Fear of Flying - anyone have it and beat it?

[Anonymous]

So, I have a pretty strong fear of flying. I don't let it keep me from traveling because that would be crazy but I get super anxious on the day of travel and kind of panic in the air when there is turbulence (yes, I know that turbulence doesn't mean anything bad is going to happen, doesn't matter, this whole thing isn't logical). I already take Xanax and it helps but not completely. I haven't been on a long plane ride in a while and this summer DH and I are going to Europe with my two kids, 5 and 2. I am petrified of the flight, just petrified, like I lay awake at night thinking about it and how nervous I'm going to be. (This Malaysian airlines plane crash has not helped.) I'm thinking I'll be too scared if we have turbulence at all to help do the necessary kid stuff and that is not good for DH, plus I don't really want the kids to see how scared I am.

So, has anyone had a pretty healthy fear of flying and conquered it? Did you see a therapist? A hypnotist? Read a book? Am looking for any ideas of something concrete that actually worked. Talking myself through it and thinking it through logically so far have not helped. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

What worked for me was a job where I logged about 25k air miles per year for a few years. One does get desensitized to the fear over time.

One thing that did help when I was dealing with it -- United has a feature that on some flights lets you listen to air traffic control during the flight. I was on a very turbulent flight and happened to turn it on, and it was amazing how much the obvious boredom in everyone's voice made it crystal clear that this was just another day at the office, and it really is just the equivalent of riding the bus, except probably safer. It just seemed so orderly and under control, and perhaps I am weird but I found that all quite reassuring.

I think you can livestream this type of audio online and it might be worth listening to; your fear might be a control type of issue and just having some more knowledge might comfort you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What worked for me was a job where I logged about 25k air miles per year for a few years. One does get desensitized to the fear over time.

One thing that did help when I was dealing with it -- United has a feature that on some flights lets you listen to air traffic control during the flight. I was on a very turbulent flight and happened to turn it on, and it was amazing how much the obvious boredom in everyone's voice made it crystal clear that this was just another day at the office, and it really is just the equivalent of riding the bus, except probably safer. It just seemed so orderly and under control, and perhaps I am weird but I found that all quite reassuring.

I think you can livestream this type of audio online and it might be worth listening to; your fear might be a control type of issue and just having some more knowledge might comfort you.

I do this, too, when possible and agree it helps me relax. I also watch the screen that shows the plane's location and altitude so I can make sure we are still on track. My DH flies a lot for work now and I agree with the PP that the more he flies, the less I worry about flying.

[Anonymous]

I got over it, pretty much. Things that have helped me:

- read a book that likened turbulence to bumps in a road when you're driving. for some reason that really made me feel better.
- watching the flight attendants. like the PP who said listening to traffic control helped (i totally get that), when I feel freaked out and I watch the flight attendants totally not bothered, it helps me realize it's no big deal.
- thinking about how many thousands of flights there are that land safely every day.

[Anonymous]

My fear was not of flying, but it's similar enough that I think my experiences apply.

I had frequent and debilitating panic/anxiety attacks through my 20s and early 30s that are now much more infrequent. I worked with a cognitive behavioral therapist to learn techniques for (a) minimizing anxiety and anxious thoughts and (b) coping with panic during an attack. I would definitely recommend seeking professional help from a good CBT.

If you are looking for a book, the "Anxiety and Phobia Workbook" is supposed to be excellent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What worked for me was a job where I logged about 25k air miles per year for a few years. One does get desensitized to the fear over time.

One thing that did help when I was dealing with it -- United has a feature that on some flights lets you listen to air traffic control during the flight. I was on a very turbulent flight and happened to turn it on, and it was amazing how much the obvious boredom in everyone's voice made it crystal clear that this was just another day at the office, and it really is just the equivalent of riding the bus, except probably safer. It just seemed so orderly and under control, and perhaps I am weird but I found that all quite reassuring.

I think you can livestream this type of audio online and it might be worth listening to; your fear might be a control type of issue and just having some more knowledge might comfort you.

+1 to all of this.

Work had me flying 50K miles for several years in a row before my kids were born (and I listened to the cockpit chatter on pretty much every flight that made it available). It really does get easier the more you force yourself to do it.

[Anonymous]

Now that my kids are grown and if I'm flying alone, I'm no longer afraid. I was more worried about what would happen to "us".

[Anonymous]

Isn't there an online tool? I was thinking if doing this myself.

[Anonymous]

I have a fear that stems from my claustrophobia. I think sitting at a window seat will help but I cant sit in the back of the plane and when in the front I can never ever turn around and look at the long narrow row behind me, otherwise I'll start to freak out.

