The Death of Private School As We Know It

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is hysterical. So much posturing from both sides. To the OP and the other bitter PPs, tough luck that your K-12 tuition dollars don't guarantee your kids a guaranteed glidepath to a T20 school. It's grotesque to see the casual racism and classism that is unleashed by the possible loss of an iota of privilege.

And to those sanctimommies who are insisting you don't give a fig about college outcomes after shelling out $50k a year for 13 years, puhleez. If it was all about "community and service," there's plenty of opportunity for both in public schools. You paid a premium for the cachet and handholding of private kindergarten; you're really going to cheer when your kids go to a third-tier public university?

Right! all I hear is waaaaah waaaaah waaaaah!!!

Your White and White Adjascent kids will do fine in life, have a better chance of coming out of any benign police interaction alive, most likely will get premium interest rates for their home loans, won't suffer the negative mental and health effects of daily racism * "macro-agression bc micro agression is a fallacy" neither be on the losing end of health disparities, employment discrimiation and still get the benefit of being considered the default/norm/welcome/real Amerians (sans the Asians) and granted the benefit of the doubt of being honest, credit worthy, intelligent, capable....

you know the same benefits being thrown around about them by all the racist and classist A-hole parents commenting on this thread.

cry me a river.

Cry me a river, victim mentality.

[Anonymous]

I work in (graduate) higher education and have experience with admissions decisions. The problem you are describing is geography, not school choice. Living in the DMV means that you are dealing with incredible competition for Ivy league admissions. Admissions are trying to admit a diverse class, including geographic diversity. They don't want a class full of kids exclusively from NYC, Boston, DC, Chicago, LA, and SF. The quest for a diverse class (which is appropriate in my opinion) is what has been changing in college admissions in the 5-10 years. Basically everywhere that it is expensive to live is also a place that is filled with highly educated and successful parents who are intent on getting their kids into an Ivy league school. It's much easier to get your kid into an Ivy from Indiana or Alabama. MUCH easier.

That said, given that you live in the DMV, sending your kid to a private school means they are competing against the other kids in their class. Each Ivy is only going to take one or two kids from each private. Given that most of the kids at the top privates are smart and talented, the competition is stiff. But the same holds true of the better public schools in the area like Wilson, BCC, etc. The Ivies are only going to take a few of those kids too, and there is a much bigger class that is also filled (at least at the top) with talented and smart kids who are coming from homes that value education. So private school doesn't give you an edge, but it is also equally hard to get into an Ivy from any of the other quality high schools in the area.

The good news (in light of this) is that getting into an Ivy doesn't necessarily guaranty the kind of life it did 20 or 30 years ago, nor does going to a great non-Ivy exclude whatever kind of life you are imagining for your child. It's hard to go far these days without a graduate education, and graduate schools are also looking for a diverse class. A Harvard undergrad isn't necessarily going to get into Harvard Law School or Medical School or Business School. That's changing too. In many ways, the education world is becoming more of a meritocracy than it has ever been. There are many more paths to a great, successful, opportunity-rich life now than there were 30 years ago when some doors were permanently closed to those who didn't go to an Ivy undergraduate school. A talented, well-prepared student that is well-supported and motivated has a million roads open to them.

Parents need to get with the changing times and open their minds and imaginations to the possibilities that exist now. Instead of trying to reenact the path that created your own opportunities, try to find a good fit for your specific child. This applies to high school and college selection. Try to find a place that your child will succeed and, much more importantly, be happy. Stop seeing private school as a way to buy an Ivy league admission, and start learning more about your specific child. Craft a life around your child as an individual and make choices from that perspective. Stop trying to buy things that should be earned. Private schools are great environments for some kids, and terrible environments for other kids. The same is true of public schools. Pick a school that meets your child's needs and understand that a high school education is all you are buying.

