Anyone's Child Going Far Away for College?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel so much better reading the responses. A little. I'm reminded that my precious little snowflake isn't the only one going so far away. And that he will be fine. Which I already knew. It's ME who's struggling with it.

My son was an Ivy contender who was a shy, sweet mama's boy who competed against himself, not other kids. An ultra-competitive school would not be the right environment for him. That's why he went to Stanford. We agreed that either he would fly home or at least one of us would fly out to visit him once each month. We did this his entire freshman year. In his second year he went to a friend's house for Thanksgiving and went on a spring break trip with friends. In his third year he would tell us "We don't need to do a trip next month" many times.

I went across the country for college. If my parents had shown up every month to visit, i would have been mortified.

Yep, and my daughter three years his junior, feels the exact same way. But that's what makes him a mama's boy.

[Anonymous]

Question: so if your child attends college where you have to fly there, do you rent a storage locker for all their stuff??!!

Do you porn the boxes on a local friend to store in their garage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Question: so if your child attends college where you have to fly there, do you rent a storage locker for all their stuff??!!

Do you porn the boxes on a local friend to store in their garage?

We bought a condo with a garage and storage space, which we rented out (minus the storage space and part of the garage) the first two years while he lived in campus. Then he moved off campus to the condo so clearing out of the dorm was no longer an issue.

[Anonymous]

What stuff? I brought two suitcases of clothes to college and bought what I needed there. Furniture, etc. was pretty much a legacy of whoever lived there before me. It stayed with the room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Question: so if your child attends college where you have to fly there, do you rent a storage locker for all their stuff??!!

Do you porn the boxes on a local friend to store in their garage?

My DD goes close by so brings it all home. Her friends who are from far away have a storage locker. Some share them. Some colleges provide on campus storage - mine did which was useful since it was a flight away.

To the 2 suitcase poster - ha ha! Even I took more than that to college 30 years ago, plus accumulated some things while I was there. Plus I had a bike, ski equipment, the ubiquitous milk crates, stereo, bedding (which now includes the foam egg crate pads and other bulky items). Def. more than you can take home in 2 suitcases at the end of the school year! My DD's stuff more than fills a large SUV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does it really matter if they are close or far away? I'm being serious, not snarky.

How much did you go home in college? How many times did your parents visit?

I went to school about a 3 hour drive from home. The first time I went home was for Thanksgiving. I never went home for spring or summer break. My parents usually came to visit once or twice a year, though I'm fairly certain they didn't come my first year until family weekend in the spring.

OP here, and this is soooo true. You are soooo right.

I was nearly down the street from my house but didn't go home unless the dorm forced me out for vacations. It is true that once you get onto that campus you enter a completely new world, and it doesn't matter if the school is 10 miles away or 10,000 you go into another zone in college. You don't (want to) see your family.

And I know my dc, summer camp was no problem for either of us and that was in New England so I'm sure I'll adjust. The unknowing leading up to it is probably the worst part of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question: so if your child attends college where you have to fly there, do you rent a storage locker for all their stuff??!!

Do you porn the boxes on a local friend to store in their garage?

My DD goes close by so brings it all home. Her friends who are from far away have a storage locker. Some share them. Some colleges provide on campus storage - mine did which was useful since it was a flight away.

To the 2 suitcase poster - ha ha! Even I took more than that to college 30 years ago, plus accumulated some things while I was there. Plus I had a bike, ski equipment, the ubiquitous milk crates, stereo, bedding (which now includes the foam egg crate pads and other bulky items). Def. more than you can take home in 2 suitcases at the end of the school year! My DD's stuff more than fills a large SUV.

OP here. I was almost as bad as 2-Suitcase Guy. Besides the clothes, there was a TV, stereo and bedding. I don't think DS will have much more than that. I simply packed everything at the end of the year, and suspect we'll do the same for him. Some schools rent items like refrigerators and microwaves (which are not allowed in most dorm rooms) and with kids being able to watch and listen to whatever they want on their phones or laptops, I don't think I'll have to worry about lugging a TV or stereo set cross country.

We'll see. I never thought of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 5yo DD informed me that I'd be driving her every day to *graduate school*! . OP, I dread the idea of her going really far away to college. She'd be fine, but I'd be so sad. Congrats to your son for the free ride, though. That's amazing!!

That's cute. I don't really have skin in the game either since my oldest's only six, but she insists she's going to Georgetown or American and coming home EVERY night for dinner We'll see how she feels about that in twelve years!

[Anonymous]

DC wants to go to school in California and has three top choices. If accepted, I will be happy, and it doesn't hurt there're a bunch of relatives out there.

I would never think of standing in the way of an opportunity of a lifetime if DC got into the first choice school. Holidays will probably be spent in California and gives us a reason to go west to spend time with the family. Win-win for everybody.

[Anonymous]

I lived a six hour train ride away but only came home for thanksgiving, Christmas, and spring break. And sometimes only Xmas and one of the others.

Your kid really shouldn't come home from college more often than that. I think it is a little weird when college kids come home on the weekend a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What stuff? I brought two suitcases of clothes to college and bought what I needed there. Furniture, etc. was pretty much a legacy of whoever lived there before me. It stayed with the room.

I brought waaaaaay too much crap to college with me. Moving every year was a huge hassle. When I moved abroad for grad school with nothing but two suitcases, I realized I had been dumb in college to burden myself with so much stuff.

Especially now, since computers and Stereos are laptops and iPods, it shouldn't be hard.

But the California kids at my east coast college stored stuff on campus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I lived a six hour train ride away but only came home for thanksgiving, Christmas, and spring break. And sometimes only Xmas and one of the others.

Your kid really shouldn't come home from college more often than that. I think it is a little weird when college kids come home on the weekend a lot.

Wonder how many college kids who come home a lot become graduates who come home to stay?

[Anonymous]

My kid's in England for here undergrad. You'll live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I lived a six hour train ride away but only came home for thanksgiving, Christmas, and spring break. And sometimes only Xmas and one of the others.

Your kid really shouldn't come home from college more often than that. I think it is a little weird when college kids come home on the weekend a lot.

I think it's really up to the kid and the family dynamic. Some kids enjoy seeing their family more than others. What worked for you might not work for others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid's in England for here undergrad. You'll live.

Do you have family there who can run interference if something happens with DC?

That makes a huge difference.