When you don't get along with an administrator.....
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Anonymous
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How have you handled the situation when you do not get along with a division head of your childs school? Do you try and go to another administrator? Did you leave? Do you just ignore them and hope that you do not ever have a conversation alone with them again? This particular division head has been at my childs school for almost two years and she is the worst. In my gut, I know that she is a mean spiritied person with no substance. She is not qualified to be a division head and many parents are hoping that she will leave. Unfortunatly, I do not see that happening at least for another year.
Any suggestions on how you have dealt with this issue? Were you able to navigate the school climate knowing that an adminstrator is worthless? How did you get around it? Or should we pull our approx 60,000 and two children out of the school and just call it a learning experience. |
Anonymous
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OP, there's always two side to every story, but let's say for the sake of argument that this person is truly as you describe "mean spirited with no substance".
I get why you certainly don't want to hang out with this person, but I think the question you really need to ask yourself is, "can I identify specific actions this person is taking that has a negative affect on my child?" If you can't come up with clear examples, then maybe just shrug and recognize that life is full of people with lousy personalities. If you CAN come up with clear examples, then you need to move up the chain of command at the school and complain about the ACTIONS of this person, not the person overall. |
Anonymous
| Unfortunately, you need to come up with a new game plan before something happens where you really need that administrator's help. You can coast along and ignore that person for only so long, but there is a very good chance that eventually you will have a concern regarding your child that requires the administrator's attention. In my experience, the Head of the ES would never take any action to help out. I tried my best to connect with her on some level. We left the school. She is still there. The parents are miserable and starting to leave one by one. Unfortunately, it takes a long time to get rid of a bad egg. |
Anonymous
| You ride out the years in that division and keep a low profile. Been there, done that. |
Anonymous
| I agree with PP. But I would also add that in working with any school - there is potential to hit some road blocks. How you deal with those road blocks will have a large impact on your options going forward. The more professional you are (and the fewer bridges you burn), the better your chances are for reaching your desired outcome. You need to decide (among other things) whether the issue is worthy of bringing to the school head (you said it was a "division head") and whether the issues are large enough that you are willing to leave the school. Remember that the school will play a part in the application process. So be sure to stay professional and respectful. I've seen families "lose it" and make all kinds of unreasonable demands - and even if the school is not meeting your needs on something - it always makes the family look bad. That is never a good thing if you decide you need to leave..... |
Anonymous
14:16 here - The pp I was agreeing with was 14:09 |
Anonymous
| In my experience, you only need to truly have in-depth interaction with a division head if there is a problem that you need help with. Otherwise, it can be as surface a relationship as you'd like. Given that as a starting place, there is definitely usually two sides to the story... |
Anonymous
| If you are that frustrated with a division head - someone who does not have direct daily contact with your kid, you may be the problem. |
Anonymous
| At my DC's school the division head has almost daily contact with the students. Beginning with greeting them at the door every day. |
Anonymous
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The question is basically impossible to answer with the amount of information provided (and I'm not suggesting the OP provide more).
Presumably the reference to "not getting along" means there is a conflict over some sort of real issue. Maybe although the division head and the parent don't get along on a personal level, virtually any school administrator would handle the issue in substantively the same way, such that moving the children might reduce OP's heartburn but not make a real difference in outcome. Have they as parents liked the teaching or disliked it? That also factors in. If you feel like your child's education is just so-so it would be easier to pull the plug because of a difference in philosophy (to put it charitably) with the administration. If this is just you disliking someone and thinking you'd be better at the job, you probably won't be much happier at another school (although the school might be happier if you make that move). |
Anonymous
Ours does the same, but it doesn't mean I need to have a close friendship with the division head. I have a working relationship with the head, as needed. (which for the most part is not needed) I treat the division head with respect, even when we are not on the same page and in turn I am treated with respect when I need to raise a concern. I know so many people who feel entitled and go in with complaints and demands that are inappropriate. They are not even keeled or even handed - only speak up to make complaints and demands. If you have a particular issue that you are unhappy with, something that isn't being resolved to your satisfaction or an action by the division head that was inappropriate, then you need to decide whether it warrants a meeting higher up with the head of school. If it is a school policy or school culture issue that you are unhappy with, then you need to consider whether you should go elsewhere for your child's education. But as a pp highlighted, you might want to be careful and seriously consider whether anything will be different at a different school. If it's just that she doesn't jump at your every whim or if you just don't like her, then you need to consider how much of the problem is you and/or how much her personality makes any difference in your child's education and well being. I suspect your child has no problem with her at all (unless the issue at hand is related to your child's behavior). |
Anonymous
| Greeting at the door is daily contact? You don't like the way he (or she) says hi to your kid? Freak. |
Anonymous
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Problems with a child's teacher, I can understand but HTH do you get into a conflict with a school's division head?
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Anonymous
Aww come on, can't you see it? Op perceives that administrator does not greet her/her child as warmly as the others. Perhaps OP thinks the administrator is giving her stink eye. Perhaps OP is totally rude at drop off and the administrator said something to her. Ha I can see so many ways that a neurotic DCUMer could somehow dislike an administrator from a 30 second daily encounter. |
Anonymous
| First, I am not the OP, so my noting that the director greets kids at the door doesn't make me any kind of a freak. But at our school, that is just the start of the day. The director of the division visits classes, talks to the students regularly, leads assemblies, calls them into the office to chat, etc. The hello at the beginning of the day sets the tone for a close relationship all day. Such a freaky concept a hair-trigger judgmental person like you probably won't even get it. |