would this have hurt your feelings?

[Anonymous]

21:22 here again.

Thee is so much bad, and possibly sinister, "advice" in this thread.

OP, please just ignore most of the people here. Bottom line: you didn't do anything wrong, and have no idea what is intentions are. Stop stressing about it and just focus on your own life for now. If he's interested, he'll let you know.

[Anonymous]

would it hurt my feelings? Yes but I am sensitive that way.

Did he mean anything by it? Probably not unless he has been acting distant or cold otherwise then you might have reason for concern

My hunch is he was exhausted and just wanted to rest and not rehash the day. I know i am this way, sometimes you need to be in the mood or be on your A game to really speak about something important in the most enthusiastic way possible.

[Anonymous]

I would be hurt if he actually used those exact words "I do not want to talk to you..." because that wording has a sting to it.

If he meant to say that he just finished the race and that he wanted to rest and he didn't feel like talking right now, then that is 100% understandable.

Imagine how you would feel if you just completed a race.

The last thing you would want to do is have a conversation w/ANYONE about the details of the race.

What you would most likely want most to do is rest and have a cold drink, then maybe a cold shower.

[Anonymous]

Plus sharing the details is really only something I would feel like doing with my partner, especially if I was exhausted from the race. A FWB or non-exclusive relationship is different, there just isn't the same emotional connection or reciprocity. Early on when things are brand new, then maybe - but it's not sustainable. You are not boyfriend/girlfriend, by your own choice.

[Anonymous]

I can't wrap my head around this. You don't want to be in a relationship, but you expect him to act as if you are and have become hurt that he didn't? And you seem hurt that he might want to end things? What's in it for him, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't wrap my head around this. You don't want to be in a relationship, but you expect him to act as if you are and have become hurt that he didn't? And you seem hurt that he might want to end things? What's in it for him, OP?

From what the OP said, it sounds like they are friends who ventured into more them that. OP, it could be that he doesn't want to risk developing feelings for you so he is keeping a distance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't wrap my head around this. You don't want to be in a relationship, but you expect him to act as if you are and have become hurt that he didn't? And you seem hurt that he might want to end things? What's in it for him, OP?

From what the OP said, it sounds like they are friends who ventured into more them that. OP, it could be that he doesn't want to risk developing feelings for you so he is keeping a distance.

OP here. We met online. It didn't take us long to sleep together (4 or 5 dates) and I didn't have the 'talk' with him before I did sleep with him so now I don't know where I stand with him. If I could take that back, I certainly would. I am guarding my feelings for him because of the fact he might just think of me just a sleeping buddy. I know that he is still active on the online dating site. I don't want to sleep with someone who is sleeping with other people at the same time so I know I have to ask him about where we stand soon (akward). Anyway, the point is. . . . . we talked a lot about the race and I was hurt he didn't want to talk to me about it afterwards. I understand that he was probably exhausted though.

the latest: He called me this afternoon and left a message on my phone saying he was exhausted but is feeling better today.

[Anonymous]

Ah, so you have developed some feelings for him. Is this the fellow who went away on vacation recently? I'm remembering a similar post (yes I'm in here too much! )

[Anonymous]

"OP here. We met online. It didn't take us long to sleep together (4 or 5 dates) and I didn't have the 'talk' with him before I did sleep with him so now I don't know where I stand with him. If I could take that back, I certainly would. I am guarding my feelings for him because of the fact he might just think of me just a sleeping buddy. I know that he is still active on the online dating site. I don't want to sleep with someone who is sleeping with other people at the same time so I know I have to ask him about where we stand soon (akward). Anyway, the point is. . . . . we talked a lot about the race and I was hurt he didn't want to talk to me about it afterwards. I understand that he was probably exhausted though."

You sound exhausting. I'm a woman and I think you need to do men a favor and get out of the dating scene until you've gotten yourself together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"OP here. We met online. It didn't take us long to sleep together (4 or 5 dates) and I didn't have the 'talk' with him before I did sleep with him so now I don't know where I stand with him. If I could take that back, I certainly would. I am guarding my feelings for him because of the fact he might just think of me just a sleeping buddy. I know that he is still active on the online dating site. I don't want to sleep with someone who is sleeping with other people at the same time so I know I have to ask him about where we stand soon (akward). Anyway, the point is. . . . . we talked a lot about the race and I was hurt he didn't want to talk to me about it afterwards. I understand that he was probably exhausted though."

You sound exhausting. I'm a woman and I think you need to do men a favor and get out of the dating scene until you've gotten yourself together.

But I thought you didn't want to be exclusive, so which is it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. We met online. It didn't take us long to sleep together (4 or 5 dates) and I didn't have the 'talk' with him before I did sleep with him so now I don't know where I stand with him. If I could take that back, I certainly would. I am guarding my feelings for him because of the fact he might just think of me just a sleeping buddy. I know that he is still active on the online dating site. I don't want to sleep with someone who is sleeping with other people at the same time so I know I have to ask him about where we stand soon (akward). Anyway, the point is. . . . . we talked a lot about the race and I was hurt he didn't want to talk to me about it afterwards. I understand that he was probably exhausted though.

the latest: He called me this afternoon and left a message on my phone saying he was exhausted but is feeling better today.

I'm trying to understand what you want from him (maybe you don't know yourself?). From what I gather, you don't want to be exclusive, but you don't want him (or yourself I presume) to sleep with other people. So it would be okay if he dates other women, but he can't bed them. Is that correct?
Yes, having the "where are we going" discussion is awkard and difficult. But it's worth it for someone you care about and want a future with. It sounds as though you don't know what you want or maybe you want your cake and to eat it too.

[Anonymous]

Can we seriously take this to the teen section? This thread is beyond annoying. You all sound like a bunch of 5-year-olds. You understand that, right?? Who honestly cares that the guy that's not into you other than for having sex finally got the energy to call you back. Is this honestly an issue worth this amount of discussion? Jeez.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he really was into you I think he would find the time to talk on the phone briefly.

Why would he be really into her? She doesn't want anything long term and doesn't want to be exclusive. Basically she wants a fuck buddy or at most friends with benefits. The last thing he should be is be really into her - just going to lead to pain and heartache for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he really was into you I think he would find the time to talk on the phone briefly.

Why would he be really into her? She doesn't want anything long term and doesn't want to be exclusive. Basically she wants a fuck buddy or at most friends with benefits. The last thing he should be is be really into her - just going to lead to pain and heartache for him.

Yup.

[Anonymous]

He would do himself right by focusing on the other women he is dating online. With all the choices out there, why would he possibly need this mixed up bim? For the love.