Disappointment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to Pitt and if you are worried about your daughter being a big fish in a small pond that would be a mistake--Pitt is a very big pond. She won't be alone at all. If she takes care of her business, she will attend a top medical school or PhD program.

Agree. I know a bunch of kids going to Pitt in engineering with similar stats to your kid. Their honors program is amazing and they do a good job recruiting and they're top 10 in the country for biomedical research funding. Pitt is no slouch in BME. Your kid will have many kids in their program with similar skills/stats/goals. I wouldn't think of Pitt as a consolation prize. I'd think of getting to go to a great school in a cool part of the city where kids are happy. It's a win. I'd be willing to bet your kid will be happier in the end, with the same career outcomes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Harsh comments on this thread. Didn’t read them all

To the OP, I think college acceptances are a big farce. We pretend like if this child just had diff ECs or something else her outcomes would have been different. I know two kids admitted to Ivies this cycle that are very average (no leadership, hard working but not brilliant). Why were they admitted? Because they come from rural communities and are economically disadvantaged according to the college’s formula. That gave them the boost to get admitted. Kids from the DC region are on a whole other playing field. It really opened my eyes that admissions is a joke and we are pretending that our kids have some control over the process.

Strongly agree. There is nothing wrong with OP’s profile. What’s wrong is a corrupt admissions process that favors rich people through ED, athletes and often legacies and more. No one should be so invested in affirming the current admissions process that they blame this child, especially with racist Asian stereotypes. OP’s kid will do great at any of the colleges she was accepted to. W&M and Pitt seem to have many happy students! OP, I suggest you have this thread locked and stop subjecting yoursef and your kid to these insults.

Thank you, I do feel disappointed with the unfairness of this process. Ik colleges are looking for something specific, but these results were really surprising all things considered. We're middle class in NOVA, DD is half-Asian, so no hooks either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This has to be fake. People cannot be this naive.

Absolutely not. We've seen this happen before. It is a word of warning to future applicants to think hard about the number of reaches to which your apply. There is no guarantee of getting into ANY of them, which means a lot of rejections. While the rejections are statistically likely, it doesn't take away the sting of being told no over and over. Also, UVA is a lottery ticket for high stats kids. You think your kid should get in, but it just doesn't work that way.

OP- If you go to Pittsburgh, check out the Terminal and Strip District. It's a pretty cool city. My kid ended up falling in love with the big, traditional campuses, but it was on their list for a long time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The real lesson here is to step back from the relentless competition that has taken over the college admissions process. The race to stack AP courses, launch nonprofits, start companies, conduct research, and publish books—often all before turning 18—has reached absurd levels. Let kids be kids. Let them enjoy their childhood and high school years without the crushing pressure to gain admission to ultra-selective colleges. In the end, their happiness and well-being matter far more than an acceptance letter.

You're just posting this so your kids have less competition

Lol you are demented. You are probably one of these crazy parents obsessed with prestige who push their kids to achieve constantly.

[Anonymous]

I’m surprised at the UVA result but it supports my view that from FCPS you are strongly advised to apply ED to UVA.

[Anonymous]

At some point, elite college admissions becomes just a game. It has complex, ever-evolving rules, requires long-term strategy, involves intense competition, and produces winners and losers. It sucks to be rejected or to "lose", but it often simply means you didn't play the strategy optimally. OP's academics and test scores might have qualified her kid to play, but clearly the activities weren't optimized in a way that stood out to admissions committees.

For those navigating elite college admissions, I suggest finding a specific "hook" like an athletic talent, which can provide more concrete admissions benchmarks for test scores and grades.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Welcome to the application process for highly qualified daughters. If your daughter is white or Asian, it's even worse. The stats don't lie - your daughter is competing with far more applicants exactly like her than boys. Check the Common Data Set stats and you will see it - applicants are mostly girls. Are you middle class - specifically in the not so sweet spot of a family earned income between 200K and 400K a year? It's even worse than just having a daughter!

A boy with those stats would have a bigger advantage than a girl in gaining admission simply because there aren't enough boys applying. Add to that the middle class earned income no fly zone where you earn just enough to pay for school but not enough to pay full tuition, and it becomes a tougher road. The stats and the achievements are only part of the equation.

You should feel upset - your kid busted their behind and others who may be less deserving but fulfilled some unknown need of the colleges on the list got their admit. It sucks, but it's where we are.

My DD was in the exact same boat but we applied to places where she had clear opportunities at a full ride (in addition to the standard T20 applications) and she got more than one full ride offer at what would be considered by most here as lower tier schools. That helped her get over the sting of not being accepted to the T20s in her list.