I haven't flown in 8 years and I'm planning a trip in the next year and I have anxiety even thinking about it. I really want to get over this claustrophobia. I cant even take metro trains.

I'd love to seek therapy, for those that have done it how do you find a therapist? And once you do what's the protocol, do you call and just say what you want help with or do you schedule an appointment and start the discussion there?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a fear that stems from my claustrophobia. I think sitting at a window seat will help but I cant sit in the back of the plane and when in the front I can never ever turn around and look at the long narrow row behind me, otherwise I'll start to freak out.

I haven't flown in 8 years and I'm planning a trip in the next year and I have anxiety even thinking about it. I really want to get over this claustrophobia. I cant even take metro trains.

Hello, (psychological) twin.

I also am claustrophobic and not a BIT bothered by the normal flying fears of turbulence, crashes, take offs and landings. I can't seem to deal with the overwhelming fear of being trapped in that airless chamber (to me, anyway). The last time I flew, with my DH, we had the bulkhead seat up in first class. That helped a bit, mostly because I felt this gave me some privacy (and that exclusive bathroom, which I needed often with my nervous stomach). On this trip my GP prescribed a blood pressure medicine (Propanol) that supposedly mitigates nervous symptoms of racing heart, hot flushes. This did not work for me very effectively and it was sheer will and white knuckling that got me through the flight.

I've since been rxed Xanax for situational anxiety that I might take 4 times a year at most. I've not flown since my harrowing experience, but would be willing to at least try again with Xanax.

[Anonymous]

I used the SOAR program which is available online. It's not perfect (or cheap) but it helped a great deal.
It's a mix of education about flight and cognitive techniques.

[Anonymous]

I didn't fly for almost 5 years because I was so afraid to fly. I finally decided I really wanted my children to travel so I needed to pull myself together. I did some online searching and I found a website that had a fear of flying course that was helpful. I can't remember what it was but I didn't pay for it. Maybe it was this (it was a while ago)... http://www.fearofflyinghelp.com/. I wasn't 100% cured and I still get a little nervous but not nearly as much as I used to. Whenever I do start to get nervous I just look at the fight attendants. I figure they--more than anyone--know when to be nervous.

Here's another one that you pay for: http://www.fearofflying.com/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a fear that stems from my claustrophobia. I think sitting at a window seat will help but I cant sit in the back of the plane and when in the front I can never ever turn around and look at the long narrow row behind me, otherwise I'll start to freak out.

I haven't flown in 8 years and I'm planning a trip in the next year and I have anxiety even thinking about it. I really want to get over this claustrophobia. I cant even take metro trains.

Hello, (psychological) twin.

I also am claustrophobic and not a BIT bothered by the normal flying fears of turbulence, crashes, take offs and landings. I can't seem to deal with the overwhelming fear of being trapped in that airless chamber (to me, anyway). The last time I flew, with my DH, we had the bulkhead seat up in first class. That helped a bit, mostly because I felt this gave me some privacy (and that exclusive bathroom, which I needed often with my nervous stomach). On this trip my GP prescribed a blood pressure medicine (Propanol) that supposedly mitigates nervous symptoms of racing heart, hot flushes. This did not work for me very effectively and it was sheer will and white knuckling that got me through the flight.

I've since been rxed Xanax for situational anxiety that I might take 4 times a year at most. I've not flown since my harrowing experience, but would be willing to at least try again with Xanax.

You got it spot on, the take-off, turbulence, landings, etc dont bother. It's being trapped in such a teeny place. I have been told I should get something like Xanax for flying and I might really look into it. This summer I'm going to have to help my son practice riding metro so he is all set for his new school next year. I'm already dreading it. I can handle being on the train as long as it is moving. As soon as it stops in the tunnels I start to get worked up. Same with elevators, I'm OK if it's actually moving, my feat is being trapped in one. Every time I get in an elevator I am scared it's going to get stuck in between floors. Another tough one for me is driving through long tunnels. The Baltimore Harbor tunnel, that tunnel that takes you to Brooklyn and there's one in Boston that I'm specifically thinking of. I'm OK if we are moving the whole time, but if we get stuck in traffic while in a long tunnel I start to have issues. And this stuff is getting worse as I get older so I really want to get a handle on it.

/sorry for the rambling, guess I needed to get this all out.

[Anonymous]

I take Ativan to fly now. It has helped me enormously.

[Anonymous]

http://www.fearofflyinghelp.com/