What are the most common ways women waste their 20s?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women want sexy, nice, wealthy, educated, ambitious, successful handsome and loyal guys who doesn't argue about division of chores, even if they are earning 70% of the household income.

Men want beautiful models who happen to work as physicians and have great household management skills.

Wrong. Men want attractive women who are pleasant to be around and enjoy having sex. Your list of what women want is spot-on though.

Ambitious men always wanted trophy wives, trophy meant beautiful and hot but now it means also having an equally impressive career and income for securing power couple status.

LOL.

Is this a DC thing?

It's a DCUM thing.

Well I’ve seen this in my Wall Street acquaintances. They do want beautiful wives who are (expressly or implicitly) willing to put their careers on the back burner. But having an accomplished wife/GF/fiance is actually seen as desirable. My brother told me at one point “the ideal wife would be an artist who went to Brown who you marry then stays home in Scarsdale.” They absolutely do not want (or could not cope with) a woman who had an actual career.

Ideal wife is just that: an ideal.

My ideal husband will make 5 million dollars a year and only work 20 hours a week. ( and I would blow away the tiniest chance I'd have of marrying into an already wealthy family because I would never sign a prenup).

But when it comes down to it, something gotta give.

And for most wealthy men, they will pick the beautiful woman without a career over the so so looking one with a career. The power couple thing is for men still trying to make it.

Now proximity to powerful men at work/ school give powerful women a better shot than those with no career to land these guys. But the guys don't care either way. You caught his eye because you are beautiful. You just happen to be smart too. He will respect your career because it is important to you, and he loves you.

I don’t think you get what I’m saying. These Wall Street guys expressly discuss how they do not want their wives to have careers. They would pick a less beautiful woman who would stay at home over a beautiful woman who made it clear that her career came first and she expected then to step back or be equal partners at home. This is their actual plan. They are fundamentally sexist d*cks and totally upfront about it. So yeah, if you’re a woman in your 20s, beautiful, intelligent- it is an option in NYC to target a Wall Street bro and you would be “wasting” your 20s if you didn’t do it then. But buyer beware, as they say. In your 30s your world will be very small and built entirely around consumption.

Wish you had chimed in during that insane thread awhile back where a militant crazy was insisting that young rich successful men now only want successful wives because it’s the new status symbol. And accusing everyone who said otherwise as old and out of touch. In my experience these men want exactly what you just described.

Well, I am describing an especially regressive, especially d*ckish, especially rich, subset - Wall Street Bros. For “normal” guys with normal careers who want to have families and enjoy family life, yeah, I think the norm is to want an equal (or significant) financial partner.

That thread was discussing what rich eligible young men wanted. I cannot stand Wall Street bros but they fall solidly into that category.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women want sexy, nice, wealthy, educated, ambitious, successful handsome and loyal guys who doesn't argue about division of chores, even if they are earning 70% of the household income.

Men want beautiful models who happen to work as physicians and have great household management skills.

Wrong. Men want attractive women who are pleasant to be around and enjoy having sex. Your list of what women want is spot-on though.

Ambitious men always wanted trophy wives, trophy meant beautiful and hot but now it means also having an equally impressive career and income for securing power couple status.

LOL.

Is this a DC thing?

It's a DCUM thing.

Well I’ve seen this in my Wall Street acquaintances. They do want beautiful wives who are (expressly or implicitly) willing to put their careers on the back burner. But having an accomplished wife/GF/fiance is actually seen as desirable. My brother told me at one point “the ideal wife would be an artist who went to Brown who you marry then stays home in Scarsdale.” They absolutely do not want (or could not cope with) a woman who had an actual career.

Ideal wife is just that: an ideal.

My ideal husband will make 5 million dollars a year and only work 20 hours a week. ( and I would blow away the tiniest chance I'd have of marrying into an already wealthy family because I would never sign a prenup).

But when it comes down to it, something gotta give.

And for most wealthy men, they will pick the beautiful woman without a career over the so so looking one with a career. The power couple thing is for men still trying to make it.

Now proximity to powerful men at work/ school give powerful women a better shot than those with no career to land these guys. But the guys don't care either way. You caught his eye because you are beautiful. You just happen to be smart too. He will respect your career because it is important to you, and he loves you.

