Honest answers: How often do you really fight?

[Anonymous]

Once every 6 month. They are not long - maybe 20 mins? DH is a good person, husband and father but sometimes he gets real cranky and impatient. If I wait it out 5 mins he snaps out of it and apologizes, but sometimes I don't want to wait 5 mins, damn it, and we get into a loud fight.

Otherwise we have a good marriage.

[Anonymous]

Daily

[Anonymous]

Maybe every other year or so? More at the start of our relationship, but it has been a number of years now. I don't miss fighting, but I do miss the intensity and closeness that came with that level of honesty and connection. We don't fight anymore, but we're not really as close as we used to be either...

[Anonymous]

Maybe once a month and usually when I am PMSing. I will admit I am usually the one who starts them and I'm usually the who yells, but they never last very long. They usually end with my DH being a goof ball and asking if I'm still mad at him. Often times I will go to sleep still frustrated but then wake up in the morning realizing just how small our problems really are. Even with these fights our relationship is great.

[Anonymous]

Never. 14 years.

[Anonymous]

Seriously? Folks never fight or have passionate disagreements where emotions run deep? I suspect there are a lot of repressed DHs here...

[Anonymous]

A couple times in the first 10 yrs of marriage, none in the next 10. Problem solving, communication, maturity, etc...kicked in.

[Anonymous]

A couple times a year with hurt feelings and some amount of raised voices though I can't handle yelling for a full hour - I walk away before it gets to that point. Of course I come back rather immediately but sometimes we just need a break to bring the volume back down so we can actually listen to each other.

We have little spats more often but that's usually at the annoyed level rather than deep hurt feelings. More importantly, there's love pretty much every day.

[Anonymous]

Never. I have good friends who have loud disagreements often but otherwise a seemingly great marriage. It's just how they role. Those disagreements don't involved mean-spirited personal attacks though.

[Anonymous]

Often back in 2009. 5-6 times a week. My husband was drinking (which I knew about) and drugging (which I didn't). He stopped. And things have been pretty smooth since. No blowups.

[Anonymous]

Probably 3-6 times a year. We are both hot tempered and argumentative (with each other) by nature. It's no big deal. We yell a bit, have a cooling off day, and it is fine. Usually related to PMS or major financial troubles, which hasn't happened in a while.

We are happy.

[Anonymous]

Never. Hour long raised voices?? That will do some serious damage to the kids. Get yourselves some therapy.

[Anonymous]

An hour long with raised voices? Very, very rarely. Maybe a couple of times a year, and even then, really doubt we would argue like that for an hour.

We might have a heated discussion every couple of months that lasts close to that long because we're both talkers and sometimes get ridiculously hung up on semantics, or ridiculously determined to work something out rather than just give up.

Neither of us likes to shout, and we've never (in 13 years) called each other names or spoken really harshly to one another.

[Anonymous]

Never. We disagree sometimes, but we don't yell or scream at each other. We discuss issues that we disagree about like adults. I have no patience for people who act like that.

Married 28 years.

[Anonymous]

a lot in the first 3 years of our marriage, less so now. In part the stresses have decreased (we had a couple bad years, between baby and toddler, DH's job issues, family and money stress) and in part because we have learned to communicate better and went to counseling. DH can still get aggressive at times when he's stressed, but I mostly don't respond and that often nips things in the bud.

Most of my previous relationships were very harmonious, so the fighting was relatively new and scary for me.