Why don’t schools have stronger policies about redshirting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nobody with a brain wants their kid to be the youngest so this is a game that always has losers.

Many people would prefer this.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:If you redshirt your kids, the other kids will figure out what age your child is (most likely your child will simply tell them) and therefore their parents will too. It's less that people are cataloguing the ages and birthdays of every child and more that when you encounter an 8 year old in 1st or a 10 yr old in 3rd, it is notable, and kids and adults alike will share that info.

The fact that people discover this does not make them creepy stalkers. Again, usually this information is learned from the child themselves when they tell other kids what their age is, which is a very normal thing for kids to share with one another.

You can't control other people finding out and you can't control how they will feel about it when they do. Proceed accordingly.

+1, most talk about it and are proud to be old

Exactly. It's often a point of pride for kids in younger grades to be the oldest, so the redshirted kids get revealed very quickly. This can also be where the resentment starts, if you've got a redshirted kid in the classroom boasting about being the oldest. It's meaningless but it draws attention to it in a negative way.

If you redshirt, talk to your kids about how being a year older or younger isn't important. Make sure they understand that being older doesn't make them better, and find a way to explain why you redshirted that doesn't put other kids down. You don't want your redshirted kid lording it over other children.

TBH it's more likely that they will be uncomfortable and self conscious about being older than everyone else, like they're too old to be in the grade they're in.

Let us know how it goes when the other children make fun of your kid for being too old to be in his or her grade.

Because it will never happen.

said the person who has literally never met a child

How would the kids know what “too old” was unless psycho mom had a sit down and talked about it? Real kids only care about who’s birthday is next and if they are going to the party.

This is a strange world you live in where the moms know the ages of literally hundreds of children at their kids' schools, but the kids have no idea how old anyone is or what grade you're supposed to be in each grade.

There is no correct age per grade since school year isn’t the calendar year. Kids have birthdays all year round.

Have fun explaining that to all the kids at school.

Do you have any kids in school? It’s a non issue.

Pfft. If you have a kid who is older than some children in the grade ahead of them, the other kids will sniff that out in about three seconds and the entire grade will know within days. Some will think it's cool. Some won't care. Some will ask what is wrong with you.

The redshirted kid with be a year older than their peers forever. Elementary school. Middle school. High school. College. It will always be an issue, to varying degrees.

You do realize that college students vary wildly in age, right? Kids take a gap year between HS and college. Kids transfer colleges and their credits might not always transfer exactly. They take a year off for health reasons, or they join the military and have to take time off for training or because they actually get deployed. Or they have a kid! Allll kinds of stuff happens. Even throughout K-12 school, different areas have different cutoffs. The places that start school early in early-mid August in the Midwest and the South often have 7/30 cutoffs. The August and September birthday kids (and there are a lot, these are some of the most common birthdays of the year) didn’t meet the cutoff where they started school.

Ok, Spock, but were you never a child? It's easy to say "'don't sweat it" when you're a middle aged parent with the benefit of experience and hindsight and you don't actually have to do it. Not sweating it though is an altogether different matter when you're young and in the thick of it. If you can't see why a child would be self conscious about being older than all of their peers, then I don't know what to tell you other than you're just being willfully blind.

Hey Ashley, this is a you problem and nothing else.

I know it's probably hard, if you're a parent redshirting a child, to acknowledge that you're causing a lot more problems for your kid than you're solving (and so unnecessarily!), but don't say no one warned you.

Redshirting has been a thing in affluent areas at least since I was in elementary school in the 90s. Show any data about its “problems” please.

Not in our area. I don’t care either way but people should be honest. I have two kids born in March and June and one kid born in November. The spring birthday kids started preschool at 3 years old, then a second year of preschool (prekindergarten) at 4 years old. There was nothing left for them to learn at that level and they were mature. They would have been so bored repeating pre-k, I can’t imagine. The next step was kindergarten, a step they were more than qualified to take.

If I had a child with any kind of delays or difficulties I would have held them back no problem. But I don’t get how a child who is academically advanced at this young age could survive being stuck repeating a year.

