Met the boyfriend's parents and OMG...
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Anonymous
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My boyfriend's parents invited the two of us to visit over the weekend at their house in CA. He told me they were both successful people but he didn't tell me that they live like this. The guesthouse we're in has got to be 4000 sq ft and the whole property basically runs like a 5-star hotel with kitchen staff, housekeepers, waiters, etc. I'm not exactly from a dirt-poor background but this is out of my comfort zone.
Are any of you in a relationship where one of you comes from a vastly different socioeconomic background and how does it affect your relationship (if at all)? |
Anonymous
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Just cause they spend it doesn't mean they HAVE it.
I felt a little strange because my ILs had more money than my parents, but they weren't like your BF's parents. Great time for you to discuss what his expectations are with regards to your future. If he's expecting that kind of life, can you both afford it? Are they happily married? Did he have a happy childhood? Money isn't everything, but being poor sucks! |
Anonymous
Um, marry him, stat. 
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Anonymous
My thoughts exactly! |
Anonymous
| Seriously he sounds perfect and downplayed his wealth. Keeper! |
Anonymous
Thanks for the response. They seem to have a great family dynamic and he talks about how great his childhood was and is still close to childhood friends. His parents are a couple of awesome funny people who seem to have accomplished a lot of things in their lifetime and not just made a bunch of money. I'm guessing they're happily married but what would I know? 
I don't know if he expects that lifestyle because neither of us lives anything like they do. He does have very refined taste which I've notice on a few occasions when we've gone to buy wine or look for furniture. I can't afford such a life but maybe he can and I just don't know anything about it? I guess time will tell. |
Anonymous
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I do come from a dirt poor background complete with welfare, stealing food, etc. My boyfriend is very wealthy, both from his parents and from his own business.
When I pulled him aside the first time to frantically ask for tips he looked at me like I had two heads. "I don't know WHAT you're talking about..." but then introduced me to his cousin who was cool enough to understand and explain everything I needed to know. It is over 20 years later and that cousin and I are best friends. When he and I decided we were Very Serious, he said "what's mine is yours" and really practiced it. There were many years where he got me a $1k purse for Christmas and I got him a $15 super sentimental gift. Any time a relative mentioned anything about money he was very firm about shutting them down. |
Anonymous
Hell no, this conversation all depends on where they are in their relationship and should't be triggered by his family's wealth. OP, I grew up very middle class--and not the DC perception that middle class is private school and beach house. My DH came from much more money than my family. But really what it boils down to is who people are not how much money they have. So don't let the difference freak you out. |
Anonymous
That's really great! Where's that cousin when I need him?! 
Congrats on the 20+ years. Wishing you many more happy years |
Anonymous
| Marry him ASAP, and then move out to California. |
Anonymous
| not that big of a deal OP - it would be more awkward if the roles were switched and the guy couldn't provide the same lifestyle you were accustomed to growing up with. |
Anonymous
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Congratulations!! Jackpot!!
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Anonymous
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Never like in the way that you have.
Sounds like a nice bonus to me. Hopefully in the future, you will get married + have lots of babies w/this guy, and in the future you or your children will never have to worry about a darn thing! That's the "Good Life" I have always thought about in my dreams whenever I close my eyes...Lucky for you, you don't have to close yours. Congrats!
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Anonymous
| *and |
Anonymous
| Wow, so many gold diggers on here. |