If you lie about your hometown, why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do people really do this?

When people ask me where I'm from, usually in a casual setting, I tell them where I grew up. I don't go into an elaborate story about how I was born overseas and immigrated here as a preteen but then grew up in my hometown because I assume people are just making small talk and don't actually care.

A very small subset of people do it, and I find it fascinating. Sometimes I have had to ask a few times to figure out where someone actually grew up. It's strange

And then these loons say you lie. They lack the inability to have any imagination that anyone did anything differently than they did.

I was born in a foreign country, moved to several others, bounced about, in middle school moved to a small city in America. Moved for college and law school. My experience isn’t uncommon and I’m small talk, I say I’m from where I live. Who has this kind of time.

That's where you say you're from. You could preface it with, "we moved around a lot, but lived in ____ the longest". But my guess is that the "small town" name doesnt sound as cool as wherever else you lie and claim to have grown up in.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in Toronto but when I was 18 my family moved to Victoria. I’m 50 now and whenever people ask where I’m from I say Victoria. This never occurred to me to be a lie! I’ve gone back to Toronto once since I moved away because I don’t like snow or snobby people, so I really feel like I’m from Victoria because that’s where all my family live now. Currently live in DC. Not sure if this is lying but I don’t identify with Toronto people and I’ll never go back!

[Anonymous]

I think this is so weird and I never know how to answer this question. I was born in the US to French parents, moved to Japan when I was 2-9, lived in Nice (France) 9-21, lived in Paris 23-25, lived in Italy 25-30, California after that. Where would you say you’re from???? I always say Paris, since my parents are French and still live there and I’ve been going there for the past 20 years to visit them. Am I lying?? Seems weird to say Japan or Nice since I haven’t been there since I moved away, and Paris is ‘home’ because my parents and siblings all love there.

[Anonymous]

* all live there

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this is so weird and I never know how to answer this question. I was born in the US to French parents, moved to Japan when I was 2-9, lived in Nice (France) 9-21, lived in Paris 23-25, lived in Italy 25-30, California after that. Where would you say you’re from???? I always say Paris, since my parents are French and still live there and I’ve been going there for the past 20 years to visit them. Am I lying?? Seems weird to say Japan or Nice since I haven’t been there since I moved away, and Paris is ‘home’ because my parents and siblings all love there.

Nice, which is a lovely, beautiful place anyway. I always think this question "Where did you grow up?" is like "where did you spend your formative childhood years?"

I think also, in cases like yours, "I grew up in Tokyo and Nice, France" would be perfectly acceptable and not add a ton of time or anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate the question Where Are You From. As an Asian American growing up in the 70s and 80s it was a poorly phrased ignorant way of asking What Is Your Ethnicity? I would answer the question ‘I grew up in a small suburb outside Boston’. And the uncultured pasty white person would say No Where are you FROM FROM?? Still get it today from the same kind of people.

Being of a particular ethnicity myself, I used to get this question a lot too. I know academia now considers it a microagression. But I personally do not. I appreciate that people are interested in my heritage or to learn about me.

Exactly.

Would you prefer people make assumptions?

Would you prefer people not care or acknowledge?

I live in MoCo where we have a very diverse Spanish speaking population. I hate it when people assume we have lots of Mexicans living here. Guess what? We don’t. We have newly arrived immigrants from dozens of Spanish speaking countries alongside first generation, second generation, etc.

I hope we can move away from this micro aggression stuff and determine how to have polite, friendly conversations about such stuff. Right now, it feels like we can’t ask.

Bold above is racist.

Why is this racist. They didn't say all whites are uncultured.

Also---you can't be racist against whites because racism has the element of a power structure within society behind it. Prejudiced against whites, sure. Not racist.

Nope. Describing any race by their skin color is racist. Try that sentence out with another color inserted and see how that reads.

Nope. You missed the point COMPLETELY. American society has an inherent power structure in favor of whites. The easiest example to understand is if you look at the same crime: black people get longer sentences than whites. Documented by many studies.