What year would they be repeating? Preschools now have their own PreK or Transitional K class just for these kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody with a brain wants their kid to be the youngest so this is a game that always has losers.

Many people would prefer this.

Being on the older side:

It makes them more socially mature when can help navigate school situations easier.

All top students end up on accelerated tracks so they just end up at the very highest or beyond accelerated track.

An extra year of AP classes in high school can save a year of college tuition.

Depending on the sport, it can give them an extra year to train and grow before college recruitment.


This idea that kids need to struggle is probably true, however you let them struggle on a highest accelerated track rather than the standard track.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure why anyone would want to delay their child's education by one full year if the child was otherwise normal. It seems to be more of a thing among parents who recognize their children have some behavior problems and cognitive issues.

It that case, I sincerely hope simply redshirting is enough to solve the problem. Though I think in many cases it would be better to start school on time and get outside support with the behavior and learning disabilities.

I redshirted one of my boys for social reasons. He’s not completely in step with his peers, but he’s less behind, socially, than he would have been. I’d weed sent him on time, he would have been even more rejected than he already is. It had nothing to do with academics. We sent our April boy on time, and he’s doing very well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:If you redshirt your kids, the other kids will figure out what age your child is (most likely your child will simply tell them) and therefore their parents will too. It's less that people are cataloguing the ages and birthdays of every child and more that when you encounter an 8 year old in 1st or a 10 yr old in 3rd, it is notable, and kids and adults alike will share that info.

The fact that people discover this does not make them creepy stalkers. Again, usually this information is learned from the child themselves when they tell other kids what their age is, which is a very normal thing for kids to share with one another.

You can't control other people finding out and you can't control how they will feel about it when they do. Proceed accordingly.

+1, most talk about it and are proud to be old

Exactly. It's often a point of pride for kids in younger grades to be the oldest, so the redshirted kids get revealed very quickly. This can also be where the resentment starts, if you've got a redshirted kid in the classroom boasting about being the oldest. It's meaningless but it draws attention to it in a negative way.

If you redshirt, talk to your kids about how being a year older or younger isn't important. Make sure they understand that being older doesn't make them better, and find a way to explain why you redshirted that doesn't put other kids down. You don't want your redshirted kid lording it over other children.

TBH it's more likely that they will be uncomfortable and self conscious about being older than everyone else, like they're too old to be in the grade they're in.

Let us know how it goes when the other children make fun of your kid for being too old to be in his or her grade.

Because it will never happen.

said the person who has literally never met a child

How would the kids know what “too old” was unless psycho mom had a sit down and talked about it? Real kids only care about who’s birthday is next and if they are going to the party.

This is a strange world you live in where the moms know the ages of literally hundreds of children at their kids' schools, but the kids have no idea how old anyone is or what grade you're supposed to be in each grade.

There is no correct age per grade since school year isn’t the calendar year. Kids have birthdays all year round.

Have fun explaining that to all the kids at school.

Do you have any kids in school? It’s a non issue.

Pfft. If you have a kid who is older than some children in the grade ahead of them, the other kids will sniff that out in about three seconds and the entire grade will know within days. Some will think it's cool. Some won't care. Some will ask what is wrong with you.

The redshirted kid with be a year older than their peers forever. Elementary school. Middle school. High school. College. It will always be an issue, to varying degrees.

You do realize that college students vary wildly in age, right? Kids take a gap year between HS and college. Kids transfer colleges and their credits might not always transfer exactly. They take a year off for health reasons, or they join the military and have to take time off for training or because they actually get deployed. Or they have a kid! Allll kinds of stuff happens. Even throughout K-12 school, different areas have different cutoffs. The places that start school early in early-mid August in the Midwest and the South often have 7/30 cutoffs. The August and September birthday kids (and there are a lot, these are some of the most common birthdays of the year) didn’t meet the cutoff where they started school.