I don’t think you get what I’m saying. These Wall Street guys expressly discuss how they do not want their wives to have careers. They would pick a less beautiful woman who would stay at home over a beautiful woman who made it clear that her career came first and she expected then to step back or be equal partners at home. This is their actual plan. They are fundamentally sexist d*cks and totally upfront about it. So yeah, if you’re a woman in your 20s, beautiful, intelligent- it is an option in NYC to target a Wall Street bro and you would be “wasting” your 20s if you didn’t do it then. But buyer beware, as they say. In your 30s your world will be very small and built entirely around consumption.

Wish you had chimed in during that insane thread awhile back where a militant crazy was insisting that young rich successful men now only want successful wives because it’s the new status symbol. And accusing everyone who said otherwise as old and out of touch. In my experience these men want exactly what you just described.

Well, I am describing an especially regressive, especially d*ckish, especially rich, subset - Wall Street Bros. For “normal” guys with normal careers who want to have families and enjoy family life, yeah, I think the norm is to want an equal (or significant) financial partner.

That thread was discussing what rich eligible young men wanted. I cannot stand Wall Street bros but they fall solidly into that category.

agree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the 2 year deadline but I think it’s wise for young women to tell men, bluntly, that they are willing to DTR/go exclusive/whatever but the clock is starting and by year 2 they expect to be broken up or planning a wedding. This kind of conversation, in my experience, scares off exactly who it should.

That's more or less what I told my now-husband when discussing my plans for after law school. I would be graduating around the 2-year dating mark (a little less) and I told him straight up that we'd either be engaged and planning a wedding or going our separate ways. I think it freaked him out a little but he proposed a few months later.

My wife did this to me. I had no thoughts of marriage when I graduated law school at 28 and was prepared to date and party for a while. Then girlfriend now wife gave an ultimatum and I didn't want to lose her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women want sexy, nice, wealthy, educated, ambitious, successful handsome and loyal guys who doesn't argue about division of chores, even if they are earning 70% of the household income.

Men want beautiful models who happen to work as physicians and have great household management skills.

Wrong. Men want attractive women who are pleasant to be around and enjoy having sex. Your list of what women want is spot-on though.

Ambitious men always wanted trophy wives, trophy meant beautiful and hot but now it means also having an equally impressive career and income for securing power couple status.

LOL.

Is this a DC thing?

It's a DCUM thing.

Well I’ve seen this in my Wall Street acquaintances. They do want beautiful wives who are (expressly or implicitly) willing to put their careers on the back burner. But having an accomplished wife/GF/fiance is actually seen as desirable. My brother told me at one point “the ideal wife would be an artist who went to Brown who you marry then stays home in Scarsdale.” They absolutely do not want (or could not cope with) a woman who had an actual career.

Ideal wife is just that: an ideal.

My ideal husband will make 5 million dollars a year and only work 20 hours a week. ( and I would blow away the tiniest chance I'd have of marrying into an already wealthy family because I would never sign a prenup).

But when it comes down to it, something gotta give.

And for most wealthy men, they will pick the beautiful woman without a career over the so so looking one with a career. The power couple thing is for men still trying to make it.

Now proximity to powerful men at work/ school give powerful women a better shot than those with no career to land these guys. But the guys don't care either way. You caught his eye because you are beautiful. You just happen to be smart too. He will respect your career because it is important to you, and he loves you.

I don’t think you get what I’m saying. These Wall Street guys expressly discuss how they do not want their wives to have careers. They would pick a less beautiful woman who would stay at home over a beautiful woman who made it clear that her career came first and she expected then to step back or be equal partners at home. This is their actual plan. They are fundamentally sexist d*cks and totally upfront about it. So yeah, if you’re a woman in your 20s, beautiful, intelligent- it is an option in NYC to target a Wall Street bro and you would be “wasting” your 20s if you didn’t do it then. But buyer beware, as they say. In your 30s your world will be very small and built entirely around consumption.

This does not necessarily have to be a bad thing.

If I were working 100 hours a week, I would want a spouse who would stay at home too.

One of the things I cherished about my DH was that he worked a 9-5. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go into big law/ consulting, and I was happy that if I married him and decided to go into big law/ consulting one of us will be readily available when the children needed us.

So are these mem just being practical? Some women like consumption, and they would complement these men.

Yes, they are being practical about getting what they want and acting in accordance with their horrible values

All that matters is that there are women out there with complementary values. Match made in heaven. Everyone is happy!

