Honest answers: How often do you really fight?

[Anonymous]

I'm not talking about minor disagreements or a short word here or there. I'm talking about hour-plus, raised voices, hurt feelings fights.

[Anonymous]

Not often. A couple of times in 10 years. I hate fighting. Makes me feel sick and he feels that way too.

No shouting though, and we do not call each other names.

[Anonymous]

Never.
Seriously, never.
We both value not fighting. We have disagreements, of course, but we're committed to hearing each other out. Sometimes I will say "I am listening and I hear what you say, but I just can't understand it. Can we come back to this?" or he will say "I'm sure that you have a reason just like I have a reason. There's probably a third answer, but we're not there yet."
If it is really important, we revisit it. But half the time, we forget that we were even having a dispute. We're very alike though so there isn't much that we differ on and I blame all of his bad habits on spending his formative years in Uncle Sam's Motorcycle Club.

[Anonymous]

Never. Not once.

Not that we haven't had tense discussions and some angry words but never anything like what you describe. Never raised voices. Never any arguments as long as an hour.

We both have mild personalities.

[Anonymous]

We don't do raised voices or fights either.

I'm more hot tempered than DH so sometimes I'll temporarily pause a disagreement and say we have to come back to it because I don't want to lose my temper, but that's as close as we get. Usually after we have both had some time away from an issue neither of us cares anymore/one of us has found a suitable compromise.

Should say we don't have kids though, as I imagine we'd fight some with that added stress/source of contention.

[Anonymous]

We've been together almost 10 years, and so far, never.

We'll argue about something and either resolve or agree to disagree or decide "you know what, this clearly means a lot to you, so let's go with your idea" and can usually do that within five minutes. Sometimes it takes an hour or so to get over the passion that bubbled up in that five minute argument, but rarely.

[Anonymous]

Never the way you describe. We disagree, we get frustrated, but we never yell. My husband is the most mellow, laid back guy on the planet--not sure what it would take to make him yell. I like it that way

[Anonymous]

Never. We learned how to constructively fight. Dh has a tendency to get more heated than me and if it gets heated we both cool off and back off. We never get to the point of yelling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never the way you describe. We disagree, we get frustrated, but we never yell. My husband is the most mellow, laid back guy on the planet--not sure what it would take to make him yell. I like it that way

+1

If my husband ever yelled at me, I would be really scared. It would be very out of character.

[Anonymous]

Two times in nine years. Otherwise very harmonious. My neighbors though fight like this all the time. Lots of yelling and slamming doors. They have a baby on the way. It makes me sick because the baby can hear and sense these things in the womb.

[Anonymous]

... Plus I wonder how bad it will get after the baby is born. I mean if they can't handle things now, how will they cope when they are parents?

[Anonymous]

Once every 6 months. The fights don't change. They just compound.

[Anonymous]

Been together 14.5 years, we celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary tonight. We have had two fights. In both cases, we made up about an hour or two later and apologized and came up with a plan to remedy the hurt feelings and issues before going to bed. We generally do approach each other and talk out problems without fighting.

[Anonymous]

We've had a few huge blow outs in our 8 1/2 yr marriage. We always work through them and don't let more than 24 hours pass before getting through it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not often. A couple of times in 10 years. I hate fighting. Makes me feel sick and he feels that way too.

No shouting though, and we do not call each other names.

Forgot to add, never hour long fights. Our disagreement might be 5 or 10 minutes long. Then we take a break from each other. We might revisit the issue and still disagree or make up. If we disagree, we take another break. We usually resolve the issue within a couple of hours. The longest time would be three days.

Whats impt is we want to work it out and bring back the harmony. Some couples seem to thrive on fighting like cats and dogs.