[Anonymous]

Parents need to get with the changing times and open their minds and imaginations to the possibilities that exist now. Instead of trying to reenact the path that created your own opportunities, try to find a good fit for your specific child. This applies to high school and college selection. Try to find a place that your child will succeed and, much more importantly, be happy. Stop seeing private school as a way to buy an Ivy league admission, and start learning more about your specific child. Craft a life around your child as an individual and make choices from that perspective. Stop trying to buy things that should be earned. Private schools are great environments for some kids, and terrible environments for other kids. The same is true of public schools. Pick a school that meets your child's needs and understand that a high school education is all you are buying.

One of the smartest and most reasonable things I have read on this website.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is hysterical. So much posturing from both sides. To the OP and the other bitter PPs, tough luck that your K-12 tuition dollars don't guarantee your kids a guaranteed glidepath to a T20 school. It's grotesque to see the casual racism and classism that is unleashed by the possible loss of an iota of privilege.

And to those sanctimommies who are insisting you don't give a fig about college outcomes after shelling out $50k a year for 13 years, puhleez. If it was all about "community and service," there's plenty of opportunity for both in public schools. You paid a premium for the cachet and handholding of private kindergarten; you're really going to cheer when your kids go to a third-tier public university?

Right! all I hear is waaaaah waaaaah waaaaah!!!

Your White and White Adjascent kids will do fine in life, have a better chance of coming out of any benign police interaction alive, most likely will get premium interest rates for their home loans, won't suffer the negative mental and health effects of daily racism * "macro-agression bc micro agression is a fallacy" neither be on the losing end of health disparities, employment discrimiation and still get the benefit of being considered the default/norm/welcome/real Amerians (sans the Asians) and granted the benefit of the doubt of being honest, credit worthy, intelligent, capable....

you know the same benefits being thrown around about them by all the racist and classist A-hole parents commenting on this thread.

cry me a river.

Cry me a river, victim mentality.

Tell that to your mom who probably got screwed over for a job by a man

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is hysterical. So much posturing from both sides. To the OP and the other bitter PPs, tough luck that your K-12 tuition dollars don't guarantee your kids a guaranteed glidepath to a T20 school. It's grotesque to see the casual racism and classism that is unleashed by the possible loss of an iota of privilege.

And to those sanctimommies who are insisting you don't give a fig about college outcomes after shelling out $50k a year for 13 years, puhleez. If it was all about "community and service," there's plenty of opportunity for both in public schools. You paid a premium for the cachet and handholding of private kindergarten; you're really going to cheer when your kids go to a third-tier public university?

Right! all I hear is waaaaah waaaaah waaaaah!!!

Your White and White Adjascent kids will do fine in life, have a better chance of coming out of any benign police interaction alive, most likely will get premium interest rates for their home loans, won't suffer the negative mental and health effects of daily racism * "macro-agression bc micro agression is a fallacy" neither be on the losing end of health disparities, employment discrimiation and still get the benefit of being considered the default/norm/welcome/real Amerians (sans the Asians) and granted the benefit of the doubt of being honest, credit worthy, intelligent, capable....

you know the same benefits being thrown around about them by all the racist and classist A-hole parents commenting on this thread.

cry me a river.

Cry me a river, victim mentality.

Tell that to your mom who probably got screwed over for a job by a man

Nice assumption, too bad you’re wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is hysterical. So much posturing from both sides. To the OP and the other bitter PPs, tough luck that your K-12 tuition dollars don't guarantee your kids a guaranteed glidepath to a T20 school. It's grotesque to see the casual racism and classism that is unleashed by the possible loss of an iota of privilege.

And to those sanctimommies who are insisting you don't give a fig about college outcomes after shelling out $50k a year for 13 years, puhleez. If it was all about "community and service," there's plenty of opportunity for both in public schools. You paid a premium for the cachet and handholding of private kindergarten; you're really going to cheer when your kids go to a third-tier public university?

Right! all I hear is waaaaah waaaaah waaaaah!!!