So racism is a separate thing from prejudice and stereotyping. I'm white- if someone doesn't like me for my skin color then nothing happens except my personal feelings might get hurt. NBD. If a white person doesn't like a black man and they feel entitled to call the cops and make up a story about them being "threatened" then people can end up DEAD.

And what you said above in the bolded is so ridiculous I have to think you are a fragile snowflake who doesn't want to face hard truths like racism and privilege and thinks we should be "colorblind."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because my home town in a crime filled cess pool and people tend to avoid me if I tell them where I am from when they first meet me. Eventually, once they have gotten to know me, and know I won't cut them, I will talk about it.

Newark?

Compton?

Those are literally the only two cities with nationally recognized negative connotations.

I'm the pp. My hometown has locally recognized negative connotations, particularly in Virginia. It doesn't have to be "national."
When I moved further south or west, it wasn't a problem.

When I move to within one or two states near Virginia, it is an issue. Have literally had coworkers refuse to talk to me, because they hated my hometown so much when stationed there. Hint Hint. After I opened up how much I hated it too, we usually became friendly. That's when I learned that it's best not to talk about specifically where I am from until I get to know others better.

I suspect you are projecting.

Haha, no.
Remember when I went to college and was asked at a party where I was from, the two guys my friend and I were flirting with literally laughed in my face, said "I'm sorry," and walked away. That's the first time I realized it was a liability.

Not sure there is as much hate now as there was back in the day. Even when I moved a few states away and was honest with my answer, usually people would honestly say how much they hated living there or being stationed there. Usually I'm not specific, and just say Hampton Roads or Virginia. Those usually have positive responses.

Tell us where it is. Crowd source the 2021 reaction here.

I will guess Norfolk, VA

That or Newport News. It's like saying Lorton. People believe there is still a prison there.

Pretty close
It's Portsmouth.

I've lived in Virginia for close to 20 years, and I've never heard of any negative connotations for the Norfolk/Newport News area. I think "Big naval base, nice beaches nearby, and the place I took the Virginia bar exam."

What's the negative reputation being referenced upthread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do people really do this?

When people ask me where I'm from, usually in a casual setting, I tell them where I grew up. I don't go into an elaborate story about how I was born overseas and immigrated here as a preteen but then grew up in my hometown because I assume people are just making small talk and don't actually care.

A very small subset of people do it, and I find it fascinating. Sometimes I have had to ask a few times to figure out where someone actually grew up. It's strange

And then these loons say you lie. They lack the inability to have any imagination that anyone did anything differently than they did.

I was born in a foreign country, moved to several others, bounced about, in middle school moved to a small city in America. Moved for college and law school. My experience isn’t uncommon and I’m small talk, I say I’m from where I live. Who has this kind of time.

That's where you say you're from. You could preface it with, "we moved around a lot, but lived in ____ the longest". But my guess is that the "small town" name doesnt sound as cool as wherever else you lie and claim to have grown up in.

What are you talking about? I didn’t live there the longest. I lived there for six years. I have no issue with it, but why would that be where I’m from when I’m literally a person born in a different country? Why are you making these arbitrary rules about it and then getting annoyed when nobody else knows wtf they are? This is so stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do people really do this?

When people ask me where I'm from, usually in a casual setting, I tell them where I grew up. I don't go into an elaborate story about how I was born overseas and immigrated here as a preteen but then grew up in my hometown because I assume people are just making small talk and don't actually care.

A very small subset of people do it, and I find it fascinating. Sometimes I have had to ask a few times to figure out where someone actually grew up. It's strange

And then these loons say you lie. They lack the inability to have any imagination that anyone did anything differently than they did.

I was born in a foreign country, moved to several others, bounced about, in middle school moved to a small city in America. Moved for college and law school. My experience isn’t uncommon and I’m small talk, I say I’m from where I live. Who has this kind of time.