Ok, Spock, but were you never a child? It's easy to say "'don't sweat it" when you're a middle aged parent with the benefit of experience and hindsight and you don't actually have to do it. Not sweating it though is an altogether different matter when you're young and in the thick of it. If you can't see why a child would be self conscious about being older than all of their peers, then I don't know what to tell you other than you're just being willfully blind.

Hey Ashley, this is a you problem and nothing else.

I know it's probably hard, if you're a parent redshirting a child, to acknowledge that you're causing a lot more problems for your kid than you're solving (and so unnecessarily!), but don't say no one warned you.

Redshirting has been a thing in affluent areas at least since I was in elementary school in the 90s. Show any data about its “problems” please.

Not in our area. I don’t care either way but people should be honest. I have two kids born in March and June and one kid born in November. The spring birthday kids started preschool at 3 years old, then a second year of preschool (prekindergarten) at 4 years old. There was nothing left for them to learn at that level and they were mature. They would have been so bored repeating pre-k, I can’t imagine. The next step was kindergarten, a step they were more than qualified to take.

If I had a child with any kind of delays or difficulties I would have held them back no problem. But I don’t get how a child who is academically advanced at this young age could survive being stuck repeating a year.

Their parents are getting them high quality education enrichment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody with a brain wants their kid to be the youngest so this is a game that always has losers.

Many people would prefer this.

Then they should be thanking those parents who choose to redshirt for affording them the opportunity, not writing textbook-length threads about monitoring other parents choices.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:If you redshirt your kids, the other kids will figure out what age your child is (most likely your child will simply tell them) and therefore their parents will too. It's less that people are cataloguing the ages and birthdays of every child and more that when you encounter an 8 year old in 1st or a 10 yr old in 3rd, it is notable, and kids and adults alike will share that info.

The fact that people discover this does not make them creepy stalkers. Again, usually this information is learned from the child themselves when they tell other kids what their age is, which is a very normal thing for kids to share with one another.

You can't control other people finding out and you can't control how they will feel about it when they do. Proceed accordingly.

+1, most talk about it and are proud to be old

Exactly. It's often a point of pride for kids in younger grades to be the oldest, so the redshirted kids get revealed very quickly. This can also be where the resentment starts, if you've got a redshirted kid in the classroom boasting about being the oldest. It's meaningless but it draws attention to it in a negative way.

If you redshirt, talk to your kids about how being a year older or younger isn't important. Make sure they understand that being older doesn't make them better, and find a way to explain why you redshirted that doesn't put other kids down. You don't want your redshirted kid lording it over other children.

TBH it's more likely that they will be uncomfortable and self conscious about being older than everyone else, like they're too old to be in the grade they're in.

Let us know how it goes when the other children make fun of your kid for being too old to be in his or her grade.

Because it will never happen.

said the person who has literally never met a child

How would the kids know what “too old” was unless psycho mom had a sit down and talked about it? Real kids only care about who’s birthday is next and if they are going to the party.

This is a strange world you live in where the moms know the ages of literally hundreds of children at their kids' schools, but the kids have no idea how old anyone is or what grade you're supposed to be in each grade.

There is no correct age per grade since school year isn’t the calendar year. Kids have birthdays all year round.

Have fun explaining that to all the kids at school.

Do you have any kids in school? It’s a non issue.

Pfft. If you have a kid who is older than some children in the grade ahead of them, the other kids will sniff that out in about three seconds and the entire grade will know within days. Some will think it's cool. Some won't care. Some will ask what is wrong with you.

The redshirted kid with be a year older than their peers forever. Elementary school. Middle school. High school. College. It will always be an issue, to varying degrees.

You do realize that college students vary wildly in age, right? Kids take a gap year between HS and college. Kids transfer colleges and their credits might not always transfer exactly. They take a year off for health reasons, or they join the military and have to take time off for training or because they actually get deployed. Or they have a kid! Allll kinds of stuff happens. Even throughout K-12 school, different areas have different cutoffs. The places that start school early in early-mid August in the Midwest and the South often have 7/30 cutoffs. The August and September birthday kids (and there are a lot, these are some of the most common birthdays of the year) didn’t meet the cutoff where they started school.