Your White and White Adjascent kids will do fine in life, have a better chance of coming out of any benign police interaction alive, most likely will get premium interest rates for their home loans, won't suffer the negative mental and health effects of daily racism * "macro-agression bc micro agression is a fallacy" neither be on the losing end of health disparities, employment discrimiation and still get the benefit of being considered the default/norm/welcome/real Amerians (sans the Asians) and granted the benefit of the doubt of being honest, credit worthy, intelligent, capable....

you know the same benefits being thrown around about them by all the racist and classist A-hole parents commenting on this thread.

cry me a river.

Cry me a river, victim mentality.

Tell that to your mom who probably got screwed over for a job by a man

Similar to the way men get screwed over all the time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is hysterical. So much posturing from both sides. To the OP and the other bitter PPs, tough luck that your K-12 tuition dollars don't guarantee your kids a guaranteed glidepath to a T20 school. It's grotesque to see the casual racism and classism that is unleashed by the possible loss of an iota of privilege.

And to those sanctimommies who are insisting you don't give a fig about college outcomes after shelling out $50k a year for 13 years, puhleez. If it was all about "community and service," there's plenty of opportunity for both in public schools. You paid a premium for the cachet and handholding of private kindergarten; you're really going to cheer when your kids go to a third-tier public university?

Right! all I hear is waaaaah waaaaah waaaaah!!!

Your White and White Adjascent kids will do fine in life, have a better chance of coming out of any benign police interaction alive, most likely will get premium interest rates for their home loans, won't suffer the negative mental and health effects of daily racism * "macro-agression bc micro agression is a fallacy" neither be on the losing end of health disparities, employment discrimiation and still get the benefit of being considered the default/norm/welcome/real Amerians (sans the Asians) and granted the benefit of the doubt of being honest, credit worthy, intelligent, capable....

you know the same benefits being thrown around about them by all the racist and classist A-hole parents commenting on this thread.

cry me a river.

Cry me a river, victim mentality.

Tell that to your mom who probably got screwed over for a job by a man

No. She probably screwed someone to get the job...not like that hasn't happened millions of times.

[Anonymous]

Stay classy, private parents!

[Anonymous]

OP, I tend to agree with you except on ACT/SAT. While most schools seem to have remained test optional, I think they still care about high scores.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Parents need to get with the changing times and open their minds and imaginations to the possibilities that exist now. Instead of trying to reenact the path that created your own opportunities, try to find a good fit for your specific child. This applies to high school and college selection. Try to find a place that your child will succeed and, much more importantly, be happy. Stop seeing private school as a way to buy an Ivy league admission, and start learning more about your specific child. Craft a life around your child as an individual and make choices from that perspective. Stop trying to buy things that should be earned. Private schools are great environments for some kids, and terrible environments for other kids. The same is true of public schools. Pick a school that meets your child's needs and understand that a high school education is all you are buying.

One of the smartest and most reasonable things I have read on this website.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work in (graduate) higher education and have experience with admissions decisions. The problem you are describing is geography, not school choice. Living in the DMV means that you are dealing with incredible competition for Ivy league admissions. Admissions are trying to admit a diverse class, including geographic diversity. They don't want a class full of kids exclusively from NYC, Boston, DC, Chicago, LA, and SF. The quest for a diverse class (which is appropriate in my opinion) is what has been changing in college admissions in the 5-10 years. Basically everywhere that it is expensive to live is also a place that is filled with highly educated and successful parents who are intent on getting their kids into an Ivy league school. It's much easier to get your kid into an Ivy from Indiana or Alabama. MUCH easier.

That said, given that you live in the DMV, sending your kid to a private school means they are competing against the other kids in their class. Each Ivy is only going to take one or two kids from each private. Given that most of the kids at the top privates are smart and talented, the competition is stiff. But the same holds true of the better public schools in the area like Wilson, BCC, etc. The Ivies are only going to take a few of those kids too, and there is a much bigger class that is also filled (at least at the top) with talented and smart kids who are coming from homes that value education. So private school doesn't give you an edge, but it is also equally hard to get into an Ivy from any of the other quality high schools in the area.