[Anonymous]

My aunt did this to her BF, he didn't purpose after her ultimatum so she moved away, after dating few duds, met my uncle who proposed on first anniversary of their first date. Her old BF showed up with a ring a month before her wedding. Needless to say, she declined and stayed with my uncle.

Her BF is a well know surgeon now. My uncle is very well off but not as handsome or impressive, a humble intellectual with below average looks. However, she is extremely happy with her decision and has a lovely family with him.

She feels she is better off because she doesn't have to fight other women for his attention, he keeps her on a pedestal and if married to her old BF, relationship dynamic would be reverse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did a depressing exercise yesterday. For context I'm a single 33 yo female. More on the introverted side. I consider myself a 6 or 7. The kind of girl that didn't get much attention during high school and had one basic boyfriend throughout college. Not much dating success during working years. I desperately want to have kids. I've been having weird panic attacks where I see myself dying alone.

I thought about the kind of man I want. At least 6ft because my dad is tall and that's what I'm used to. Need to make $250k minimum. Decently masculine frame/build. Educated because I have two masters. Don't care too much about face as long as he is nice. Can't have his own kid already because I don't want to deal with another woman's kids.

Anyways, I tried to imagine what such a man would want and I can't imagine him picking me. Maybe if I move to Tennessee or something but I don't know how many guys with trucks and masculine energy are making $250k.

The irony of feminism is how it pushed women to become more masculine, but instead of allowing men to become more feminine in response it did the opposite since women can *only* date men who are more masculine than themselves. Now men are forced to become even more hypermasculine in order to be able to attract these modern who have tossed out their femininity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did a depressing exercise yesterday. For context I'm a single 33 yo female. More on the introverted side. I consider myself a 6 or 7. The kind of girl that didn't get much attention during high school and had one basic boyfriend throughout college. Not much dating success during working years. I desperately want to have kids. I've been having weird panic attacks where I see myself dying alone.

I thought about the kind of man I want. At least 6ft because my dad is tall and that's what I'm used to. Need to make $250k minimum. Decently masculine frame/build. Educated because I have two masters. Don't care too much about face as long as he is nice. Can't have his own kid already because I don't want to deal with another woman's kids.

Anyways, I tried to imagine what such a man would want and I can't imagine him picking me. Maybe if I move to Tennessee or something but I don't know how many guys with trucks and masculine energy are making $250k.

The irony of feminism is how it pushed women to become more masculine, but instead of allowing men to become more feminine in response it did the opposite since women can *only* date men who are more masculine than themselves. Now men are forced to become even more hypermasculine in order to be able to attract these modern who have tossed out their femininity.

That wasn't a real person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did a depressing exercise yesterday. For context I'm a single 33 yo female. More on the introverted side. I consider myself a 6 or 7. The kind of girl that didn't get much attention during high school and had one basic boyfriend throughout college. Not much dating success during working years. I desperately want to have kids. I've been having weird panic attacks where I see myself dying alone.

I thought about the kind of man I want. At least 6ft because my dad is tall and that's what I'm used to. Need to make $250k minimum. Decently masculine frame/build. Educated because I have two masters. Don't care too much about face as long as he is nice. Can't have his own kid already because I don't want to deal with another woman's kids.

Anyways, I tried to imagine what such a man would want and I can't imagine him picking me. Maybe if I move to Tennessee or something but I don't know how many guys with trucks and masculine energy are making $250k.

This has to be a joke. This is like a condensation of every stereotype that the red-pill male community has about modern women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My aunt did this to her BF, he didn't purpose after her ultimatum so she moved away, after dating few duds, met my uncle who proposed on first anniversary of their first date. Her old BF showed up with a ring a month before her wedding. Needless to say, she declined and stayed with my uncle.

Her BF is a well know surgeon now. My uncle is very well off but not as handsome or impressive, a humble intellectual with below average looks. However, she is extremely happy with her decision and has a lovely family with him.

She feels she is better off because she doesn't have to fight other women for his attention, he keeps her on a pedestal and if married to her old BF, relationship dynamic would be reverse.

She sounds like a real prize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women dated in HS and college. Do they really need to keep dating different men for 3-4-5-6-7 more years after college? If they’ve been focused on finding good partners at every stage of dating, how likely is it that none of these guys was Mr. Right-enough? Are there really that many women who are setting impossible standards? Assuming that they envision at some point settling down and raising a family, why does this project take so damn long for so many of them? I think there’s something in our culture/nurturing of girls that throws a wrench in the works, but not sure what that is. Perhaps it’s how emphatic and powerful the highly contradictory messages are (such as in this thread) — they just cause a kind of purgatory of undecidedness.