Ok, Spock, but were you never a child? It's easy to say "'don't sweat it" when you're a middle aged parent with the benefit of experience and hindsight and you don't actually have to do it. Not sweating it though is an altogether different matter when you're young and in the thick of it. If you can't see why a child would be self conscious about being older than all of their peers, then I don't know what to tell you other than you're just being willfully blind.

Hey Ashley, this is a you problem and nothing else.

I know it's probably hard, if you're a parent redshirting a child, to acknowledge that you're causing a lot more problems for your kid than you're solving (and so unnecessarily!), but don't say no one warned you.

Redshirting has been a thing in affluent areas at least since I was in elementary school in the 90s. Show any data about its “problems” please.

Not in our area. I don’t care either way but people should be honest. I have two kids born in March and June and one kid born in November. The spring birthday kids started preschool at 3 years old, then a second year of preschool (prekindergarten) at 4 years old. There was nothing left for them to learn at that level and they were mature. They would have been so bored repeating pre-k, I can’t imagine. The next step was kindergarten, a step they were more than qualified to take.

If I had a child with any kind of delays or difficulties I would have held them back no problem. But I don’t get how a child who is academically advanced at this young age could survive being stuck repeating a year.

What year would they be repeating? Preschools now have their own PreK or Transitional K class just for these kids.

Preschool, pre-K then transitional K? Way too much preparation for the typical bright child. That is one year too many for the majority of children

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:If you redshirt your kids, the other kids will figure out what age your child is (most likely your child will simply tell them) and therefore their parents will too. It's less that people are cataloguing the ages and birthdays of every child and more that when you encounter an 8 year old in 1st or a 10 yr old in 3rd, it is notable, and kids and adults alike will share that info.

The fact that people discover this does not make them creepy stalkers. Again, usually this information is learned from the child themselves when they tell other kids what their age is, which is a very normal thing for kids to share with one another.

You can't control other people finding out and you can't control how they will feel about it when they do. Proceed accordingly.

+1, most talk about it and are proud to be old

Exactly. It's often a point of pride for kids in younger grades to be the oldest, so the redshirted kids get revealed very quickly. This can also be where the resentment starts, if you've got a redshirted kid in the classroom boasting about being the oldest. It's meaningless but it draws attention to it in a negative way.

If you redshirt, talk to your kids about how being a year older or younger isn't important. Make sure they understand that being older doesn't make them better, and find a way to explain why you redshirted that doesn't put other kids down. You don't want your redshirted kid lording it over other children.

TBH it's more likely that they will be uncomfortable and self conscious about being older than everyone else, like they're too old to be in the grade they're in.

Let us know how it goes when the other children make fun of your kid for being too old to be in his or her grade.

Because it will never happen.

said the person who has literally never met a child

How would the kids know what “too old” was unless psycho mom had a sit down and talked about it? Real kids only care about who’s birthday is next and if they are going to the party.

This is a strange world you live in where the moms know the ages of literally hundreds of children at their kids' schools, but the kids have no idea how old anyone is or what grade you're supposed to be in each grade.

There is no correct age per grade since school year isn’t the calendar year. Kids have birthdays all year round.

Have fun explaining that to all the kids at school.

Do you have any kids in school? It’s a non issue.

Pfft. If you have a kid who is older than some children in the grade ahead of them, the other kids will sniff that out in about three seconds and the entire grade will know within days. Some will think it's cool. Some won't care. Some will ask what is wrong with you.

The redshirted kid with be a year older than their peers forever. Elementary school. Middle school. High school. College. It will always be an issue, to varying degrees.

You do realize that college students vary wildly in age, right? Kids take a gap year between HS and college. Kids transfer colleges and their credits might not always transfer exactly. They take a year off for health reasons, or they join the military and have to take time off for training or because they actually get deployed. Or they have a kid! Allll kinds of stuff happens. Even throughout K-12 school, different areas have different cutoffs. The places that start school early in early-mid August in the Midwest and the South often have 7/30 cutoffs. The August and September birthday kids (and there are a lot, these are some of the most common birthdays of the year) didn’t meet the cutoff where they started school.

