Wanting to go back to work after 10 years...

[Anonymous]

I think it's weird that you made a point to mention how fast you ran your marathons (within top 10% of your age group). What's the point of that? What's the point of going back to work to be an admin assistant? What's the point of going back to work at all, in your situation? What is it you're after?

[Anonymous]

I can't imagine many spouses who make $1m/year can/would be willing to step back so that the other person can find an admin assistant job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's weird that you made a point to mention how fast you ran your marathons (within top 10% of your age group). What's the point of that? What's the point of going back to work to be an admin assistant? What's the point of going back to work at all, in your situation? What is it you're after?

If you have ever trained and run a marathon, this is something to be VERY proud of! It shows goal setting and perseverance. WTG!

[Anonymous]

My mother is waiting for my father to retire so they can start living in retirement. He's nearing 75 and has no intention to stop working. This has turned her into a bitter and bored woman...

[Anonymous]

Thank you for all your responses. It gave me a lot to think about.

I guess I'm looking for some adult contact. In the 10 years I've been home, I've done a small business - Ebay with over 10,000 sales, I've held various positions in my home owner's association for 6 years, been an officer in the DC's PTA. I'm even back to studying the instrument I played up until grad school.

Although I have a master's degree plus 60 credits (I'm so DONE with school!), I don't have my teaching license anymore and would have to return to graduate school again. Plus with common core and constant testing, the teaching profession is not appealing to me anymore. I know an Instructional Assistant or substitute position would be a better fit for everyone in my family, I'm honestly burned out and done with children.

Maybe I should just go out a buy a Harley and call this a mid life crisis a few years late!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for all your responses. It gave me a lot to think about.

I guess I'm looking for some adult contact. In the 10 years I've been home, I've done a small business - Ebay with over 10,000 sales, I've held various positions in my home owner's association for 6 years, been an officer in the DC's PTA. I'm even back to studying the instrument I played up until grad school.

Although I have a master's degree plus 60 credits (I'm so DONE with school!), I don't have my teaching license anymore and would have to return to graduate school again. Plus with common core and constant testing, the teaching profession is not appealing to me anymore. I know an Instructional Assistant or substitute position would be a better fit for everyone in my family, I'm honestly burned out and done with children.

Maybe I should just go out a buy a Harley and call this a mid life crisis a few years late!

To me, this sounds more like you want something to GROW rather than to contribute and move on. Right now you're just filling your time and maybe that's not for you. I would really explore volunteering. You can turn that into a career. It seems like you don't want to work at a store because you don't want to work at a store. There's no "career" difference between that and being an Administrative Assistant except one is in a mall and one is at an office. The office must be more appealing to you because you say you're not outgoing. Really, though, don't Admins need to be? Isn't that part of the job?

I'd wait until my younger child is in Middle School and then do something for myself. You may be getting antsy, but really it's only a few years and then you can do what you want and not have to go through this.

[Anonymous]

I don't blame you husband, and I think you are asking too much. Hire a sitter to do those things with the kids or stay home.

[Anonymous]

What about teaching a few community college classes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine many spouses who make $1m/year can/would be willing to step back so that the other person can find an admin assistant job.

This. OP, I understand your desire to work, but this particular job doesn't sound ideal for your situation. I'd think a part-time job that allowed you to work while your kids were in school would be more ideal. Also, having been an administrative assistant in a smaller office, I wonder how someone who describes themselves as shy would be able to perform the job effectively, unless you would be working in a back office with limited duties.

In your shoes, I would absolutely stay at home and devote my time to a few of my favorite charities/organizations! You will get the satisfaction of being needed and doing good work, without the headaches of being someone's lower-level employee.

[Anonymous]

Op maybe you could teach online? A course per semester or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's weird that you made a point to mention how fast you ran your marathons (within top 10% of your age group). What's the point of that? What's the point of going back to work to be an admin assistant? What's the point of going back to work at all, in your situation? What is it you're after?

If you have ever trained and run a marathon, this is something to be VERY proud of! It shows goal setting and perseverance. WTG!

Obviously. But it has nothing to do with her wanting to go back to work after 10 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would either start my own business (think of a hobby you like and make a business out of it) or go back to graduate school to pursue a career that you could do part-time on your own schedule. Like becoming a licensed professional counselor or something. You can have your own part-time practice. It does not pay a ton as a career, but you don't need the money and you would be helping people.

I would not work a full-time job in your situation. I really don't think it will give you fulfillment you desire. I think you need to look at work in a different light. You have the opportunity to take the time to do meaningful work on a part-time basis because you don't NEED a full time job. Your DH is right...all your earnings would basically be going to the tax man...so find something you want to do for yourself and do that. Being an administrative assistant is not going to give you a sense of meaning and it is just going to put more $ in Uncle Sam's pocket. Also, I would not ask DH to adjust his role...he is making all of that money. You have to be financial equals (or almost) for him to make that kind of sacrifice.

This would be what I'd do in your shoes.

Agreed x3

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can't change your mind after 10 years? Jeez. Word to potential SAHMs--apparently if you decide to stay home when your kids are little, you are giving up your right to renegotiate at any point in the future.

Yes, it's ironic, SAHMs. Usually they jump all over you if you continue to stay home when your kids are school aged. What was that about you got the deal you wanted during the cushy years?! What did I read?!! The young years are the toughest. If I survive and still want to stay at home when my kids are school aged, I will be ecstatic. But this woman wants something more! So, OP, maybe 2 other options you didnt think of: Very very high end sales. You get people time but on your terms. Or a high end medical // spa type place. You can dress up, interact with people. Any other ideas like this? I'm thinking she wouldn't do well reporting up to a horrible middle manager, but maybe high end clientele on a flexible schedule?

[Anonymous]

PP if you think either job you mentioned equates to short hours with no experience you've been out too long. You all really think you'll stay home and then get some sort of flexible high paying career because you want something more?? The world is not about what you want!

tell me again about that super high paying flexible job!

I hope you have an "in" with some good old fashioned nepotism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for all your responses. It gave me a lot to think about.

I guess I'm looking for some adult contact. In the 10 years I've been home, I've done a small business - Ebay with over 10,000 sales, I've held various positions in my home owner's association for 6 years, been an officer in the DC's PTA. I'm even back to studying the instrument I played up until grad school.

Although I have a master's degree plus 60 credits (I'm so DONE with school!), I don't have my teaching license anymore and would have to return to graduate school again. Plus with common core and constant testing, the teaching profession is not appealing to me anymore. I know an Instructional Assistant or substitute position would be a better fit for everyone in my family, I'm honestly burned out and done with children.

Maybe I should just go out a buy a Harley and call this a mid life crisis a few years late!

Yes, I can understand wanting to make and have adult friendships that don't focus on a bond as a parent. So my suggestions are that being an admin isn't the only way to meet that goal. Could you join a running club or locate running partners to encourage them? As weird as it sounds, posting at a runners store (like Pacers) might well yield you some quality adults. Based on what you're saying you want (adult contact), the graduate school, eBay and instrument lessons may have been fulfilling for skills attainment, but may not have accomplished your real goal: genuine friendships with adults. Some PTA volunteering is heavily admin and some is more social. Could you volunteer for a responsibility that is more social? Look for Meetups? Seems to me like you're a plucky accomplished human being and there's no reason you have to be an admin to have adult conversations with adults you like and share commonalities with!