It’s moreso that men suck.

NP here and I hear this sentiment from other women a good deal. I truly don't understand it -- if men are so horrible and constantly derided, why be with them at all? Why not find a woman to spend your life with or be celibate? There are awful dudes out there, and awful women, but it doesn't mean you have to be in a relationship with any of them.

A lot of women make this choice once the societal pressure to marry is gone. I know many contented single women in their 40s and beyond.

Content, or philosophically resigned tontheir fate, or putting on a brave face?

Do you actually think a woman cannot be haply without a man? I mean seriously, wtf. But yes, gasp, content.

Women seem unhinged when alone. Men less so. Both suffer from loneliness, to what extent is sensitive to their sex.

Guess you have not seen the data about remarriage after divorce or death of a spouse.

Men can’t handle running a home, let alone a family in their own.

Do older women (mid-40s) get remarried after divorce? I need to hear some positive stories, please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:37 yo man here. Never married. Ex military officer and now run a successful DoD contracting business. I’m ready to settle down before I’m too old for raising kids. All I want is a younger woman (in her mid 20s) who is down to build a family. Don’t care for her career or education. The 30+ women I have dated just didn’t click for me.

You will not find many women interested in a 12 year age gap.

If you want a family this is true. If you want to have fun for 6-9 months, that’s all I’ve done from 39-45 dating 19-26.

(Most men can’t pull this off, but for some of us it’s easy)

Dating a 20 year old woman is a 39 year old man is disgusting.

I'm a woman and, sorry, that's ageism. What right do you have to call someone else's relationship "disgusting"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women dated in HS and college. Do they really need to keep dating different men for 3-4-5-6-7 more years after college? If they’ve been focused on finding good partners at every stage of dating, how likely is it that none of these guys was Mr. Right-enough? Are there really that many women who are setting impossible standards? Assuming that they envision at some point settling down and raising a family, why does this project take so damn long for so many of them? I think there’s something in our culture/nurturing of girls that throws a wrench in the works, but not sure what that is. Perhaps it’s how emphatic and powerful the highly contradictory messages are (such as in this thread) — they just cause a kind of purgatory of undecidedness.

It’s moreso that men suck.

NP here and I hear this sentiment from other women a good deal. I truly don't understand it -- if men are so horrible and constantly derided, why be with them at all? Why not find a woman to spend your life with or be celibate? There are awful dudes out there, and awful women, but it doesn't mean you have to be in a relationship with any of them.

A lot of women make this choice once the societal pressure to marry is gone. I know many contented single women in their 40s and beyond.

Content, or philosophically resigned tontheir fate, or putting on a brave face?

Do you actually think a woman cannot be haply without a man? I mean seriously, wtf. But yes, gasp, content.

Women seem unhinged when alone. Men less so. Both suffer from loneliness, to what extent is sensitive to their sex.

Guess you have not seen the data about remarriage after divorce or death of a spouse.

Men can’t handle running a home, let alone a family in their own.

Do older women (mid-40s) get remarried after divorce? I need to hear some positive stories, please.

IME some do, some don't. may don't want to. Others can't find anyone. It was hard enough the first time. But if you think it's hard mid-40s I am early 50s and its' a desert.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women dated in HS and college. Do they really need to keep dating different men for 3-4-5-6-7 more years after college? If they’ve been focused on finding good partners at every stage of dating, how likely is it that none of these guys was Mr. Right-enough? Are there really that many women who are setting impossible standards? Assuming that they envision at some point settling down and raising a family, why does this project take so damn long for so many of them? I think there’s something in our culture/nurturing of girls that throws a wrench in the works, but not sure what that is. Perhaps it’s how emphatic and powerful the highly contradictory messages are (such as in this thread) — they just cause a kind of purgatory of undecidedness.

It’s moreso that men suck.

NP here and I hear this sentiment from other women a good deal. I truly don't understand it -- if men are so horrible and constantly derided, why be with them at all? Why not find a woman to spend your life with or be celibate? There are awful dudes out there, and awful women, but it doesn't mean you have to be in a relationship with any of them.

