Wedding etiquette question - skipping mass and going to reception only?

[Anonymous]

What say you DCUM? I'm not religious and the 2 hour Catholic mass is incredibly painful for me. Is it ok to skip the Mass and go to the reception?

[Anonymous]

Don't ask us. Ask the couple. I would be hurt that my friend/family member skipped the ceremony but wanted to party. However, I'm not the bride & groom in question. They may not care.

[Anonymous]

Nope. That's incredibly rude. The reception is for wedding guests.

[Anonymous]

It shouldn't be two hours. Mass is generally less than one hour. Weddings add maybe 20-30 minutes to the Mass.

That being said, I don't remember who attended my wedding ceremony beyond immediate family.

[Anonymous]

I don't like mass either and I wouldn't skip it. The bride and groom chose to commit to each other under the auspices of that religious tradition so I would want to be there to witness it. The reception is just a party. If I was the bride in this scenario I would find it weird that a friend missed my vows but came to party (unless it was an emergency etc).

[Anonymous]

Not attending because Mass is painful for you is kinda rude IMO. And I'm also not at all religious.

I think there are times when skipping the ceremony might be justified, but thinking the couple's religion is boring and long winded is not one of them.

[Anonymous]

You are right, I am too sheepish to ask.

Fwiw the couple is doing a vow renewal with a full catholic mass.

I probably should go in just not looking forward to it.

[Anonymous]

It would be very rude to skip it. Expect it to last an hour.

[Anonymous]

It's a vow renewal? Good grief.

[Anonymous]

Catholic vow renewals should not take more than an hour. I would personally skip the mass if I could get away with it and I'm Catholic.

[Anonymous]

It would be very rude to skip it, and to ask the couple if they mind. Expect it to last an hour.

[Anonymous]

What kind of friend are you? And what kind of person even asks a question like this?

Your friend is getting MARRIED. Most people consider this one of the most special days of their lives, and they often wish to share it with people who matter to them. If you cannot be bothered to watch them exchange vows, you should decline the invitation and skip the reception.

As to the PP who suggested asking the couple, if I were the bride and you asked me that question, our friendship would be over.

[Anonymous]

Almos everything in the Catholic church is one hour. I would be shocked if it really goes two.

[Anonymous]

http://www.ewtn.com/library/liturgy/zlitur440.htm

'Ordo benedictionis coniugum intra Missam, occasione data anniversarii Matrimonii adhibendus.' This appendix recommends that on the main anniversaries of marriage, e.g., 25th, 50th, or 60th, a special remembrance of the sacrament may be held within Mass. This includes inviting the couple to renew before God their commitment to live a holy married life. The 'renewal' then includes the exchange of a formula between the couple: 'Blessed are you, Lord, for by your goodness I took N. as my wife/husband.' And then both together pray a prayer of renewal. A blessing of the rings may also follow. And following the Our Father, there is a special blessing which the priest bestows. Thus, it would seem that the universal Church has indeed proposed such a renewal of commitment to married life, though the terms 'renewal of vows' — as you pointed out — is avoided."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't like mass either and I wouldn't skip it. The bride and groom chose to commit to each other under the auspices of that religious tradition so I would want to be there to witness it. The reception is just a party. If I was the bride in this scenario I would find it weird that a friend missed my vows but came to party (unless it was an emergency etc).

+1

Grow up, OP. Seriously.