husband's snoring makes me furious
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Anonymous
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Marriage counselling? It is infuriating that there is an easy solution to a problem that is causing you so much physical and emotional harm and he is refusing to do it. Hopefully he'll get used to the mask, or else a counsellor will help him see things from your point of view. My DH's snoring isn't that bad, but it keeps getting worse and I dread the day we have that conversation.
To people who keep suggesting another bedroom- OP said they don't have an extra room. Neither do we, or else I'd be there every night! |
Anonymous
| Why is this a martial problem? This is a sleeping problem. Find somewhere else to sleep. Oh, and continue to love your spouse - how about that? |
Anonymous
| Well you need a bigger apartment/house, or a different couch. Not a different marriage, or a new way to "convince him" of anything. |
Anonymous
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DH also has a problem with snoring, blowing his nose incredibly loudly, etc all in the middle of the night and jolting me awake. I'm not a light sleeper, at all. He is LOUD at midnight, 3am, etc and thinks it's fine.
For most of the year, we start the night out in the same bed and after the first offense of the night, I go to the guest bed. Sometimes he decides he misses me enough to try to do something about it (there are these nose strips he can wear that help) and other times, he doesn't. I don't have the energy to argue about it. But for the most of spring, when he is just a walking, breathing, bodily function machine blasted on a mega phone right into my ear in the middle of the night - we don't bother starting the evening out in the same bed. This year, he decided to see a Dr and try to sort it out. If that helps, then hopefully we can spend more nights together. |
Anonymous
I use earplugs and can still hear dh's snoring but it sounds farther away so I can make do and sleep. |
Anonymous
Ditto. Record the snoring and farting. 
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Anonymous
OP: How about investing in a good sleeper couch? What actually works pretty well is a futon that has a spring futon mattress. They are not that expensive. Its WELL WORTH IT. Sleep dep makes me want to just jump out of my skin and just reading this makes my blood pressure rise. I do not believe you should continue to sacrifice sleep PERIOD. GET A SLEEP SITUATION IN THE LIVING ROOM GOING- NOW. You need to reclaim your brain, that is PRIORITY ONE. Explain to DH that this is what you must do. Set yourself up a little nightstand/lamp, out in a few touches to make it comfy and SLEEP THERE and NOT WITH HIM. Its the only way right now, or you will keel over! Also do wear earplugs IN ADDITION to completely get away from the noise if it travels. I dont think you should delay this. GET THE NEW COUCH NOW. Its a the quickest, cheapest and MOST FAIR solution to the problem. |
Anonymous
NIMROD. The snoring spouse is creating a marital problem by disbelieving her and not putting her sleep needs into the picture as a priority over denial? He does not appear to have been a compassionate partner in solving the sleeping problem, and despite the spouses symptoms, just keeps doing whatever. THATS why its a marital problem. Yeah, just keep loving someone who doesnt give a shit about your health. Real good advice. |
Anonymous
NIMROD. The snoring spouse is creating a marital problem by disbelieving her and not putting her sleep needs into the picture as a priority over denial? He does not appear to have been a compassionate partner in solving the sleeping problem, and despite the spouses symptoms, just keeps doing whatever. THATS why its a marital problem. Yeah, just keep loving someone who doesnt give a shit about your health. Real good advice. |
Anonymous
| My husband wasn't even that bad of a snorer but I made him have surgery. This was in 1998. |
Anonymous
Get a more comfy couch and have him refitted. Or one night, just keep waking him up whenever you wake up so that he is not as well rested as you are. Maybe then he'll get it. If this is an issue about you not getting rest, you should be able to talk to him. If he doesn't listen then he is a jerk and you should divorce him for your own mental health. We both snore (though I deny it!) DH will poke me sometimes and that makes me stop. Sometimes he goes and sleeps on the couch and sometimes I swear I will smother him, but it's not disruptive enough where either one of us is sleep deprived. You could also get an inflatable mattress and he can sleep on that. Why should you give up the bed when he has the problem? |
Anonymous
| Separate sleeping arrangements works wonders. Buy a Murphy bed. |
Anonymous
I end up sleeping in guest bedroom when I get to breaking point, or DH will sleep in guest room or on couch. I used to say I'd never be one of those couples who sleep apart but now, with a toddler, I've found that I've become a light sleeper and his snoring will keep me up for hours sometimes. Can't go through life like that.
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Anonymous
| I had the same snoring battles with DH. He finally got a CPAP machine but his compliance wasn't good because he didn't like the mask. I've put on a lot of weight the last 2 years and started snoring. That gave DH a taste of what he put me through. The difference is that my snoring also bothered me. I wasn't well rested when I woke up even if he slept in a different room. I got a CPAP machine and the difference has been incredible. I had no problem adjusting to the pressure. It was the mask, of course. But, it wasn't that bad and after a while, I've gotten used to it. You have to wash the headgear on a regular basis as well as replace in every month or so. I've always been a sleep wimp and the CPAP helps me sleep. I have no sympathy for DH and his complaints about the mask. |
Anonymous
+1 this is a marital problem. He is dismissing her need for a restful night of sleep. |