Just lost 50 pounds and friends say I look ugly
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Anonymous
As the title says, I am 49 and I just lost 50 pounds. My BMI is 23.8, so not skinny by any means but my 3 colleagues who are also very good friends had a serious chat with me to tell me that I had lost my looks, that I look like an ethiopian refugee/nazi war cprisoner. I know they care about me and are telling me what most wouldn't. I had initially shared my plan to lose a further 10 pounds just to be in the comfortable BMI zone and they strongly advised against it because my face is looking terrible. Before losing the weright they'd tell me how young I looked and how beautiful my skin was with no wrinkles or lines. Now, while they say I still don't have lines or wrinkles my face looks really unhealthy - like I need to eat  .
I really want to maintain my healthy weight but I also worry about the points they raise. My husband has not said anything but he prefers slim so I guess he's happy/hasn;t noticed my face. Has anyone else encountered this problem? Did you just accept that as older women we sacrifice eitither our faces or our butts? I feel quite bad about these comments. |
Anonymous
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In middle age you have to choose between your face and your fanny.
But maybe they weren't trying to tell you you are ugly; they thought you were too thin. |
Anonymous
| My MIL recently lost 50 pounds. Shes way too skinny and really doesn't look healthy |
Anonymous
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Congrats on an amazing accomplishment!
They are jealous and will try to sabatoge you with baked goods. Ignore the haters - how do you FEEL physically in your new body? Are you stronger and healthier? Maybe go to a dept store and get new makeup to celebrate your weightloss. |
Anonymous
| it's all about how you feel. maybe a new haircut or wardrobe will help match you to your new body. everyone's face has wrinkles at your age so don't worry about it! |
Anonymous
| haters. |
Anonymous
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I do believe the "fanny or face" thing is somewhat true. But getting yourself to a BMI where you feel comfortable is important as well.
It may take your friends a while to get used to your new look, so I would wait a while. Do you feel like you're eating healthfully, getting enough rest, etc? Maybe a makeup/hair or wardrobe refresher would help you feel more confident about your new look. Congratulations! |
Anonymous
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23.8 is a healthy BMI.
You'll have the last "laugh" when other people around you get diabetes, arthritis, heart disease. |
Anonymous
| They are being hags because they are worried about competition. In all reality, your face probably is a little gaunt at the moment. I lost 110 pounds over the span of a year. When I got to my goal, my face did look a little drawn. However, over the next six months, my body adjusted and my face looked much better. Once you lose it, your body takes a while to put it all back in the right spots. Don't let the haters get you down. They are jealous of your ability to be successful at something that many people just can muster. |
Anonymous
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Oh Op, your coworkers sound so rude! Ethiopian refugee/nazi war prisoner - wow. Just wow.
Congrats on losing the weight. Give it time. Wait for your skin to tighten back up a bit. Unless you are still overweight to an unhealthy degree (doesn't sound like you are), I would just focus on maintaining for a little while. Eat as healthy as you can, exercise/strength train for muscle tone. Drink lots of water and use moisturizer. And I agree - do something to celebrate your weight loss. Maybe some new clothes. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
| My sister lost a similar amount of weight at fifty and it aged her ten years. She ended up getting eye surgery because the weight loss accentuated the bags under her eyes. |
Anonymous
That's not true. I'm 48, 30 pounds overweight and only very light wrinkles. |
Anonymous
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As you age you lose collagen in your face so naturally that will get noticed first. Sounds like someone is jealous.
Congratulations on feeling and looking better. Don't let others tear you down. |
Anonymous
| facelift |