The good news (in light of this) is that getting into an Ivy doesn't necessarily guaranty the kind of life it did 20 or 30 years ago, nor does going to a great non-Ivy exclude whatever kind of life you are imagining for your child. It's hard to go far these days without a graduate education, and graduate schools are also looking for a diverse class. A Harvard undergrad isn't necessarily going to get into Harvard Law School or Medical School or Business School. That's changing too. In many ways, the education world is becoming more of a meritocracy than it has ever been. There are many more paths to a great, successful, opportunity-rich life now than there were 30 years ago when some doors were permanently closed to those who didn't go to an Ivy undergraduate school. A talented, well-prepared student that is well-supported and motivated has a million roads open to them.

Parents need to get with the changing times and open their minds and imaginations to the possibilities that exist now. Instead of trying to reenact the path that created your own opportunities, try to find a good fit for your specific child. This applies to high school and college selection. Try to find a place that your child will succeed and, much more importantly, be happy. Stop seeing private school as a way to buy an Ivy league admission, and start learning more about your specific child. Craft a life around your child as an individual and make choices from that perspective. Stop trying to buy things that should be earned. Private schools are great environments for some kids, and terrible environments for other kids. The same is true of public schools. Pick a school that meets your child's needs and understand that a high school education is all you are buying.

+100%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work in (graduate) higher education and have experience with admissions decisions. The problem you are describing is geography, not school choice. Living in the DMV means that you are dealing with incredible competition for Ivy league admissions. Admissions are trying to admit a diverse class, including geographic diversity. They don't want a class full of kids exclusively from NYC, Boston, DC, Chicago, LA, and SF. The quest for a diverse class (which is appropriate in my opinion) is what has been changing in college admissions in the 5-10 years. Basically everywhere that it is expensive to live is also a place that is filled with highly educated and successful parents who are intent on getting their kids into an Ivy league school. It's much easier to get your kid into an Ivy from Indiana or Alabama. MUCH easier.

That said, given that you live in the DMV, sending your kid to a private school means they are competing against the other kids in their class. Each Ivy is only going to take one or two kids from each private. Given that most of the kids at the top privates are smart and talented, the competition is stiff. But the same holds true of the better public schools in the area like Wilson, BCC, etc. The Ivies are only going to take a few of those kids too, and there is a much bigger class that is also filled (at least at the top) with talented and smart kids who are coming from homes that value education. So private school doesn't give you an edge, but it is also equally hard to get into an Ivy from any of the other quality high schools in the area.

The good news (in light of this) is that getting into an Ivy doesn't necessarily guaranty the kind of life it did 20 or 30 years ago, nor does going to a great non-Ivy exclude whatever kind of life you are imagining for your child. It's hard to go far these days without a graduate education, and graduate schools are also looking for a diverse class. A Harvard undergrad isn't necessarily going to get into Harvard Law School or Medical School or Business School. That's changing too. In many ways, the education world is becoming more of a meritocracy than it has ever been. There are many more paths to a great, successful, opportunity-rich life now than there were 30 years ago when some doors were permanently closed to those who didn't go to an Ivy undergraduate school. A talented, well-prepared student that is well-supported and motivated has a million roads open to them.

Parents need to get with the changing times and open their minds and imaginations to the possibilities that exist now. Instead of trying to reenact the path that created your own opportunities, try to find a good fit for your specific child. This applies to high school and college selection. Try to find a place that your child will succeed and, much more importantly, be happy. Stop seeing private school as a way to buy an Ivy league admission, and start learning more about your specific child. Craft a life around your child as an individual and make choices from that perspective. Stop trying to buy things that should be earned. Private schools are great environments for some kids, and terrible environments for other kids. The same is true of public schools. Pick a school that meets your child's needs and understand that a high school education is all you are buying.

Such a voice of reason and breath of fresh air. Many thanks for taking the time to post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work in (graduate) higher education and have experience with admissions decisions. The problem you are describing is geography, not school choice. Living in the DMV means that you are dealing with incredible competition for Ivy league admissions. Admissions are trying to admit a diverse class, including geographic diversity. They don't want a class full of kids exclusively from NYC, Boston, DC, Chicago, LA, and SF. The quest for a diverse class (which is appropriate in my opinion) is what has been changing in college admissions in the 5-10 years. Basically everywhere that it is expensive to live is also a place that is filled with highly educated and successful parents who are intent on getting their kids into an Ivy league school. It's much easier to get your kid into an Ivy from Indiana or Alabama. MUCH easier.

