How long should a 12 year old spend in the shower?
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Anonymous
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She has short hair and doesn't shave her legs yet. We have a wonderful rain shower head which, I admit, is conducive to longer showers than the typical shower head. But I've watched her a few times and she stands under it having dreams of being a fairy dancing under a waterfall and the time gets away from her. We bought a special timer for her and I think 7 minutes is plenty long. Suggestions?
When I was her age my father would bang on the water pipes outside with a wrench to let me know I was taking too long. he would yell "You either have the cleanest hair in town or the dirtiest hair in town". |
Anonymous
| Why are you watching your 12 yo DD taking a shower? And why are you timing her showers? Your dad banging on the pipes when you were a kid probably didn't help and affected you negatively?? |
Anonymous
| Uhhhh...7 minutes? Maybe a max of 20? |
Anonymous
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Watching your 12 year shower is well...what pedophiles do.
and a 7 minute shower is far too short. i agree with a 20 minute limit. |
Anonymous
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I think timing a shower for a 12-year-old sounds like oppressive micro-management. Kids' lives can be stressful, too, and maybe she just enjoys her alone time under the water. Just talk to her about water conservation, etc. and try to enlist her help.
Rather than time her, can you install a more water-efficient shower head? My husband installed a cut-off valve on the shower head so you can turn off the water while you're soaping up or washing your hair and turn it back on to rinse while maintaining the temperature. |
Anonymous
| Has it occurred to you that she might masturbate there? |
Anonymous
| Flashing back to my teenage years and being yelled at for the same thing. Pick your battles, op. I'd let this one go. |
Anonymous
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7 minutes is an insanely short period of time to shower. Timed 7 minutes? I imagine that's what prison is like! Your father certainly wasn't banging on the pipes after 7 minutes. If he was, that's not a normal childhood if you're living in a region that doesn't have water conversation problems or not living on a tight budget and needed to watch water and water heating bills. If the whole family is sharing one bathroom, it would make sense, but you didn't indicate that.
My husband takes 15 to 20 minute showers. He has short hair and doesn't shave his legs either. He's not wasting time in there either. He lathers up, gets everything clean, and rinses very well. My showers are about 15 minutes when I'm not shaving. I never paid attention to how long my children took, but they were more towards the 20 to 30 minute range. Let her be a fairy dancing under a waterfall. She's a child. It's her childhood. Wake her up earlier if she needs more time. |
Anonymous
| 10 minutes is plenty to get clean. If she is shaving, give her more time. I knock in the door and tell my son to finish up after about 10 mins. We have 3 other people in the house to shower and they don't want to take a cold one. |
Anonymous
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OP, you should not watch your 12 year old shower. That's really, really terrible of you.
Watch a 6 year old? Ok. 12? Hell no. If you want to give her a timer (I'd say set to 15 minutes - maybe 20 on weekends), then give her a timer, and let her keep it on the bathroom counter. But you really should not be so obsessively concerned about this. Let your daughter shower in peace. For a lot of people, a shower is their private, alone, relaxing time. |
Anonymous
Totally agree with this. Ten minutes is more than enough time. I'll start tapping on the door reminding them to "leave some water for the fishies" if they stay in longer than about ten minutes. It's wasteful. It's not very environmentally conscious. It's expensive. And I hate not having hot water when I get in the shower. |
Anonymous
| This is not worth haggling over. Parent of a 17 yo. |
Anonymous
I take 5 minute showers in the morning before work and that's plenty of time if all you do is get clean. I don't find it relaxing to stand under the shower so all I do is...well actually shower  However. If nobody else needs to take a shower, if your daughter doesn't need to go anywhere, if there is no rush and the time is there...let her be. She clearly enjoys taking a shower for whatever reason and that is not by any means a bad thing. If she loves 20 minute showers plan it into her evening routine! I know I LOVED taking showers nd baths when I was a kid. It couldn't be long enough! Now as an adult I get in and out as quickly as I can 
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Anonymous
| 20 minute showers is a lot of water! i'd bang on the door at 7 minutes and tell her to finish up so that she could be done by 10 |
Anonymous
| Leave her alone- sheesh. |