Struggling with idea of getting DC baptized
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Anonymous
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I was baptized and raised Catholic but at this point, in my 30s, I don't go to church and have a lot of issues with things like the refusal to ordain women, contraception, the amount of money and property the organization has in its coffers (while Jesus Christ himself was a poor man), and of course, the sex abuse scandal.
However, DH and I celebrate Christmas and I'd like DC to have an understanding of Christmas, Easter, the religious practices of our ancestors, an understanding of the teachings of Jesus Christ, etc. I just feel weird getting him baptized when my own internal dialogue is something along the lines of "I can't stomach a religion led by a bunch of old men who think I shouldn't use birth control... these same old men covered up the rampant abuse of innocent children but I'm I'm supposed to ignore that and focus on the big picture (Jesus Christ) because that's what counts, oh and never mind the fact that this is one of the wealthiest organizations on earth with trillions of dollars in property while Christ asked his followers to give up their riches..." I do believe in the messages of Christ, to treat others well, to value life, help others, etc. My parents, of course, would love to see their grandchildren all baptized, receive communion, be confirmed, but it's not up to my parents who I'm sad to say are one of those Catholics who if you bring up the sex abuse scandal respond with "but rabbis have been caught too!" and here's an article about it. I also assume DC will have a lot of questions about religion themselves one day and quite frankly, I can't answer them and refuse to answer them with sentences that start with "Well, Father so and so says..." Anyone else facing this? |
Anonymous
| I'm not facing it (we baptized) but it really doesn't sound like you should have your child baptized in the Catholic Church. Have you considered other churches, such as Episcopalian? |
Anonymous
| What's the problem if you don't have him baptized? Who would know? |
Anonymous
| You have described me to a tee. I got married in the church to please my family and I now regret that I was not strong enough to stand up for my own beliefs and value system. I am not having DS baptized. I would like to find a way to have religious education but it will not be in the Catholic church, perhaps another Christian religion. |
Anonymous
+1 Episcopalian here. You would be very welcome. E Church encourages questioning/examining faith, ordains women, etc. |
Anonymous
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We're the opposite of PP. We stuck with it. It was important to our families.
I've decided that I'd rather be on the inside pushing back than give up on the catholic church. If we all leave, there won't be anyone but the apologists and conservatives left. So we're in. Oldest will be having first communion this year. Will continue to go to religious education until at least youngest finishes first communion. After that, who knows. Interestingly, oldest seems very disinterested in church/god/religion entirely. I think youngest is more the type that will get into it. |
Anonymous
| I agree OP. If you don't go to church you really can't get your child baptized. You really have to be an active parishioner for that (I say this as someone who is not active and decided a baptism would be pretty hypocritical). Do churches even let your children get baptized if you are not active parishioners? |
Anonymous
| Why not wait a few years? Let the child decide when DC is 16 or so. |
Anonymous
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OP here. I've considered the Episcopalian Church. I think it's important to question any religious belief system-- I couldn't see telling my DC NOT to question something and just "have faith," doing so seems against human nature and totalitarian. Strange, I come from very conservative parents who are against having a big government but who, based on what they say, would have no issue with the Catholic church telling everyone how to live and deciding who gets what from the government.
That said, it's a tough call for me. when asked what happens when we die, my answer is I don't know and I'm comfortable with that. How can I send DC to religious ed where they talk about heaven and then lie if he asks me what I think. DH isn't Christian and I'm not going to tell DC that DH is going someplace else because he isn't baptized. I feel like DC is just going to get confused if I can't get with the program. But, again, I'd like DC to have some sort of tie to Christianity and the holidays we celebrate (we will be celebrating easter and christmas with my parents) and decide when he's older how far he'd like to take it, if at all. |
Anonymous
+2 The issues you list are tied up in the history, politics and doctrine of the Roman Catholic church. The Orthodox churches broke from the Catholics in the 9th century, and the Protestants starting in the 14th century. If you want liturgy, music, teaching, pastoral care and community outreach without supporting the Catholic church, you could find a new place. The Episcopal church is a natural fit because you'd find the elements of the service (mass) and the church calendar pretty familiar. If you don't want to baptize DC as a Catholic, you could wait till you were established somewhere, and have DC baptized there. CS Lewis talks pretty eloquently about choosing a church at the end of his preface to Mere Christianity, if a book like that would interest you. |
Anonymous
The problem is the child will go to hell if s/he dies. This isn't about who "knows." |
Anonymous
| Baptize the child yourself. |
Anonymous
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Why don't you just do your own religious training if it's just to get to the point of celebrating two holidays with grandparents? If you don't believe in the basic practice of the Catholic faith, don't fake it. You won't have to do religious education through a church.
I am a practicing Catholic and yet some of my most faithful friends are ones who came to it later in life. Just provide a wholesome background at home and be open as the years go on. |
Anonymous
If heaven is full of people who think this way I'll take my chances in hell. |
Anonymous
Hey, OP is Catholic. That's the dogma. That's the issue she's struggling with. How dare you be so smug and intolerant? |