Ok, Spock, but were you never a child? It's easy to say "'don't sweat it" when you're a middle aged parent with the benefit of experience and hindsight and you don't actually have to do it. Not sweating it though is an altogether different matter when you're young and in the thick of it. If you can't see why a child would be self conscious about being older than all of their peers, then I don't know what to tell you other than you're just being willfully blind.

Hey Ashley, this is a you problem and nothing else.

I know it's probably hard, if you're a parent redshirting a child, to acknowledge that you're causing a lot more problems for your kid than you're solving (and so unnecessarily!), but don't say no one warned you.

Redshirting has been a thing in affluent areas at least since I was in elementary school in the 90s. Show any data about its “problems” please.

Not in our area. I don’t care either way but people should be honest. I have two kids born in March and June and one kid born in November. The spring birthday kids started preschool at 3 years old, then a second year of preschool (prekindergarten) at 4 years old. There was nothing left for them to learn at that level and they were mature. They would have been so bored repeating pre-k, I can’t imagine. The next step was kindergarten, a step they were more than qualified to take.

If I had a child with any kind of delays or difficulties I would have held them back no problem. But I don’t get how a child who is academically advanced at this young age could survive being stuck repeating a year.

Their parents are getting them high quality education enrichment.

What kind of enrichment and why do they need it? What is considered “high quality”. As much as people try to spin it, that’s a lot of repetition in that third year. If the child doesn’t get bored and is having fun that’s a good thing, it worked out. I know my kids would be bored and not happy to see their classmates go to kindergarten and they have to repeat transitional yet again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure why anyone would want to delay their child's education by one full year if the child was otherwise normal. It seems to be more of a thing among parents who recognize their children have some behavior problems and cognitive issues.

It that case, I sincerely hope simply redshirting is enough to solve the problem. Though I think in many cases it would be better to start school on time and get outside support with the behavior and learning disabilities.

I redshirted one of my boys for social reasons. He’s not completely in step with his peers, but he’s less behind, socially, than he would have been. I’d weed sent him on time, he would have been even more rejected than he already is. It had nothing to do with academics. We sent our April boy on time, and he’s doing very well.

It sounds like you made good choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:If you redshirt your kids, the other kids will figure out what age your child is (most likely your child will simply tell them) and therefore their parents will too. It's less that people are cataloguing the ages and birthdays of every child and more that when you encounter an 8 year old in 1st or a 10 yr old in 3rd, it is notable, and kids and adults alike will share that info.

The fact that people discover this does not make them creepy stalkers. Again, usually this information is learned from the child themselves when they tell other kids what their age is, which is a very normal thing for kids to share with one another.

You can't control other people finding out and you can't control how they will feel about it when they do. Proceed accordingly.

+1, most talk about it and are proud to be old

Exactly. It's often a point of pride for kids in younger grades to be the oldest, so the redshirted kids get revealed very quickly. This can also be where the resentment starts, if you've got a redshirted kid in the classroom boasting about being the oldest. It's meaningless but it draws attention to it in a negative way.

If you redshirt, talk to your kids about how being a year older or younger isn't important. Make sure they understand that being older doesn't make them better, and find a way to explain why you redshirted that doesn't put other kids down. You don't want your redshirted kid lording it over other children.

TBH it's more likely that they will be uncomfortable and self conscious about being older than everyone else, like they're too old to be in the grade they're in.

Let us know how it goes when the other children make fun of your kid for being too old to be in his or her grade.

Because it will never happen.

said the person who has literally never met a child

How would the kids know what “too old” was unless psycho mom had a sit down and talked about it? Real kids only care about who’s birthday is next and if they are going to the party.

This is a strange world you live in where the moms know the ages of literally hundreds of children at their kids' schools, but the kids have no idea how old anyone is or what grade you're supposed to be in each grade.

There is no correct age per grade since school year isn’t the calendar year. Kids have birthdays all year round.