That's where you say you're from. You could preface it with, "we moved around a lot, but lived in ____ the longest". But my guess is that the "small town" name doesnt sound as cool as wherever else you lie and claim to have grown up in.

What are you talking about? I didn’t live there the longest. I lived there for six years. I have no issue with it, but why would that be where I’m from when I’m literally a person born in a different country? Why are you making these arbitrary rules about it and then getting annoyed when nobody else knows wtf they are? This is so stupid.

And maybe no matter where we are from we don't want an intrusive, judgemental busy body in our business

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because my home town in a crime filled cess pool and people tend to avoid me if I tell them where I am from when they first meet me. Eventually, once they have gotten to know me, and know I won't cut them, I will talk about it.

Newark?

Compton?

Those are literally the only two cities with nationally recognized negative connotations.

I'm the pp. My hometown has locally recognized negative connotations, particularly in Virginia. It doesn't have to be "national."
When I moved further south or west, it wasn't a problem.

When I move to within one or two states near Virginia, it is an issue. Have literally had coworkers refuse to talk to me, because they hated my hometown so much when stationed there. Hint Hint. After I opened up how much I hated it too, we usually became friendly. That's when I learned that it's best not to talk about specifically where I am from until I get to know others better.

I suspect you are projecting.

Haha, no.
Remember when I went to college and was asked at a party where I was from, the two guys my friend and I were flirting with literally laughed in my face, said "I'm sorry," and walked away. That's the first time I realized it was a liability.

Not sure there is as much hate now as there was back in the day. Even when I moved a few states away and was honest with my answer, usually people would honestly say how much they hated living there or being stationed there. Usually I'm not specific, and just say Hampton Roads or Virginia. Those usually have positive responses.

Tell us where it is. Crowd source the 2021 reaction here.

I will guess Norfolk, VA

That or Newport News. It's like saying Lorton. People believe there is still a prison there.

Pretty close
It's Portsmouth.

I've lived in Virginia for close to 20 years, and I've never heard of any negative connotations for the Norfolk/Newport News area. I think "Big naval base, nice beaches nearby, and the place I took the Virginia bar exam."

What's the negative reputation being referenced upthread?

The wrong color people live there. That whole area, including VA beach, has a crime problem compared to the rest of Virginia. Correlation is causation for many people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do people really do this?

When people ask me where I'm from, usually in a casual setting, I tell them where I grew up. I don't go into an elaborate story about how I was born overseas and immigrated here as a preteen but then grew up in my hometown because I assume people are just making small talk and don't actually care.

A very small subset of people do it, and I find it fascinating. Sometimes I have had to ask a few times to figure out where someone actually grew up. It's strange

And then these loons say you lie. They lack the inability to have any imagination that anyone did anything differently than they did.

I was born in a foreign country, moved to several others, bounced about, in middle school moved to a small city in America. Moved for college and law school. My experience isn’t uncommon and I’m small talk, I say I’m from where I live. Who has this kind of time.

That's where you say you're from. You could preface it with, "we moved around a lot, but lived in ____ the longest". But my guess is that the "small town" name doesnt sound as cool as wherever else you lie and claim to have grown up in.

What are you talking about? I didn’t live there the longest. I lived there for six years. I have no issue with it, but why would that be where I’m from when I’m literally a person born in a different country? Why are you making these arbitrary rules about it and then getting annoyed when nobody else knows wtf they are? This is so stupid.

And maybe no matter where we are from we don't want an intrusive, judgemental busy body in our business

Some people are taking this topic way too seriously. Asking people where they're from in a place as transient as the DC area is a pretty harmless conversation starter. I don't really expect your entire life story. A sentence or two is more than enough, then we can turn to talking about our jobs, as every conversation in DC inevitably does.

Feel free to lie, if you think it makes you more interesting or whatever. But, unless you were born and raised in a scientific research base in Antarctica or something, most people will forget what you said within a half hour.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because my home town in a crime filled cess pool and people tend to avoid me if I tell them where I am from when they first meet me. Eventually, once they have gotten to know me, and know I won't cut them, I will talk about it.

