would this have hurt your feelings?

[Anonymous]

I have been dating a guy for about three months now. We are not exclusive but have been intimate. He has been training for a long strenuous bike race that was today. We have been talking about this race for a few weeks now. His race was this morning and I was thinking of him all day. I had not heard from him by 5:00pm so I sent him a text asking how the race went. He replied that it went well and that he finished (he was very proud). I wanted to hear all about it so I asked if I could call him. He responded that he needed to rest and needed down time - he did not want to talk to me. OK, so I my feelings were really hurt. Am I crazy to feel this way?

[Anonymous]

Did he say 'I don't want to talk to you?' Or did he say 'I'm beat'?

[Anonymous]

If this was a one time thing then I wouldn't take it personally. If he's done this to you before, then maybe you aren't a priority in his life or maybe you're too clingy.

[Anonymous]

Would rub me the wrong way but nor a huge deal. Why are you not exclusive?

[Anonymous]

OP is being silly.

He just finished a "strenuous bike race." Give him a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would rub me the wrong way but nor a huge deal. Why are you not exclusive?

I am recently divorced and don't want to be exclusive now. It did rub me the wrong way. I texted him about 3 hours after the race so it is not like he just finished. I was excited for him and wanted to hear the details. Now I feel like an idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would rub me the wrong way but nor a huge deal. Why are you not exclusive?

I am recently divorced and don't want to be exclusive now. It did rub me the wrong way. I texted him about 3 hours after the race so it is not like he just finished. I was excited for him and wanted to hear the details. Now I feel like an idiot.

You two are not exclusive. Maybe he met someone at or after the race. Last thing he would be wanting to do is text you now.

[Anonymous]

You're crazy OP. You're going to make him ride right on out of your life if you keep being clingy. Get a life outside of him. You're not his wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would rub me the wrong way but nor a huge deal. Why are you not exclusive?

I am recently divorced and don't want to be exclusive now. It did rub me the wrong way. I texted him about 3 hours after the race so it is not like he just finished. I was excited for him and wanted to hear the details. Now I feel like an idiot.

Sharing every detail at your request is what exclusive couples do. If you're fine not being exclusive then don't expect exclusive things. He was probably sharing the details with other people.

[Anonymous]

Some people aren't talkers. I'm one of those and have to be in a certain frame of mind to talk to just about anyone, except my husband who gets to the point and hangs up

[Anonymous]

OP, men are very cautious when a woman does not want to be exclusive because they know you can easily find someone else. He's not going to share now.

[Anonymous]

You're sending mixed signals. I would only call a guy to share if we were exclusive.

[Anonymous]

I think it's fine for the OP to be excited and to ask him to talk. I also feel that it was reasonable for him to demur for now.

I don't understand why OP feels "like an idiot." This seems like a non-issue to me. I also don't think it matters whether or not you are exclusive. I can see a guy having a similar reaction either way, without any underlying meaning beyond him being tired.

OP seems super insecure to me. Just relax and quit second guessing what was probably an honest reaction from the guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would rub me the wrong way but nor a huge deal. Why are you not exclusive?

I am recently divorced and don't want to be exclusive now. It did rub me the wrong way. I texted him about 3 hours after the race so it is not like he just finished. I was excited for him and wanted to hear the details. Now I feel like an idiot.

I'm going to assume you've never complete a long, strenuous race. Racing is more than just physical. Your mind is just as exhausted as your body. If he needs to chill out and relax, back off. I never wanted to see or talk to people after a marathon, including my SO and family. I certainly wouldn't be going out of my way to chat up a girl I'm casually sleeping with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would rub me the wrong way but nor a huge deal. Why are you not exclusive?

I am recently divorced and don't want to be exclusive now. It did rub me the wrong way. I texted him about 3 hours after the race so it is not like he just finished. I was excited for him and wanted to hear the details. Now I feel like an idiot.

I'm going to assume you've never complete a long, strenuous race. Racing is more than just physical. Your mind is just as exhausted as your body. If he needs to chill out and relax, back off. I never wanted to see or talk to people after a marathon, including my SO and family. I certainly wouldn't be going out of my way to chat up a girl I'm casually sleeping with.

ok, got it. the last time he raced he texted me right away. I suppose he is losing interest.