asked how to get her to just be a child and calm the f*$k down

I'm going to give you the Carolyn Hax answer to any question involving "How can I get [somebody] to [change themselves in the way I want]?" Namely: you can't.

Besides, she is a child, and so therefore by definition she is being a child, even if she is not doing the things you think being a child involves. If I were you, I would think about my unwillingness to accept my daughter as the person she is.