Newark?

Compton?

Those are literally the only two cities with nationally recognized negative connotations.

I'm the pp. My hometown has locally recognized negative connotations, particularly in Virginia. It doesn't have to be "national."
When I moved further south or west, it wasn't a problem.

When I move to within one or two states near Virginia, it is an issue. Have literally had coworkers refuse to talk to me, because they hated my hometown so much when stationed there. Hint Hint. After I opened up how much I hated it too, we usually became friendly. That's when I learned that it's best not to talk about specifically where I am from until I get to know others better.

I suspect you are projecting.

Haha, no.
Remember when I went to college and was asked at a party where I was from, the two guys my friend and I were flirting with literally laughed in my face, said "I'm sorry," and walked away. That's the first time I realized it was a liability.

Not sure there is as much hate now as there was back in the day. Even when I moved a few states away and was honest with my answer, usually people would honestly say how much they hated living there or being stationed there. Usually I'm not specific, and just say Hampton Roads or Virginia. Those usually have positive responses.

Tell us where it is. Crowd source the 2021 reaction here.

I will guess Norfolk, VA

That or Newport News. It's like saying Lorton. People believe there is still a prison there.

Pretty close
It's Portsmouth.

I've lived in Virginia for close to 20 years, and I've never heard of any negative connotations for the Norfolk/Newport News area. I think "Big naval base, nice beaches nearby, and the place I took the Virginia bar exam."

What's the negative reputation being referenced upthread?

The wrong color people live there. That whole area, including VA beach, has a crime problem compared to the rest of Virginia. Correlation is causation for many people.

That's just an odd thing to think about when meeting somebody. And it's even stranger to scoff at someone for being from a higher crime area.

Weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because my home town in a crime filled cess pool and people tend to avoid me if I tell them where I am from when they first meet me. Eventually, once they have gotten to know me, and know I won't cut them, I will talk about it.

Newark?

Compton?

Those are literally the only two cities with nationally recognized negative connotations.

I'm the pp. My hometown has locally recognized negative connotations, particularly in Virginia. It doesn't have to be "national."
When I moved further south or west, it wasn't a problem.

When I move to within one or two states near Virginia, it is an issue. Have literally had coworkers refuse to talk to me, because they hated my hometown so much when stationed there. Hint Hint. After I opened up how much I hated it too, we usually became friendly. That's when I learned that it's best not to talk about specifically where I am from until I get to know others better.

I suspect you are projecting.

Haha, no.
Remember when I went to college and was asked at a party where I was from, the two guys my friend and I were flirting with literally laughed in my face, said "I'm sorry," and walked away. That's the first time I realized it was a liability.

Not sure there is as much hate now as there was back in the day. Even when I moved a few states away and was honest with my answer, usually people would honestly say how much they hated living there or being stationed there. Usually I'm not specific, and just say Hampton Roads or Virginia. Those usually have positive responses.

Tell us where it is. Crowd source the 2021 reaction here.

I will guess Norfolk, VA

That or Newport News. It's like saying Lorton. People believe there is still a prison there.

Pretty close
It's Portsmouth.

I've lived in Virginia for close to 20 years, and I've never heard of any negative connotations for the Norfolk/Newport News area. I think "Big naval base, nice beaches nearby, and the place I took the Virginia bar exam."

What's the negative reputation being referenced upthread?

The wrong color people live there. That whole area, including VA beach, has a crime problem compared to the rest of Virginia. Correlation is causation for many people.

That's just an odd thing to think about when meeting somebody. And it's even stranger to scoff at someone for being from a higher crime area.

Weird.

I assume they worry about hiding the good silverware.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because my home town in a crime filled cess pool and people tend to avoid me if I tell them where I am from when they first meet me. Eventually, once they have gotten to know me, and know I won't cut them, I will talk about it.

Newark?

Compton?

Those are literally the only two cities with nationally recognized negative connotations.