Have fun explaining that to all the kids at school.

Do you have any kids in school? It’s a non issue.

Pfft. If you have a kid who is older than some children in the grade ahead of them, the other kids will sniff that out in about three seconds and the entire grade will know within days. Some will think it's cool. Some won't care. Some will ask what is wrong with you.

The redshirted kid with be a year older than their peers forever. Elementary school. Middle school. High school. College. It will always be an issue, to varying degrees.

You do realize that college students vary wildly in age, right? Kids take a gap year between HS and college. Kids transfer colleges and their credits might not always transfer exactly. They take a year off for health reasons, or they join the military and have to take time off for training or because they actually get deployed. Or they have a kid! Allll kinds of stuff happens. Even throughout K-12 school, different areas have different cutoffs. The places that start school early in early-mid August in the Midwest and the South often have 7/30 cutoffs. The August and September birthday kids (and there are a lot, these are some of the most common birthdays of the year) didn’t meet the cutoff where they started school.

Ok, Spock, but were you never a child? It's easy to say "'don't sweat it" when you're a middle aged parent with the benefit of experience and hindsight and you don't actually have to do it. Not sweating it though is an altogether different matter when you're young and in the thick of it. If you can't see why a child would be self conscious about being older than all of their peers, then I don't know what to tell you other than you're just being willfully blind.

Hey Ashley, this is a you problem and nothing else.

I know it's probably hard, if you're a parent redshirting a child, to acknowledge that you're causing a lot more problems for your kid than you're solving (and so unnecessarily!), but don't say no one warned you.

Redshirting has been a thing in affluent areas at least since I was in elementary school in the 90s. Show any data about its “problems” please.

Not in our area. I don’t care either way but people should be honest. I have two kids born in March and June and one kid born in November. The spring birthday kids started preschool at 3 years old, then a second year of preschool (prekindergarten) at 4 years old. There was nothing left for them to learn at that level and they were mature. They would have been so bored repeating pre-k, I can’t imagine. The next step was kindergarten, a step they were more than qualified to take.

If I had a child with any kind of delays or difficulties I would have held them back no problem. But I don’t get how a child who is academically advanced at this young age could survive being stuck repeating a year.

Their parents are getting them high quality education enrichment.

What kind of enrichment and why do they need it? What is considered “high quality”. As much as people try to spin it, that’s a lot of repetition in that third year. If the child doesn’t get bored and is having fun that’s a good thing, it worked out. I know my kids would be bored and not happy to see their classmates go to kindergarten and they have to repeat transitional yet again.

Cool so you don’t have to repeat or flunk your kids or whatever you think is going on. That’s what choice means.

[Anonymous]

If you really want to do it right, don’t redshirt, re-class later on, when many more accelerated and advanced academic options are available.

[Anonymous]

No one is here asking whether they should redshirt. The whiners are here saying other people shouldn’t be allowed to, and the parents who redshirt are asking people to get a grip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one is here asking whether they should redshirt. The whiners are here saying other people shouldn’t be allowed to, and the parents who redshirt are asking people to get a grip.

Kids should be with their coharts, not with younger students.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one is here asking whether they should redshirt. The whiners are here saying other people shouldn’t be allowed to, and the parents who redshirt are asking people to get a grip.

Kids should be with their coharts, not with younger students.

That’s not how it works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody with a brain wants their kid to be the youngest so this is a game that always has losers.

Many people would prefer this.

Being on the older side:

It makes them more socially mature when can help navigate school situations easier.

All top students end up on accelerated tracks so they just end up at the very highest or beyond accelerated track.

An extra year of AP classes in high school can save a year of college tuition.

Depending on the sport, it can give them an extra year to train and grow before college recruitment.


This idea that kids need to struggle is probably true, however you let them struggle on a highest accelerated track rather than the standard track.

I hope there aren’t that many people have their kid stay back a year in the very unlikely event that the extra year miraculously gave them a talent in sports. That’s just sad. Future athletes don’t need an extra year in little kids sports from park and rec.