How would you do if you were in my situation?
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Anonymous
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My very close cousin's destination wedding is in Dec and it will cost us (2 adults and 2yr old) around 3700 to 4000. We don't have extra money to spend but my cousin's sister offer us to lend money from her Line of Credit with very low interest so we can be there with the family. But DH disagreed with this.
My DH wants to go back to school for 2nd career because he is so sick of his current job (both the company and the type of job) in January. The school will be 1 year. This will drop our HHI significantly ( I made about 10K more than DH). I want to send DD to preschool which costs around 1200 a month in Sep next year (not this year) so started to save money but to this time, only have half of annual tuition. I don't want to touch this money until DD go to preschool. DH doesn't really know about this plan because he is happy with the home-based daycare DD is going that cost us only 500/month but this daycare lady only care for feeding, nap, potty and outside play time. Questions: 1.Should I go to the cousin's wedding with line of credit money from cousin's sister? If so, how do I get DH on board with this. If not, how to tell my cousin we are not going? 2.Should I stick with my plan of sending DD to preschool even if DH doesn't agree? It seems to me that DH that only see financial point here. He doesn't seem to think kid at this age needs to go to school. He wants to wait for DD to go to Public Kindergarten instead of preschool because it is free. Anyone here has kid go straight to K? 3.What I want is to go to the wedding and have DD to preschool. Is it possible in my situation? |
Anonymous
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Sheesh. Why not talk all this through with your DH?
I wouldn't go to the destination wedding in this circumstance. See what DH thinks about preschool. Maybe just send you to the wedding, but not likely. |
Anonymous
| You go alone or skip it. |
Anonymous
| Do not go to the wedding. You can't afford it with all these other important priorities. Tell your cousin you love her and will be with her in spirit but can't afford the trip. I had a destination wedding and many people I am close to couldn't make it. You have to expect that when you choose to have a destination wedding. Thank your other cousin for the generous loan offer, but it would be very irresponsible for both of you to take on that debt to fund travel, especially when you don't know if you are going to have as much income to repay it. |
Anonymous
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Stay your ass home -- you cannot afford to go.
not rocket science |
Anonymous
+1. This isn't even a question. The loan is still your money ultimately and doesn't/shouldn't factor in in any positive way. You'd go into debt to go to a wedding?? People who have destination weddings absolutely know that a lot of people won't be able to/want to go. |
Anonymous
| OP here. Thanks for inputs. You all are right about the wedding. I should stay home considering other priorities. I just hate the feeling that I will miss the important family even and it may just happen once. But other priorities are more important. Btw, I just listed the events in timely order. I don't favor one over the others in the order for those may think that way. |
Anonymous
| Send your regrets and a nice note with a gift. This is what being a grown up is about. |
Anonymous
| The credit means just paying it later and you make no mention of more money (only less, actually!) being available down the line. If your cousin felt having every one with her for her wedding was an important priority, she would have never planned something required such high expense for all guests. It's clearly more important to you than to her so don't feel guilty about declining. |
Anonymous
Don't go to the wedding, but seriously consider the preschool. That's an investment in your child's future. Does it have to be that one, though? I feel your pain, having looked at the prices, but maybe there is a city/county program that can also prepare your DD that doesn't cost as much? Then you find a day care provider that can pick her up after if it doesn't offer affordable aftercare? |
Anonymous
+10000 |
Anonymous
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[quote=Anonymous
Don't go to the wedding, but seriously consider the preschool. That's an investment in your child's future. Does it have to be that one, though? I feel your pain, having looked at the prices, but maybe there is a city/county program that can also prepare your DD that doesn't cost as much? Then you find a day care provider that can pick her up after if it doesn't offer affordable aftercare? I did but other schools are not any better in price and location. They are about the same or higher and the location is further . For example, one school shows fee as $220/week + 125/week for after and before care ( we definitely need this) I didn't contact all of the school in acceptable area but for a numbers of school I contacted, I haven't found one that is cheaper or cheaper enough to beat the location. (like $10 cheaper but out of the way and more driving of 30 mins or more depend on traffic) . What will it be if the DC skip preschool and go to K instead? |
Anonymous
| You only go if you can pay for it with cash on hand- not on credit. You can't, so you do not go. That is the risk any couple makes when they decide to have a destination wedding. |
Anonymous
| Go alone, if you can swing it. |
Anonymous
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Just my two cents of course, but I would go to the wedding alone - and on my own dime. I wouldn't want to be in debt, and especially not a family member.
I would keep your 2 yr old in daycare another year - save the money, and put her in preschool one year later. I think a year of preschool before kindergarten is plenty for any child that has educated, engaged parents in the home and a good daycare or nanny situation. Really. |