Anyone's Child Going Far Away for College?

[Anonymous]

How will you cope? Occidental with it's full ride was exciting news. But it suddenly hit me how far away he'll be. How will I cope? What if he needs to get home and/or I need to get to him?

Waaaahhhhhhh....

[Anonymous]

Mine (junior) so far is uninterested in going anywhere that requires a plane flight. I am sure Occidental is a fine school, but really, is it so different from schools here on the East coast to justify the distance? Or is it just that people apply to all the schools that meet their criteria and then choose based on where they get in with the best financial package?

This is not a snarky question. My DS would also like a liberal arts college, and I am not sure how many to visit and whether we should expand our search beyond a car drive away, which is what we have limited it to so far.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine (junior) so far is uninterested in going anywhere that requires a plane flight. I am sure Occidental is a fine school, but really, is it so different from schools here on the East coast to justify the distance? Or is it just that people apply to all the schools that meet their criteria and then choose based on where they get in with the best financial package?

This is not a snarky question. My DS would also like a liberal arts college, and I am not sure how many to visit and whether we should expand our search beyond a car drive away, which is what we have limited it to so far.

Yes, we applied to schools that meet the criteria then base the final decision on the financial aid package.

At the time we were generating the list of schools, LA seemed like a great (though unlikely) choice.

Once the news of the full ride came in, I was over the moon! Reality just set in.

If I had it to do all over again, I would definitely NOT even look at LA. I'm still considering someplace closer even if it requires a small loan and for me to come out of pocket a bit.

[Anonymous]

Both of my two oldest go to school in the Bay Area, though at different schools. To us, part of the college budget was the cost of flying back and forth (for them and us).

If something horrific happened and they needed us, we could be there in about 7 hours.

We do a lot of Facetiming.

[Anonymous]

Oh my - our 6th grader is insisting to go "as far as possible" away for college.

[Anonymous]

Full Ride. That is hard to beat! LA will have beautiful weather. I have family out there and they love it. Start thinking about all the stuff you can do when you visit. It will be a nice vacation for you.

[Anonymous]

My sisters and I also went as far away as possible for college. The closest school I applied to was an 8 hour drive away and that was verging on too close

[Anonymous]

I am sure by the first semester he will meet people from California who have family in the area in case of an emergency. Just get a list a numbers once he starts connecting with people. There are lots of good health care options in the area. It is better than going to school in a rural area where health care is further away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How will you cope? Occidental with it's full ride was exciting news. But it suddenly hit me how far away he'll be. How will I cope? What if he needs to get home and/or I need to get to him?

Waaaahhhhhhh....

I went to college 1500 miles away from my parents. I'm not sure how different it was really than for my siblings, who were 300-600 miles away. I never had to get home suddenly (nor can I remember any of my peers needing to rush home), nor did I need my parents to rush to me. And this was all in an era before FaceTime! Really, it's OK to let go!

[Anonymous]

I feel so much better reading the responses. A little. I'm reminded that my precious little snowflake isn't the only one going so far away. And that he will be fine. Which I already knew. It's ME who's struggling with it.

[Anonymous]

My younger sister is in Paris. We're 21 yrs apart so in a lot of ways I stepped in as her mom when needed. She's from my dads 2nd marriage. Any way-- she's having a blast. We skype and FaceTime. I send lots of care packages of American goodies. She's a jr now and I helped her get a summer internship so she won't be home before graduation. I suspect she's probably never coming home.

My kids and I love to visit. Just like any other college students, she loves when the parents come and visit --- we end up taking her and her friends out to eat, go shopping for apt stuff, etc. the good thing is that I don't have to fill a big fridge when I'm there. Food is good, I just wish the airfare wasn't so expensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine (junior) so far is uninterested in going anywhere that requires a plane flight. I am sure Occidental is a fine school, but really, is it so different from schools here on the East coast to justify the distance? Or is it just that people apply to all the schools that meet their criteria and then choose based on where they get in with the best financial package?

This is not a snarky question. My DS would also like a liberal arts college, and I am not sure how many to visit and whether we should expand our search beyond a car drive away, which is what we have limited it to so far.

Because for some SLACs, geography matters. An east coast kid sometimes has better luck getting into a Midwest or west coast school than an east coast one, and at schools that offer merit aid, more chance of getting aid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel so much better reading the responses. A little. I'm reminded that my precious little snowflake isn't the only one going so far away. And that he will be fine. Which I already knew. It's ME who's struggling with it.

It's OK OP. I think many, many parents feel like you do! It is a big step.

[Anonymous]

For me, the issue was cost of flying back and forth. DC was really interested in a school in CA, but we reminded him that he'd be spending lots and lots of money he probably wouldn't have on coming home and going back out for breaks. We warned him that he'd have to be OK with only coming home once or twice per year.

[Anonymous]

I did it in reverse--I was the California kid coming to the east coast for school. It was the best thing I could have done for myself; it really forced independence and was an amazing growth opportunity. When the closest family is a 6 hour flight away, you really have to blossom on your own.

It was great. I spent holidays with friends, found internships entirely on my own as opposed to being able to lean on family connections, and truly experienced a new culture that I couldn't have found in California.

The downside for my parents is that I met my husband in college, so I became a permanent east coaster...but I am so glad I went far away for school (even if I wish every winter I was still in southern california!)