How many men have you slept with?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 30 and single. I have yet to have a serious relationship, I've had about 30 partners

That means at least two a year

Sometimes more. I had some fun in college up until my late 20s. I'm sexually monogamous now

Any attractive woman who hasn't had a serious relationship by 25?? Something's gotta be wrong psychologically.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:somewhere between 30 and 35. Met DH when I was 36, monogamous since. Love DH, but sometimes I miss how much damn fun I had in between about 28 and 35.

does your husband know you miss all those random cocks inside you?

Probably not. (NP here). Does that irk you? Does it bother you that women have these sexual memories and you probably don't measure up?

Why should sexuality be a contest where people are judged? A good number of people have sexual issues and adding pressure to perform doesn't make it easier.

NP, the first PP seems to be the only person here with an issue, and instead of owning up to it he tries to throw it on to women who are doing just fine.

The issues will be with her husband and kids when she inevitably cheats. Once trash, always trash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many people want there to be consequences for female promiscuity. They want women who dare have sex to end up alone, or divorced early, or unhappy. Oh, but boo hoo hoo, that's not how life works. The "slut" may find a great guy and live happily ever after, while you end up cheated on and divorced after "saving yourself." That's real life. Deal with it.

There are consequences (unintended pregnancy, STD's) as well as ones for society when many women go down this path. Just because there are more promiscuous women than in the past doesn't make them marriage material all of a sudden. Husbands of these women, if they were being honest, would prefer a woman with 3 partners over one with 30.

As a guy, no way. You are all wrong. I want a woman with a high drive.

Besides, there are no consequences "for society" when anyone goes down this path.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:How come men care about a woman's previous sex life but unless the guy was a porn star, women couldn't care less about a man's previous history? Seriously, I have never heard of a woman saying a man had too many sex partners.

I'd love to hear someone explain this. DH freaked out over my number (30), but his number is 60-70. He thought 3 would have been a more acceptable number for me.

Your DH is a hypocrite. But here is why some men freak out or become incensed by women with high numbers (as viewed by a man who once felt this way when I was young and insecure):

For your average man, sex isn't that easy to come by. Lots of asking women out, lots of approaching women in bars, coffee shops, and lots of rejection. When you find the right woman, and she actually returns your interest, for the average guy, it takes time to then build the connection, to be thoughtful and creative and win her over. Then, when the connection is established, it leads (hopefully) to sex.

So when average guy finds out he is number 37. He assumes most of guys 1-36 were the hot jocks, bad boy, wall st. trader cocky guys who did nothing other than be hot, confident and talk a good game and sealed the deal with minimal effort. Average guy feels duped, like he had to jump through a million hoops and while the sex is special to him, it isn't to her, or so it seems.

Or look at it this way. How a woman would feel if she had to push her boyfriend to take her out on a date, any date, only to find out he had taken 35 other women on lavish European vacations.

I was the nice guy in high school and college, the honest, fun, nice guy (not the brooding entitled nice guy). A bit chubby, kind of funny, lots of friends. I had sex with the occasional long term girlfriend, but again, lots of effort to find someone interested in me. And it did sting to find out she slept with the football players, the frat guys, etc. Then, after I got my MBA, lost weight, hit the mid-20s DC scene, got some confidence - women were suddenly everywhere.

My numbers are in the 40s. I met my DW, hers are in the teens. I wouldn't have cared if hers were higher because I played in the same pond, I had the fun of pre-marital sex, with lots of fun and not so fun nights. If I missed that, I could see being resentful.

Make sense?

Great job explaining, you very succinctly posted exactly what I felt years ago without ever being able to put my finger on.
Nice work chief!

+2. I don't think women with high numbers understand just how hard an average guy has to work to get those kind of numbers. It's like white privilege only for attractive women. Privilege means you can be blissfully unaware and/or victim blame.

There is nobody more privileged in America (and possibly the world) than upper-middle class white women, especially the attractive ones.