He won't stop buying junk at the grocery store

[Anonymous]

Our daughter is almost 12 and getting too chubby. The size 12s that I've bought are too tight. Her father and I have had so many conversations about not buying her cookies, crackers, brownies and ice cream, but he just keeps buying it. 80% of what he buys her is processed carbs and shit food. He buys bananas every week, but only grapes and other fresh food occasionally. No fresh veggies, ever.

I've tried to wrestle away the shopping duty. No luck.

Suggestions? I'm throwing things away at this point.

[Anonymous]

She's in a women's 12, not child sizes.

[Anonymous]

Does your daughter want to lose weight and eat more healthy? If so, everyone in the family sits down together. Everyone in the family makes a commitment to eating well and exercising together. If not, you can't decide for her that she's going to eat broccoli just because it's in the house. Been there and it ruined my relationship with my mother.

[Anonymous]

What does he say? Why is he buying these items? You need to get what is going on there.

[Anonymous]

I agree with pp that you need to talk with dd and get the whole family on board. Then throw out all the crap, even if its unopened. Put a pack of cookies in DHs closet if he wants them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does your daughter want to lose weight and eat more healthy? If so, everyone in the family sits down together. Everyone in the family makes a commitment to eating well and exercising together. If not, you can't decide for her that she's going to eat broccoli just because it's in the house. Been there and it ruined my relationship with my mother.

I've tried that, but her father gives me a lot of resistance or agrees and goes out and buys crap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does he say? Why is he buying these items? You need to get what is going on there.

Honestly, I think it's one of his childish control tactics. He'll say something along the lines of "I like to give her some treats she enjoys," but it's every freaking meal that mostly consists of treats. He fries food and pairs it with chips and pairs it with canned corn covered in butter and salt. If I ask about fruit, he asks her if she wants go-gurt.

[Anonymous]

OP here again.

I don't want to make her mental about what she's eating, so I don't make a big fuss in front of her. It's our job to offer healthy foods. I'm not opposed to an ice cream sandwich after dinner, but she doesn't need 300+ calories desserts, like Klondike bars, every night.

[Anonymous]

Do you think maybe DH is unaware of how to eat healthily? It sounds like he is unaware of calorie counts, sugar, etc. Also he needs to be aware of the health risks of obesity--if he thinks it's just a cosmetic thing he may not be motivated to change his ways.

[Anonymous]

I would enlist the help of an expert third party--the pediatrician, a nutritionist or better yet, a marriage counselor. There is a big breakdown in how you are communicating with one another. And until you get at the root of that, this passive aggressive behavior will continue.

[Anonymous]

If your dd genuinely wants to lose weight -- if -- you have to do more than just offer healthy foods. Cooking should be tailored to weight loss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you think maybe DH is unaware of how to eat healthily? It sounds like he is unaware of calorie counts, sugar, etc. Also he needs to be aware of the health risks of obesity--if he thinks it's just a cosmetic thing he may not be motivated to change his ways.

He's insulin-dependent. He has had plenty of diet discussions and training from his doctors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would enlist the help of an expert third party--the pediatrician, a nutritionist or better yet, a marriage counselor. There is a big breakdown in how you are communicating with one another. And until you get at the root of that, this passive aggressive behavior will continue.

I totally agree. This isn't about junk food - junk food is just the symptom.

[Anonymous]

Lord, DH is insulin-dependent? Does he want DD to be on Metformin (oral anti-glycemic)? Because that's where she's headed.

I'm a physician OP and your DH needs to get on board. Now. If she hits adolescence with these eating habits she is in for some painful teen years and health problems in her early 20's that no one deserves. I see it daily and it's heartbreaking. The fact that he knows about these health risks as an adult and is setting your DD up for the same (due to his own issues, and believe me these are his own issues) is very sad. Unless you all have failed marriage counseling, it's time to go. Good luck and good on you for advocating for your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think maybe DH is unaware of how to eat healthily? It sounds like he is unaware of calorie counts, sugar, etc. Also he needs to be aware of the health risks of obesity--if he thinks it's just a cosmetic thing he may not be motivated to change his ways.

He's insulin-dependent. He has had plenty of diet discussions and training from his doctors.

Does he know that he's headed down the road of chopped off toes, then a foot, then the keg below the knee, then above? It's a horrible, slow death? Does he want that for your daughter? Size 12 at age 12 seems overweight.
Throw the food out. Take it out of the packages, crush it and throw hot sauce in the bag with everything. Your husband is an enabler.