Wanting to go back to work after 10 years...

[Anonymous]

It was a mutual decision to quit my job when DC#1 was born. I was a teacher and knew I did not have enough mental energy to teach other people's children and be a good mom to my own kids.
Fast forward DC#2 is finishing 2nd grade and I want to go back to work. I've done the volunteering and PTA stuff as well as trained for and finished a few marathons in the top 10% of my age group because I needed some challenge during the day. Several of my good friends have moved away and others are back to work FT. I'm lonely, bored and need new challenges.

I recently applied for an administrative assistant job and am waiting to hear after 2 good rounds of interviews. DH is not being very supportive as the job really won't allow me to take 2 hours off for a school assembly, walk DC to school or go on field trips and DH thinks since I was so involved at school with DC#1, DC#2 deserves the same. The job would also require some sacrifice on DH part. This job I applied for has set hours so he would have to do the morning drop off and get to work about 9:15. plus attend school activities like class plays and a field trip here or there. Evenings - especially on sports nights and with homework would be more chaotic so he would have to step up then, too. And until I built up leave, he would be the SAHP on sick days...things he's really not interested in doing as it cuts into his work time.

I'm feeling somewhat resentful as I feel I sacrificed my career for 10 years, he can surely give three years and go on the Daddy track - until #2 is in middle school.

He says that since our HHI is > $1M a year, there's no reason for me to work. He just doesn't understand my desire to do something for myself after 10 years of focusing on children.

Please don't tell me to volunteer at some non-profits. I'm actually quit shy and find it hard to be constantly walking into a room/activity of new people. I'm not a leader - I'm a helper. This job is in a small office with less than 20 people and it would probably help me shyness.

Clearly we don't need the money but I want some sort of career (not a job working at Target or Gymboree). Am I being ridiculous? Is it worth it?

[Anonymous]

I don't think there's anything wrong with what you want, but I highly doubt your husband is going to happily skip off to field trips and kiddie duty the way he'd need to without taking his resentment out on you.

To bridge this gap I think you should look for a part time teaching job. I know a few teachers who do job splits (2.5 days a week), and you could find other administrative jobs that are part time.

[Anonymous]

Have you considered going back part-time?

[Anonymous]

Wow, your household income is a million and you want to be an administrative assistant?

Damn.

I would stay home in your shoes!

[Anonymous]

Since your family has such high income, can you outsource? You could hire a part time nanny for the morning or evening or both.

[Anonymous]

Why not apply as a substitute teacher? Then you can choose the assignments you want (not on field trip days) and still work on a school schedule.

[Anonymous]

What will the position pay?
39.5% of your paycheck will go to taxes.... something to consider.

[Anonymous]

2nd the sub suggestion

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What will the position pay?
39.5% of your paycheck will go to taxes.... something to consider.

Actually more than 39.5% would go to taxes, since that is just the federal rate for earned income greater than $450k. She'll also have payroll taxes and state taxes. (And she won't get much back for payroll taxes since she'll probably take spousal SS benefits -- but that is a whole other issue.) I don't think that though that taxes are going to be the deciding factor here though since OP wants to go back to work. I am a SAHP of a high earner and as much as he loves our family he would not want to daddy track right now in his mid-40's so I could take a work as an admin asst. Big earners usually have big egos even if they are otherwise terrific people. We would hire a nanny -- even if that would bring my income down to nearly zero after childcare and taxes (we did this before when I wanted to work). That does mean that a parent might not be available for field trips but the kids would adjust. You'd both have to be okay with that though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What will the position pay?
39.5% of your paycheck will go to taxes.... something to consider.

Actually more than 39.5% would go to taxes, since that is just the federal rate for earned income greater than $450k. She'll also have payroll taxes and state taxes. (And she won't get much back for payroll taxes since she'll probably take spousal SS benefits -- but that is a whole other issue.) I don't think that though that taxes are going to be the deciding factor here though since OP wants to go back to work. I am a SAHP of a high earner and as much as he loves our family he would not want to daddy track right now in his mid-40's so I could take a work as an admin asst. Big earners usually have big egos even if they are otherwise terrific people. We would hire a nanny -- even if that would bring my income down to nearly zero after childcare and taxes (we did this before when I wanted to work). That does mean that a parent might not be available for field trips but the kids would adjust. You'd both have to be okay with that though.

This plus, generally speaking, 1M jobs do not really have a "daddy track". You are asking a lot of your DH so you can take what sounds like a very inflexible, entry level job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What will the position pay?
39.5% of your paycheck will go to taxes.... something to consider.

Actually more than 39.5% would go to taxes, since that is just the federal rate for earned income greater than $450k. She'll also have payroll taxes and state taxes. (And she won't get much back for payroll taxes since she'll probably take spousal SS benefits -- but that is a whole other issue.) I don't think that though that taxes are going to be the deciding factor here though since OP wants to go back to work. I am a SAHP of a high earner and as much as he loves our family he would not want to daddy track right now in his mid-40's so I could take a work as an admin asst. Big earners usually have big egos even if they are otherwise terrific people. We would hire a nanny -- even if that would bring my income down to nearly zero after childcare and taxes (we did this before when I wanted to work). That does mean that a parent might not be available for field trips but the kids would adjust. You'd both have to be okay with that though.

This plus, generally speaking, 1M jobs do not really have a "daddy track". You are asking a lot of your DH so you can take what sounds like a very inflexible, entry level job.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What will the position pay?
39.5% of your paycheck will go to taxes.... something to consider.

Actually more than 39.5% would go to taxes, since that is just the federal rate for earned income greater than $450k. She'll also have payroll taxes and state taxes. (And she won't get much back for payroll taxes since she'll probably take spousal SS benefits -- but that is a whole other issue.) I don't think that though that taxes are going to be the deciding factor here though since OP wants to go back to work. I am a SAHP of a high earner and as much as he loves our family he would not want to daddy track right now in his mid-40's so I could take a work as an admin asst. Big earners usually have big egos even if they are otherwise terrific people. We would hire a nanny -- even if that would bring my income down to nearly zero after childcare and taxes (we did this before when I wanted to work). That does mean that a parent might not be available for field trips but the kids would adjust. You'd both have to be okay with that though.

This plus, generally speaking, 1M jobs do not really have a "daddy track". You are asking a lot of your DH so you can take what sounds like a very inflexible, entry level job.

+1000

Another +1. I would look for something part time, as other posters have suggested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since your family has such high income, can you outsource? You could hire a part time nanny for the morning or evening or both.

This might be the best plan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What will the position pay?
39.5% of your paycheck will go to taxes.... something to consider.

She isn't going back for the money. Stupid post.

[Anonymous]

There are plenty of admin assistant jobs that have hours more suited to your situation. Keep looking.