Why do people feign friendliness?

Anonymous
I don't understand people who will say, unsolicited, let's get together for coffee and talk. I throw out a date and they say it works. Then when I try to pin down a time that will work for them on that day, they ignore me (whether by text or email). I just figure they didn't mean what they said about wanting to get together. I'm not sure why they initiated the get together in the first place. Getting together would have been nice, but I wouldn't have initiated the get together in the first place with these people. Thoughts? Has this happened to you?
Anonymous
fuck you
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:fuck you


Name a time and place.
Anonymous
Just kidding on that PP. You're right- people shouldn't offer to get together if they don't intend to follow thru. They probably feel like you should have a closer relationship but don't want to put in any effort.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:fuck you


Name a time and place.


Explicit Forum. Now.
Anonymous
YES! This is quite common in NW DC. The whole, "we should have coffee or a drink!" line. I used to take it seriously and would get hurt when no one ever followed through or even ignored emails/texts. Now I'm just used to it.
Anonymous
It's the same in parenting circles when you say, "we should get the kids together sometime."
Anonymous
Also annoying when people say stop by anytime or don't be a stranger and then get annoyed when the neighbor stops by when they're out walking the dog.
Anonymous
This annoys me as well. Though I have a new friend that will say "do you really mean that it are you just saying it?" She is a breath of fresh air!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:fuck you

Why
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I don't understand people who will say, unsolicited, let's get together for coffee and talk. I throw out a date and they say it works. Then when I try to pin down a time that will work for them on that day, they ignore me (whether by text or email). I just figure they didn't mean what they said about wanting to get together. I'm not sure why they initiated the get together in the first place. Getting together would have been nice, but I wouldn't have initiated the get together in the first place with these people. Thoughts? Has this happened to you?

I hate it too! Can't that just say "no"????
Anonymous
I think some people like others to perceive them as friendly and like the feeling of being pursued. Both these things enhance their self-image and may enhance their perceived status. Others just find themselves exceptionally busy, I suppose, and aren't willing to be direct. To me, the former type isn't worth investing the time and emotional energy required to develop a real friendship. If someone's just exceptionally busy, though, I set my expectations low and roll with whatever comes along.
Anonymous
I always mean it when I say it.

If I don't follow through, it is because the other party does something meanwhile that makes me not want to socialize with them.
Anonymous
I always mean it when I say it, but I don't really have control of my life right now (demanding job, child with special needs) and can't usually follow through when the time comes and someone asks about getting together. I guess what I have learned is that I should stop saying it until things calm down.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I always mean it when I say it.

If I don't follow through, it is because the other party does something meanwhile that makes me not want to socialize with them.


like what?
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