husband's snoring makes me furious
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Anonymous
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husband finally, FINALLY got a cpap machine - ah, sweet relief!
except lately he's been taking it off in the middle of the night - and when i wake up, asking him either to put the mask back on or go out to the couch, he says he wasn't snoring. then he claims that if he was, the snoring isn't what's keeping me awake. anger. recrimination. exhaustion. thinking about divorce. help? |
Anonymous
| Separate bedrooms. It is bliss. |
Anonymous
| Maybe the mask is not comfortable? He should get fitted again. Also it takes a while to adjust to the cpap, so give it time. |
Anonymous
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Good god! Did I write this post in my sleep?! What you describe was my situation exactly! It's so horrible! Mine has been a multi-year battle. For a long time I could kick him out of the bedroom but that didn't work when we had guests and then we had too many kids (3 kids, 2 bedrooms). If he slept on the couch, he'd wake the kids - his snoring even drove the dog away!. And, what about vacation? It's hard to get separate rooms on vacation.
I, too, was near divorce. I was suffering from long term sleep deprivation, it was affecting my health and I pulled up a lot of research showing what it was doing to me and to him. He, too, was sleep deprived, low energy, putting on weight and affecting cognitive performance. Did you know that sleep deprivation can mimic the symptoms of ADHD? My DH's got that too (which is bad enough) but it was making his symptoms that much worse and it rendered the medication useless. I hated to do it but I told him that I couldn't let his snoring continue to effect my health like it was and that he was going to have to make a choice because things couldn't go on the way they were. We have a solution - the CPAP. If that's not working for him, then he needs to come up with another solution. That seemed to make the difference and he's been pretty good about using it. About denying that he's snoring - why the hell do they deny snoring? What the hell do they think is waking us up? I recorded him on my phone one night and played it back for him. It's also hard for him to deny when the kids chime in that his snoring is so loud and, of course, there's the dog that leaves when he starts snoring and comes back when he (DH) goes to another room. Ugh. I hate snoring. |
Anonymous
| Same here. I miss him, but I do like sleeping through the night. |
Anonymous
| Wear ear plugs. After 22 years I sleep well at night. To this day, my husband doesn't believe he snores or it's that bad. It's really embarrassing when we are on a plane and we are not sitting together, I just act like I don't know him. |
Anonymous
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op again: i don't know why they deny that they're snoring. it's infuriating. it's exhausting. i'm exhausted.
we live in an apartment and don't have enough room for a separate bedroom, so i end up on the couch. which is uncomfortable. i will propose that he get the mask refitted. i'm not excited about that conversation. i'm so angry and sad and tired this morning. i just feel like this is such a goddamn waste. we work so hard all week and now it's the weekend and how are we spending it? fighting about his snoring. being exhausted. |
Anonymous
Me again. Does he tell you why he takes it off? That might help figure out what the problem is. If it's the airflow itself, he just needs to get used to it . |
Anonymous
i think it's not the airflow - i think he just hates having the thing on his face. he says he's still getting used to it but needs to take it off for a few hours every night/morning. (and thanks for your help with this.) |
Anonymous
Um, earplugs don't touch snoring. Are you serious? |
Anonymous
| Why don't you film him when he's snoring? I have been concerned because my DH seems to have sleep apnea. I've been meaning to do this; thank you for the reminder! |
Anonymous
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After a similar situation where dh wouldn't even see a doctor we came to the brink. He got fitted for a special mouth guard that reduces snoring significantly. Now instead of hearing I him snore across the hall with the doors closed ( yes I couldn't sleep I separate bedrooms) awe are I the same bed bed and I. Use earplugs if he is snoring softly. But dh didn't have bad apnea, more the anatomy of his face meant that when he relaxed his airway would close....
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Anonymous
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I have to admit those masks and machines are hideous and so not attractive or romantic.
I say he should sleep in a different room. He probably feels uncomfortable wearing that mask. Personally, I don't see how people can even sleep w/those masks on, it would take me some time to get used to wearing one of those and keeping it on while asleep. It's a transition and he probably is not taking it very well. |
Anonymous
| Cuddle, leave and sleep in a separate room, set your alarm for 15min before usual morning get-up time, go back into bed with him and cuddle. |
Anonymous
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My dh got one of those mouth guards and it helped. He uses it when we travel. When we are home, separate rooms. We have a one bedroom with a comfortable day bed in the living room.
If money is tight, just get a twin mattress with box spring and put it against a wall in the living room. I cannot sleep with someone who snores. |