struggling with decision- why so ugly here?

[Anonymous]

I am one of those parents that apparently lots of you love to hate- struggling with the decision of where to send my child next year. Yes I understand it's a "nice problem to have" - but it's still the thing I am struggling with at the moment, trying to make the best decision for my child based on what I know of her thus far. She's only 8, I don't know who she will be in 2 or 3 years or what will be right for her then and so I've been very conflicted- which is not a comfortable feeling. I have to imagine that every parent out there has had similar moments and I cannot for the life of me understand why this site always gets overrun by the loudest and least supportive voices out there. I logged in to hear advice/opinions of other parents weighing similar considerations and am shocked by how nasty some of these strings become. I understand that there is a great social and moral debate going on out there about public school education but seriously- when you see the forum subject, the topic is pretty clear. I'm appalled by how parents are so quick to attack and mock other parents. I'm reminded of how many years ago, struggling with an infant who would not breastfeed, I logged onto this site to ask a question and was promptly attacked by hysterical, angry people who questioned my love for my child if I would even consider "quitting". Not quite the support I was looking for then and 8 years later....... I'm not even going to try this time. I have to say that I'm wondering how concerned I should be about what my child is going to face in school from people whose parents think this behavior is okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have to say that I'm wondering how concerned I should be about what my child is going to face in school from people whose parents think this behavior is okay.

It is only the beginning. But what you see here in this forum is not absolutely 100% reflective of life in the classroom.

You may find that there are some AAP harpies in the classroom. But you will also find other parents just like you -- trying to make the best decision for their child based on what they know and the information they have at that time.

My oldest is in high school now, and no, my kids were not at the super-competitive AAP Centers but we saw plenty of the not-so-great behavior parents. We did our best to make out way through it, used some opportunities as those so-called teachable moments (including when a parent urged a team to cheat in a state competition so the team could go on to nationals), and tried to keep some balance in this uber-competitive Must Have 15 AP classes and all exams with 5s culture.

Please know that there extremes and just do your best to aim for the middle.

[Anonymous]

There's a couple trolls that don't like AAP and they post frequently. It's actually kind of creepy how much time they spend here being mean. Fortunately it's not like that in the real world where we've never seen the kind of meanness there is on an anonymous forum like this.

Changing schools (If your base school is not a center) is a big deal that can be harder if friends or siblings are not moving. But it's a great program. It is a tough decision but the schools are so inconsistent that it's hard to generalize.

[Anonymous]

We were struggling with the same decision- but just faxed our decision to go to the center just today. We do feel (and hope) this is the right decision.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Our base school does offer level IV but I hear from others that the center is better. We can debate all night long if this is a choice that should be offered to parents but it currently is and I don't know why I should feel embarrassed or defensive for weighing the best choices available for my child (just wish I knew what that was)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's a couple trolls that don't like AAP and they post frequently. It's actually kind of creepy how much time they spend here being mean. Fortunately it's not like that in the real world where we've never seen the kind of meanness there is on an anonymous forum like this.

Changing schools (If your base school is not a center) is a big deal that can be harder if friends or siblings are not moving. But it's a great program. It is a tough decision but the schools are so inconsistent that it's hard to generalize.

So, you call people you don't agree with "trolls"? I call them people who don't share my opinion but are still entitled to theirs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a couple trolls that don't like AAP and they post frequently. It's actually kind of creepy how much time they spend here being mean. Fortunately it's not like that in the real world where we've never seen the kind of meanness there is on an anonymous forum like this.

Changing schools (If your base school is not a center) is a big deal that can be harder if friends or siblings are not moving. But it's a great program. It is a tough decision but the schools are so inconsistent that it's hard to generalize.

So, you call people you don't agree with "trolls"? I call them people who don't share my opinion but are still entitled to theirs.[/quote

Ah- not OP but you just demonstrated a troll behavior- please don't derail this OPs thread??? I guess you'd be making her point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Our base school does offer level IV but I hear from others that the center is better. We can debate all night long if this is a choice that should be offered to parents but it currently is and I don't know why I should feel embarrassed or defensive for weighing the best choices available for my child (just wish I knew what that was) [/quote

I am 2155- we also have a level IV- the center school per presentations and kid feedback presents an approach that would work for our DC. At least we think- it is a change so emotionally we are worried but more confident on the match of teaching for what we heard to our child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Our base school does offer level IV but I hear from others that the center is better. We can debate all night long if this is a choice that should be offered to parents but it currently is and I don't know why I should feel embarrassed or defensive for weighing the best choices available for my child (just wish I knew what that was) [/quote

I am 2155- we also have a level IV- the center school per presentations and kid feedback presents an approach that would work for our DC. At least we think- it is a change so emotionally we are worried but more confident on the match of teaching for what we heard to our child.[/quote

?? I am 2155 and did not post this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a couple trolls that don't like AAP and they post frequently. It's actually kind of creepy how much time they spend here being mean. Fortunately it's not like that in the real world where we've never seen the kind of meanness there is on an anonymous forum like this.

Changing schools (If your base school is not a center) is a big deal that can be harder if friends or siblings are not moving. But it's a great program. It is a tough decision but the schools are so inconsistent that it's hard to generalize.

So, you call people you don't agree with "trolls"? I call them people who don't share my opinion but are still entitled to theirs.[/quote

Ah- not OP but you just demonstrated a troll behavior- please don't derail this OPs thread??? I guess you'd be making her point.

Disagreeing with someone is NOT troll behavior!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a couple trolls that don't like AAP and they post frequently. It's actually kind of creepy how much time they spend here being mean. Fortunately it's not like that in the real world where we've never seen the kind of meanness there is on an anonymous forum like this.

Changing schools (If your base school is not a center) is a big deal that can be harder if friends or siblings are not moving. But it's a great program. It is a tough decision but the schools are so inconsistent that it's hard to generalize.

So, you call people you don't agree with "trolls"? I call them people who don't share my opinion but are still entitled to theirs.[/quote

Ah- not OP but you just demonstrated a troll behavior- please don't derail this OPs thread??? I guess you'd be making her point.

Disagreeing with someone is NOT troll behavior!

Okay" point taken. Now move on.

[Anonymous]

For the record, it is probably ugly here because everyone likes to be "right". I did not send my child to GT. I wanted her in base school. She graduated as a valedictorian and did better than many who went to Center.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For the record, it is probably ugly here because everyone likes to be "right". I did not send my child to GT. I wanted her in base school. She graduated as a valedictorian and did better than many who went to Center.

There are no valedictorians in Fairfax County schools. There are no class rankings and haven't been for some time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were struggling with the same decision- but just faxed our decision to go to the center just today. We do feel (and hope) this is the right decision.

Don't worry, this is the "safe" decision. You can always transfer back to your base school anytime, if you feel that it isn't working out.

Its like having a money-back guarantee trial period on a product you aren't sure about.

[Anonymous]

There are no valedictorians in Fairfax County schools. There are no class rankings and haven't been for some time.

And, my DC was a valedictorian before the change. And, it hasn't been that much time. For the record, it was before they gave extra GPA for Honors.