I'm the pp. My hometown has locally recognized negative connotations, particularly in Virginia. It doesn't have to be "national."
When I moved further south or west, it wasn't a problem.

When I move to within one or two states near Virginia, it is an issue. Have literally had coworkers refuse to talk to me, because they hated my hometown so much when stationed there. Hint Hint. After I opened up how much I hated it too, we usually became friendly. That's when I learned that it's best not to talk about specifically where I am from until I get to know others better.

I suspect you are projecting.

Haha, no.
Remember when I went to college and was asked at a party where I was from, the two guys my friend and I were flirting with literally laughed in my face, said "I'm sorry," and walked away. That's the first time I realized it was a liability.

Not sure there is as much hate now as there was back in the day. Even when I moved a few states away and was honest with my answer, usually people would honestly say how much they hated living there or being stationed there. Usually I'm not specific, and just say Hampton Roads or Virginia. Those usually have positive responses.

Tell us where it is. Crowd source the 2021 reaction here.

I will guess Norfolk, VA

That or Newport News. It's like saying Lorton. People believe there is still a prison there.

Pretty close
It's Portsmouth.

I've lived in Virginia for close to 20 years, and I've never heard of any negative connotations for the Norfolk/Newport News area. I think "Big naval base, nice beaches nearby, and the place I took the Virginia bar exam."

What's the negative reputation being referenced upthread?

The wrong color people live there. That whole area, including VA beach, has a crime problem compared to the rest of Virginia. Correlation is causation for many people.

That's just an odd thing to think about when meeting somebody. And it's even stranger to scoff at someone for being from a higher crime area.

Weird.

I assume they worry about hiding the good silverware.

I've always thought that was weird. It's not like people from bad neighborhoods have more dinner parties than everyone else so why would they steal nice silverware?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because my home town in a crime filled cess pool and people tend to avoid me if I tell them where I am from when they first meet me. Eventually, once they have gotten to know me, and know I won't cut them, I will talk about it.

Newark?

Compton?

Those are literally the only two cities with nationally recognized negative connotations.

I'm the pp. My hometown has locally recognized negative connotations, particularly in Virginia. It doesn't have to be "national."
When I moved further south or west, it wasn't a problem.

When I move to within one or two states near Virginia, it is an issue. Have literally had coworkers refuse to talk to me, because they hated my hometown so much when stationed there. Hint Hint. After I opened up how much I hated it too, we usually became friendly. That's when I learned that it's best not to talk about specifically where I am from until I get to know others better.

I suspect you are projecting.

Haha, no.
Remember when I went to college and was asked at a party where I was from, the two guys my friend and I were flirting with literally laughed in my face, said "I'm sorry," and walked away. That's the first time I realized it was a liability.

Not sure there is as much hate now as there was back in the day. Even when I moved a few states away and was honest with my answer, usually people would honestly say how much they hated living there or being stationed there. Usually I'm not specific, and just say Hampton Roads or Virginia. Those usually have positive responses.

Tell us where it is. Crowd source the 2021 reaction here.

I will guess Norfolk, VA

That or Newport News. It's like saying Lorton. People believe there is still a prison there.

Pretty close
It's Portsmouth.

I've lived in Virginia for close to 20 years, and I've never heard of any negative connotations for the Norfolk/Newport News area. I think "Big naval base, nice beaches nearby, and the place I took the Virginia bar exam."

What's the negative reputation being referenced upthread?

The wrong color people live there. That whole area, including VA beach, has a crime problem compared to the rest of Virginia. Correlation is causation for many people.

That's just an odd thing to think about when meeting somebody. And it's even stranger to scoff at someone for being from a higher crime area.

Weird.

I assume they worry about hiding the good silverware.

I've always thought that was weird. It's not like people from bad neighborhoods have more dinner parties than everyone else so why would they steal nice silverware?

To sell/pawn duh
Please note I don't believe any of this I'm just explaining the thoughts of paranoid pearl clutchers