Would you get an amnio? Ambiguous genitalia at 20 week US
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Anonymous
| OP, just wanted you to know you are doing amazing and Adrian couldn't have asked for the more perfect mama <3 |
Anonymous
| Amazing name, and that’s my awesome aunt’s name (in our culture it’s for both sexes so you picked a cool name and an utilitarian name!). How’s the baby doing in terms of sleep nursing and play time haha fill us in on the sweet details! |
Anonymous
The baby is doing great! Nursing is going well, play time right now mostly consists of hanging out on my lap while I binge-watch Downton Abbey, so I'd say that's going great too. Sleep is . . . ehhh. About what you'd expect from a newborn, though less consistent than my son was at this age. He was giving us 5-hour stretch at the beginning of the night pretty much from the beginning, Adrian is very much not doing that. Fortunately, what I'm lacking in sleep this time I'm getting back in sheer adorableness, as the baby seems to have a more expressive/friendly face than my oldest did at this age, and also really enjoys staring lovingly into our eyes/faces like ALL THE TIME. Since Adrian gives such good gaze it's easier to forgive the sleep. 
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Anonymous
So glad to hear from you, OP. Glad you and Adrian are in love. 
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Anonymous
You just made my heart melt... |
Anonymous
| Congratulations! |
Anonymous
| OP...thanks so much for the update. I wish everyone on this thread could get together and throw you an awesome party. You sound like such a courageous and kind mom. Congratulations and Welcome Adrian. |
Anonymous
Me, too. I was smitten with my second, and he's still such a love, almost six years later. Hugs, OP! |
Anonymous
| I missed that OPs baby was born -- welcome Adrian! Crying in a Starbucks over the sweet news. Sending you all the love. |
Anonymous
| Checking in,OP. Hows it going?! How’s big sibling adjusting? Everyone adjusting well? |
Anonymous
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XXXooo
Just read the thread after awhile. All of the best wishes to you OP and sweet baby A. |
Anonymous
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Happy to read this thread.
As someone who loves someone who is intersex I think it’s great you are raising the child as your child and not worrying about gender. Please continue to respect A’s autonomy and anatomy. So many intersex folks have had their lives ruined by unnecessary surgery. |
Anonymous
Big brother is doing great! Very sweet, still very excited. We're all doing ok, settling into life as a family of four. For me in particular, I'm not healing from the birth as well as I'd like (2nd degree tear), but I suppose that's a problem for another thread. The baby continues to be adorable, beautiful, SO EXPRESSIVE. I swear me and my husband aren't just a couple of besotted parents (ok maybe a little), Adrian really does smile at us!
The exact diagnosis is still undetermined, presumably we'll get it after the mini-puberty testing next month. That said, based on what we know so far the doctors' current consensus is to recommend raising the baby as male; that's what the urologist told us anyway. For some reason, hearing that things are most likely headed that direction seems to have broken my brain, even though it's what I expected, because now when I look at Adrian all I see is a little girl. Today I even slipped up and said "her" without thinking. So I guess there's still some latent denial or maybe just general processing that's happening for me. I'm trying not to dwell on it though, since where Adrian is concerned whatever gender we choose is just an educated guess anyway. I mean, if someone's gender is assigned because their parents and a team of doctors literally got together and made it up . . . that's just not a real thing, and certainly not something to get hung up on or attached to one way or the other. My husband is a math guy, and accurately described it as the doctors basically telling us Adrian probably rounds to male. :shrug: At this point, I think we're treating "sex of rearing" as nothing more than picking pronouns and deciding M or F on official forms. We didn't plan to raise our kids with strict gender norms anyway, but this really drives that home. As all this has been going on, I've felt compelled to be more vocal about the existence of intersex people and the issues they face. I work in media, so I'm thankfully in a position where I'm well-situated to draw more attention, and I want to make use of the platform to hopefully help create a better world, but there's still the consideration of the baby's privacy. I'm not comfortable shouting from the rooftops "my baby is intersex!" because who knows if that's what they'd want - though I'm grateful for the parents who have felt comfortable being open in public, I just don't think I'll be one of them. But maybe if I can use my position as an editor to offer a space for intersex voices, that's still something. I also like to think this thread is its own little piece of advocacy, in a way, that can help the hypothetical future mom who gets a surprise at their 20 week ultrasound, goes to Google, and arrives here. I guess I'm just musing right now, but I should actually be asleep - gotta get in a few hours before the 1am boob smorgasbord. More updates to come.
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Anonymous
| OP, I have been following this thread from the beginning and want to thank you for the respectful and understanding way you are handling this. I have a loved one who was born with a similar condition 40 years ago, and suffice it to say the medical advice was at odds with what you're doing and the parents, who didn't know any better, listened to the doctors. I'm so grateful that your child won't go through any of that. |
Anonymous
| Out of curiosity (and I’m sure this has been covered so apologies!), but is there a way to test the baby’s chromosomes to determine their sex? |