My attitude would be as follows - those other schools didn't want my kid? F them - they're missing out, and we are going to focus on the ones that showed my kid some love and love them right back.

Yes, we're in that income bracket. DD is half-Asian, and according to this thread I'm guessing her "stereotypical" ECs showed AOs that she was Asian.

I wouldn't jump straight to race.

I am thinking this is more of a:

-Intra-high school competitiveness
-Gender competitiveness
Possible recommendations issue bc often they say or have boxes for...this kid is the best I've ever seen or best in their class year. At a hard high school, it's tough to get those top box check marks.

I am the Pitt grad who posted a few pages back. Your DD is the first Chancellor's Scholar interviewee that has surfaced on this site in the last few years.

I'd like to make an observation about that program.

Pitt has only been strengthening its appeal to top students since I went to school.

My husband and I were not Chancellor's Scholars but were toward the top of our graduating classes at Pitt. We ended up getting free-ride merit scholarships to Michigan and Georgetown for graduate school. My close friend who did not get a Chancellor's Scholarship but a substantial merit scholarship ended up going to Harvard Law and getting prestigious law jobs. I think your daughter would find a good peer group in the Honors Program.

It's been a long time since I was in college so I can only remember one of the Chancellor's Scholars from our era. But her's her bio now.

https://www.dhs.gov/archive/person/mary-ellen-callahan

Here's the resume of the student body president from my years at Pitt. He was an international student.

https://www.colliers.com/en/experts/gil-borok

If the urban setting of Pitt suits your daughter, I think she'd be happy and challenged there. And it would be pretty painless to transfer to CMU if you felt it necessary and she could get in (low acceptance rate but going to Pitt OOS would demonstrate credible interest in Pittsburgh).

My read of your situation ties back to the competitiveness of the high school and gender for the major. It's hard to get recos as "best student I've ever seen" or "one of the best in the class" when the class is full of achievers. If you look at TJ stats (if she's there), there are only low digit matriculations to almost all selective schools. I think it's a lot about competing against classmates. If your kid is really at TJ, you have a correlation, not causation, situation with race.

I do think Cornell and CMU are the waitlists to watch. However, as a Pittsburgh native, I've never liked CMU's vibe. I respect the rigor but I'd only send my kid there if they wanted to maximize salary and work somewhere where school reputation was critical. Like moving to Silicon Valley to be a tech bro.

Here's somebody who dropped out of CMU to go to Pitt. This kind of person is more my kind of person. Very liberal artsy.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Chabon

Good luck with everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At some point, elite college admissions becomes just a game. It has complex, ever-evolving rules, requires long-term strategy, involves intense competition, and produces winners and losers. It sucks to be rejected or to "lose", but it often simply means you didn't play the strategy optimally. OP's academics and test scores might have qualified her kid to play, but clearly the activities weren't optimized in a way that stood out to admissions committees.

For those navigating elite college admissions, I suggest finding a specific "hook" like an athletic talent, which can provide more concrete admissions benchmarks for test scores and grades.

And I suggest people stop forcing their kids to play stupid games and jump hoops to gain “elite” admissions. Let your kid do what they are interested in so they can keep learning and being happy. Getting into an elite college will not make them happy for more than a fleeting time. They need to develop as a person. Besides, trump has declared war on elite colleges so they won’t be good places to be for the next four years or possibly more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone who thinks UNC is a safety for OOS has zero clue about the college process.

When did OP say it was a safety?

21:35pm post: "DD really liked CMU and wanted to double major with BME. UNC's joint program was supposed to be more of a safety, and DD said that she loved Dartmouth's flexibility in that program."

Op also said her daughter was "guaranteed" admission to UVA by her college counselor.

OP has to be a troll. This is beyond delusional.

I said almost guaranteed - Her counselor told us that it was very likely. UVA is a great school, but DD's public sends many kids to UVA every year. How is this delusional?

You literally wrote that Carolina OOS was supposed to be a safety (not even a target). That is delusional for anyone. ANYONE.

Here is a very good explanation that apparently you, your DD and her college counselors should watch. It is never, NEVER, a safety or target for any OOS student. I’m not here to argument the merits of a UNC degree (although I am a fan) but the numbers are what they are. Around 6% OOS acceptance rate, firm instate mandate minimum numbers, 57% increase in applications from 2017-2024 (thereby massively increasing your competition and driving down that acceptance rate even further).

Do you not understand math? Yes, it is delusional thinking to label OOS UNC a safety, an almost safety or a target. https://www.instagram.com/reel/DHXMaoEv1tW/?igsh=eG0yMWtna3owZ2di

We didn't hire a college counselor, she had her school counselor. Should we have spent on one?

No one said anything about a private college counselor. Her school counselor is her college counselor. Are you really this obtuse? I guess so. Your FREE school college counselor definitely should have known re OOS Carolina. Everyone knows. It is no secret. So either you are not intelligent or are lying/are making this all up.

I didn't grow up in the US so yes, I don't have the best grasp of these terms. I know that her school counselor is her college counselor, but they are also referred to as guidance counselors. I think you're the obtuse one here, sorry to say.

Do you even know what obtuse means?

Yes I do, and I was using it to referring to how quick you are to make assumptions and be nasty. That, to me, doesn't make someone the brightest of the bunch.

Um, no. Obtuse means being slow or not alert in perception, feeling or intellect or being unwilling to understand. A 5 second google search can tell you the definition. You literally just made up a different definition and are not using the word correctly. It does not mean to be quick to make assumptions or "being nasty".

Delusional means characterized by or holding false beliefs or judgments about external reality that are held despite incontrovertible evidence to the contrary; based on or having faulty judgment; mistaken. This is another word you need to learn the correct meaning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:sorry, it looked like she worked really hard and deserved to get into one of those. It was probably the major that stopped her or maybe her race. Maybe you guys should have applied to oos state schools like unc chapell hill, OSU, umn, UCLA, etc.

And thank you! We were all pretty surprised with the results, but people here are saying that apparently VT shouldn't have been a target.

People here can be rude. if she really does not want any of those, she could take a gap year and try to apply again next year to different oos schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The real lesson here is to step back from the relentless competition that has taken over the college admissions process. The race to stack AP courses, launch nonprofits, start companies, conduct research, and publish books—often all before turning 18—has reached absurd levels. Let kids be kids. Let them enjoy their childhood and high school years without the crushing pressure to gain admission to ultra-selective colleges. In the end, their happiness and well-being matter far more than an acceptance letter.

The other lesson is when look to apply, be realistic. UVA and VT for engineering are reaches even for someone with 1500 SAT and lots of APs. Same for UNC. And for all colleges, should always assume 1000s of kids look just like you so don’t be surprised when others picked (especially if TO). You never know what kids are doing. Maybe the quiet kid invents things or makes own films or who knows what- Larla isn’t required to share everything does with other parents so the other parents can feel better if Larla gets into Ivy and hers doesn’t. Focusing on the other kids is automatic losing game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:sorry, it looked like she worked really hard and deserved to get into one of those. It was probably the major that stopped her or maybe her race. Maybe you guys should have applied to oos state schools like unc chapell hill, OSU, umn, UCLA, etc.

And thank you! We were all pretty surprised with the results, but people here are saying that apparently VT shouldn't have been a target.

You also have to keep in mind that just because a school is a “target” doesn’t mean admission is guaranteed. That’s what safeties are for. Target means a strong chance but things can still not go your way.

[Anonymous]

It seems like OP had very weak college counseling, honestly. A lot of this could have been prevented.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At some point, elite college admissions becomes just a game. It has complex, ever-evolving rules, requires long-term strategy, involves intense competition, and produces winners and losers. It sucks to be rejected or to "lose", but it often simply means you didn't play the strategy optimally. OP's academics and test scores might have qualified her kid to play, but clearly the activities weren't optimized in a way that stood out to admissions committees.

For those navigating elite college admissions, I suggest finding a specific "hook" like an athletic talent, which can provide more concrete admissions benchmarks for test scores and grades.

And I suggest people stop forcing their kids to play stupid games and jump hoops to gain “elite” admissions. Let your kid do what they are interested in so they can keep learning and being happy. Getting into an elite college will not make them happy for more than a fleeting time. They need to develop as a person. Besides, trump has declared war on elite colleges so they won’t be good places to be for the next four years or possibly more.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You said “it was more of a safety.”

Yes, I said it was more of a safety than a reach, which would make it a target. Sorry if that wasn't clear.

Did you find the entire college admissions process overwhelming? A lot of uncertainty in these posts. A college counselor probably would have helped.

We mainly relied on DD's own research and school counselor.

You cannot complain if you put little effort into it. She got into great schools. You are the problem.

This is... strangely harsh. Of course we put effort into it, I was just clarifying that DD did in fact do her own research before applying and was guided by her school counselor.

If you had truly "put effort into it", you would have applied EA to UVA. That is a simple no-brainer, and your HS counselor likely told you that (you are in VA and it's the state flagship).