That said, given that you live in the DMV, sending your kid to a private school means they are competing against the other kids in their class. Each Ivy is only going to take one or two kids from each private. Given that most of the kids at the top privates are smart and talented, the competition is stiff. But the same holds true of the better public schools in the area like Wilson, BCC, etc. The Ivies are only going to take a few of those kids too, and there is a much bigger class that is also filled (at least at the top) with talented and smart kids who are coming from homes that value education. So private school doesn't give you an edge, but it is also equally hard to get into an Ivy from any of the other quality high schools in the area.

The good news (in light of this) is that getting into an Ivy doesn't necessarily guaranty the kind of life it did 20 or 30 years ago, nor does going to a great non-Ivy exclude whatever kind of life you are imagining for your child. It's hard to go far these days without a graduate education, and graduate schools are also looking for a diverse class. A Harvard undergrad isn't necessarily going to get into Harvard Law School or Medical School or Business School. That's changing too. In many ways, the education world is becoming more of a meritocracy than it has ever been. There are many more paths to a great, successful, opportunity-rich life now than there were 30 years ago when some doors were permanently closed to those who didn't go to an Ivy undergraduate school. A talented, well-prepared student that is well-supported and motivated has a million roads open to them.

Parents need to get with the changing times and open their minds and imaginations to the possibilities that exist now. Instead of trying to reenact the path that created your own opportunities, try to find a good fit for your specific child. This applies to high school and college selection. Try to find a place that your child will succeed and, much more importantly, be happy. Stop seeing private school as a way to buy an Ivy league admission, and start learning more about your specific child. Craft a life around your child as an individual and make choices from that perspective. Stop trying to buy things that should be earned. Private schools are great environments for some kids, and terrible environments for other kids. The same is true of public schools. Pick a school that meets your child's needs and understand that a high school education is all you are buying.

Such a voice of reason and breath of fresh air. Many thanks for taking the time to post.

Also, thank you for pointing out that geography diversity is also at placy because I was gettting quite frustrated with the parents on this thread and on this board taking the lazy cop out to automatically point fingers at BIPOC kids and blame them for taking their kids's spot and not consider the fact that being from an area that has already been oversaturated with alums could be the problem but it is quite easy to point to shift blame to those who area already the historical butt of finger pointing and blame in these here United States.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can get the same/better education in public. Go waste money somewhere else.

I bet it's mostly so the parents can brag.

Dang. That’s some expensive brag. Especially since we rarely bring it up. At least if I spent that money on expensive cars and flashy clothes, my privilege would be much more apparent. Stupid me!

Rarely bring it up? I have yet to meet a private school parent that doesn’t bring it up FORTHWITH either as a humblebrag or an indirect hint. Not to mention the bumper stickers and sweatshirts. It’s all meant to designate their privilege and access against the nasty poor plebes who have to rough it out with the gangs, bjs and heroin needles of the publics.
You guys are disgusting. My public school kids will outpace yours in every area of life as my public educated husband outearns and has built a better life than every single private school classmate of mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe we're not sending our kids to private school for a guaranteed admission at an ivy

Not OP. But you obviously can't read. OP said IF you're sending your kids to the Big 3 for college admissions purposes.

If you're not, the warning doesn't apply to you. Although I bet you're lying to yourself about why you are sending your kid there.

DP: Actually OP dramatically claimed that the end of all private schools is near (apparently because her kid didn't get into an Ivy). So pointing out that most people are not in private schools for such a dumb and narrow minded reason is actually on point. Only 11 seniors at our school even applied to Ivy league schools. It's just not as big a thing as some posters believe.

Lolllll dying laughing. Only 11 seniors at your private school were overinflated and overconfident enough to believe they could take a whack at an IVY. How many actually got in? What a waste of money and time.