WWYD, husband is awful cook

[Anonymous]

Maybe I am making something out of nothing--however. As the division of labor goes, I always cooked. Now I have started grad school on top of working so two nights a week I am at class until 830, home around 915 and other evenings I usually get through papers or 300+ pages of reading. My husband really stepped up to the plate and took on all the cooking. But the thing is, he's awful! I really had no idea. The disasters are such that I often am staring at sort of a pile of, like, boiled meat and then I sneak downstairs to eat a piece of bread and some cheese for dinner. I have sent him recipes and grocery lists to no avail. I am so touched at how much he's helping so part of me wants to let it go. But I also have sort of stopped eating in the evenings and we're wasting a lot of food. Not to mention the fact I don't exactly have the time to do it so I hesitate bringing it up. I could figure it out but it would be a huge burden. Would you let this go? Or just carve out the time on Sundays to make meals for the whole week?

[Anonymous]

Seeing as you are so busy, I would vote for spending time together cooking on Sundays. That way you can have some input and also spend time together, and no need to criticize his cooking.

[Anonymous]

Get Hello Fresh or Blue Apron - he will learn to cook from those easy recipes with picture instructions. Hello Fresh is easier in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

Learning to cook can take a little time. I suggest taking a couples cooking class and having one or two go-to basic cookbooks that he can draw from. Also, let him know that pasta night and sandwich night are perfectly acceptable during the week.

[Anonymous]

Cooking takes a while to master. It's great that your DH is taking on this task. Maybe you can figure out a few simple meals and help him learn when you have time. I like Rachel Ray's 30-minute meals cookbooks. The recipes are straightforward and taste quite good.
Or you could do soups, salads, sandwiches for dinner.

[Anonymous]

He needs to learn to cook.

[Anonymous]

I would make it about saving money by not wasting food, "Hey, I really appreciate you cooking during the week, but I have some tricks up my sleeve to streamline things and make sure nothing goes to waste. What if we do some meal-planning amd prep together on Sundays to set us up for the week?"

Then you do it together and he gets to learn some basics under your direct tutelage . Then have some really great sex afterwards because he sounds like a keeper .

[Anonymous]

OP here! I really didn't think about doing Sundays together to half the spent cooking and hang out. Thanks all! V smart

[Anonymous]

Whatever you do, don't find fault. He's stepping up and working hard to fill the hole. Letting it go is one option. If you try to find ways to improve, stay on the appreciative and constructive side.

[Anonymous]

Get a grill. My husband had been useless in the kitchen, but after we got a grill and he learned the grilling times for basics, he makes about half of our meals in the warmer time of the year. He is proud of it, too.
So I am doubly glad that the weather is finally starting to warm up!

[Anonymous]

I would agree with picking out meals together, maybe taking a cooking class, but keep the prodding v v v light. He sounds awesome that he's so willing to make this work for you.

[Anonymous]

This might be one of those things that men say we are not appreciative. He sounds like a good guy just to take over the cooking. Focus on his willingness to try and not just go buy dinner.

Anyways, cooking takes a while to learn. It's a creativity task. Some people have it or they don't. Some people can identify most spices in the food they eat, others have no idea. Either you cook together and create something you both like and he'll learn from demonstration (hopefully). Or look at recipes together. I don't usually follow it but it works for my DH. He's very precise on what to put in the food and try to make it taste exactly the way it's SUPPOSE to. I look at recipes to get an idea. How much spices depends on what's available. What I cook sometimes may never be repeated-because I don't follow recipes.
Sometimes when eating out, I would say, this tastes like this spice or that spice. Eventually, you kinda know what to add to cook your food.

Or hey, just ask him to bring out the crockpot and cook something in it-give some tips like the spices only.

The mess from cooking is another story.

[Anonymous]

I am a husband who likes to cook, and my wife and kids will tell me things they like/dislike. I don't take it as criticism if the discussion is constructive and fun, and I have gotten to know my family much better. We regularly try to plan meals/grocery shopping. Maybe it would help you husband to plan more simply meals.

[Anonymous]

You obviously need a divorce STAT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a husband who likes to cook, and my wife and kids will tell me things they like/dislike. I don't take it as criticism if the discussion is constructive and fun, and I have gotten to know my family much better. We regularly try to plan meals/grocery shopping. Maybe it would help you husband to plan more simply meals.

+1 -- it serves no one if he does not know that what he is doing is not working. There is a way to gently let him know and offer to teach and work together. My husband is a GREAT cook, but he knows I don't care for his spaghetti and I know what he does not like of mine. It doesn't have to be a kick in a teeth, just a hey...try this...