A lot of women make this choice once the societal pressure to marry is gone. I know many contented single women in their 40s and beyond.

Content, or philosophically resigned tontheir fate, or putting on a brave face?

Do you actually think a woman cannot be haply without a man? I mean seriously, wtf. But yes, gasp, content.

Women seem unhinged when alone. Men less so. Both suffer from loneliness, to what extent is sensitive to their sex.

Guess you have not seen the data about remarriage after divorce or death of a spouse.

Men can’t handle running a home, let alone a family in their own.

Do older women (mid-40s) get remarried after divorce? I need to hear some positive stories, please.

IME some do, some don't. may don't want to. Others can't find anyone. It was hard enough the first time. But if you think it's hard mid-40s I am early 50s and its' a desert.

Ugh This divorce is not my choice. I enjoyed being married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women dated in HS and college. Do they really need to keep dating different men for 3-4-5-6-7 more years after college? If they’ve been focused on finding good partners at every stage of dating, how likely is it that none of these guys was Mr. Right-enough? Are there really that many women who are setting impossible standards? Assuming that they envision at some point settling down and raising a family, why does this project take so damn long for so many of them? I think there’s something in our culture/nurturing of girls that throws a wrench in the works, but not sure what that is. Perhaps it’s how emphatic and powerful the highly contradictory messages are (such as in this thread) — they just cause a kind of purgatory of undecidedness.

It’s moreso that men suck.

NP here and I hear this sentiment from other women a good deal. I truly don't understand it -- if men are so horrible and constantly derided, why be with them at all? Why not find a woman to spend your life with or be celibate? There are awful dudes out there, and awful women, but it doesn't mean you have to be in a relationship with any of them.

A lot of women make this choice once the societal pressure to marry is gone. I know many contented single women in their 40s and beyond.

Content, or philosophically resigned tontheir fate, or putting on a brave face?

Do you actually think a woman cannot be haply without a man? I mean seriously, wtf. But yes, gasp, content.

Women seem unhinged when alone. Men less so. Both suffer from loneliness, to what extent is sensitive to their sex.

Guess you have not seen the data about remarriage after divorce or death of a spouse.

Men can’t handle running a home, let alone a family in their own.

Do older women (mid-40s) get remarried after divorce? I need to hear some positive stories, please.

IME some do, some don't. may don't want to. Others can't find anyone. It was hard enough the first time. But if you think it's hard mid-40s I am early 50s and its' a desert.

Ugh This divorce is not my choice. I enjoyed being married.

I did too but marriage is weird bc it's the one thing that matters more than anything else and it's heavily dependent on another person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women dated in HS and college. Do they really need to keep dating different men for 3-4-5-6-7 more years after college? If they’ve been focused on finding good partners at every stage of dating, how likely is it that none of these guys was Mr. Right-enough? Are there really that many women who are setting impossible standards? Assuming that they envision at some point settling down and raising a family, why does this project take so damn long for so many of them? I think there’s something in our culture/nurturing of girls that throws a wrench in the works, but not sure what that is. Perhaps it’s how emphatic and powerful the highly contradictory messages are (such as in this thread) — they just cause a kind of purgatory of undecidedness.

It’s moreso that men suck.

NP here and I hear this sentiment from other women a good deal. I truly don't understand it -- if men are so horrible and constantly derided, why be with them at all? Why not find a woman to spend your life with or be celibate? There are awful dudes out there, and awful women, but it doesn't mean you have to be in a relationship with any of them.

A lot of women make this choice once the societal pressure to marry is gone. I know many contented single women in their 40s and beyond.

Content, or philosophically resigned tontheir fate, or putting on a brave face?

Do you actually think a woman cannot be haply without a man? I mean seriously, wtf. But yes, gasp, content.

Women seem unhinged when alone. Men less so. Both suffer from loneliness, to what extent is sensitive to their sex.

Guess you have not seen the data about remarriage after divorce or death of a spouse.

Men can’t handle running a home, let alone a family in their own.

Do older women (mid-40s) get remarried after divorce? I need to hear some positive stories, please.

IME some do, some don't. may don't want to. Others can't find anyone. It was hard enough the first time. But if you think it's hard mid-40s I am early 50s and its' a desert.

Ugh This divorce is not my choice. I enjoyed being married.

Every woman I know who got divorced remarried and fairly quickly. Most men do not want to get married but do.