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I'm a 25 year old gay guy who works with a married guy who has been flirting with me for a couple of months now. I've had straight friends who flirted with me in the past but it was all really them just having a good time pushing my buttons. I didn't think it was anything different this time but we were hanging out after work with a group of co-workers and while we were at the table, he started rubbing my inner-thigh pretty aggressively. At one point his hand was on my dick. I didn't know how to react so I just pretended nothing was going on. The other guys didn't notice.
He came by my work space to say hi a few moments ago and was his usual friendly self. Asked me about catching a movie this week. I met his lovely wife at a party a while back and I'm trying to figure out how to go about dealing with this situation. We don't technically work for the same company, but we do work on the same projects in the same building. Even if we did, I really wouldn't want to get him in trouble with HR. So, what should I do? |
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You should do whatever you might normally do when you are not interested in someone, whether that is directly say, thanks but no thanks, or more subtly withdraw.
This screams crazy-time, and even if you are attracted to this guy, it's the same advice I'd give a young woman in the same situation - nothing good will come of hooking up with an older married man, and get the hell out of that situation. Period, end of discussion. |
| He's not flirting |
| Whenever I flirt with my married friends wives I always put my hand on their vulva. |
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Cheater and a closet case? Run, Forrest, Run! Tell this guy "No thanks" and distance yourself from this guy as much as you possibly can. Don't sit next to him. Don't be alone with him. Don't go out for drinks with him. If he persists, you'll have to go to HR. |
| I can't not work with him. That isn't an option. I could ask to be reassigned to some other project but without a very good reason it likely wouldn't happen. I'm not in any way going to "out" this guy. |
| Just tell the guy, "You're married and I'm not interested." |
| If a man rubbed a female colleagues leg and had his hand on her pussy she'd be advised to RUN to hr/authorities...I love how this is somehow different I mean whether you're gay or not doesn't really matter. You're being sexually harrassed in the workplace. Dude made a wrong bet. |
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Just say "I don't date married men." Pretty simple.
I have met so many men who are married (in the suburbs) who are clearly gay. I have to wonder what's going on in their houses and if their wives see what is obvious to others. |
| Did you get a hard on when he touched you? |
| Just man up... |
| ask him to bend over and give him what he wants |
| Is that the advice you would give a woman who is being sexually harassed? You women and your double standards are pathetic. |
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OP here -
So he called me ask me about seeing Godzilla on Friday and I said I didn't think it was a good idea. I sort of jokingly said that he should probably stop coming onto me before he gets himself into trouble. His response: "You let me worry about that. You just think about whether or not you're free on Friday night." Then he said he had to go and he'd come by later. I suppose I'll have to aggressively turn him down. I honestly hate tension and certainly don't want to have any at work. |