Reply to How many men have you slept with?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "How many men have you slept with?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How come men care about a woman's previous sex life but unless the guy was a porn star, women couldn't care less about a man's previous history?  Seriously, I have never heard of a woman saying a man had too many sex partners.[/quote]

I'd love to hear someone explain this. DH freaked out over my number (30), but his number is 60-70. He thought 3 would have been a more acceptable number for me.[/quote]

Your DH is a hypocrite.  But here is why some men freak out or become incensed by women with high numbers (as viewed by a man who once felt this way when I was young and insecure):

For your average man, sex isn't that easy to come by.  Lots of asking women out, lots of approaching women in bars, coffee shops, and lots of rejection.  When you find the right woman, and she actually returns your interest, for the average guy, it takes time to then build the connection, to be thoughtful and creative and win her over.  Then, when the connection is established, it leads (hopefully) to sex.

So when average guy finds out he is number 37.  He assumes most of guys 1-36 were the hot jocks, bad boy, wall st. trader cocky guys who did nothing other than be hot, confident and talk a good game and sealed the deal with minimal effort.  Average guy feels duped, like he had to jump through a million hoops and while the sex is special to him, it isn't to her, or so it seems.

Or look at it this way.  How a woman would feel if she had to push her boyfriend to take her out on a date, any date, only to find out he had taken 35 other women on lavish European vacations.

I was the nice guy in high school and college, the honest, fun, nice guy (not the brooding entitled nice guy).  A bit chubby, kind of funny, lots of friends.  I had sex with the occasional long term girlfriend, but again, lots of effort to find someone interested in me.  And it did sting to find out she slept with the football players, the frat guys, etc.  Then, after I got my MBA, lost weight, hit the mid-20s DC scene, got some confidence - women were suddenly everywhere.

My numbers are in the 40s.  I met my DW, hers are in the teens.  I wouldn't have cared if hers were higher because I played in the same pond, I had the fun of pre-marital sex, with lots of fun and not so fun nights.  If I missed that, I could see being resentful.

Make sense?[/quote]

Great job explaining, you very succinctly posted exactly what I felt years ago without ever being able to put my finger on. 
Nice work chief![/quote]

+2. I don't think women with high numbers understand just how hard an average guy has to work to get those kind of numbers. It's like white privilege only for attractive women. Privilege means you can be blissfully unaware and/or victim blame. [/quote]

There is nobody more privileged in America (and possibly the world) than upper-middle class white women, especially the attractive ones.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics