Email and texting etiquette

[Anonymous]

When I send my future DIL an email or a text, she does not respond. I am trying to talk about wedding plans, clothing, travel plans, etc.
When we are together, everything is great. I love her and am afraid she just tolerates me.

[Anonymous]

Communicate through your son. Please.

[Anonymous]

Why are you so involved in these plans? Maybe she thinks you're being intrusive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Communicate through your son. Please.

I disagree. My MIL and I have a great relationship, and keeping her in the loop with regard to wedding planning was a fun bonding experience.

OP, sometimes I don't get around to responding to texts as much as I would like, simply because I hate typing on my phone. Can you try emailing her instead?

[Anonymous]

^ she said DIL ignores emails as well

[Anonymous]

How often are the emails and texts? If they are too frequent you may need to dial back.

[Anonymous]

How often are you texting and emailing her, OP?

[Anonymous]

Maybe she's driving.

[Anonymous]

You need to toughen up. I get along great with my mil. I also find myself slow to respond to her texts. Part of it is because I don't want to go down the path of her thinking she can text me over every little detail of my life. If I did allow it, she would. Also, she's on the sensitive side (sounds like you might be too) and I know how text and email doesn't always convey things how you want. I could jus picture mil stewing over my response trying to figure out what I meant, if she should feel slighted, if I meant anything deeper by what I wrote, and so on. I prefer to talk to her live.

[Anonymous]

9:45 again. I don't just tolerate her, I love her. It didn't happen overnight, and I was careful to set boundaries from the start. Sounds like your future DIL might be doing the same. She's thinking long term. Good for her. You both are fortunate to have each other. Ease into things.

If it's something that requires a quick response, only when really necessary, you could add something like "please let me know today so I can forward the info to the florist" or whatever. MIL has learne to do this with me and she doesn't over do it so I respect her wishes when she specifically requests a prompt reply.

[Anonymous]

You haven't provided enough information. Are you texting, "Hi Jane. Just made hotel reservations. We decided to stay an extra night. Would love to host your mom and dad for dinner after all the festivities are over. Ok to call her directly? Or is email best for her?"

Or are you texting, "Jane, just went to tux rental place. What a pit! Groom's teenage younger brother pitched a fit over wearing 'a monkey suit' (he is *so* expressive...shall I reserve him for your younger sister? ...Anyway. Younger brother so upset about tux, he will be wearing khakis and a polo. You don't mind do you? The wedding pix will look so unique! Hopefully, I can talk him out of the flip flops!"

#1. You get a response.

#2. I would have to wait a while to respond so as not to say something horrible.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the responses! Right now I am working on my dress. I am not getting any feedback from the brides mom....she is very busy. I think I am going to stop trying and get myself a nice navy blue dress to make things simple. Everyone has so many things on their minds and, in the end, I don't think some of these things are a big deal.
I am in my 50's and, I never thought I would say this, but it is a very different world then when i was getting married. I love my future DIL and her family. They don't plan ahead as much as I would like, but maybe that is what is meant by "the MOG should wear beige and shut up). I'm going with navy!

[Anonymous]

Dude, she's just not that into you.

[Anonymous]

Can you just call her?

[Anonymous]

You sound very sweet, but it's hard to give advice without knowing more. I didn't care what my MIL wore to the wedding (or what her friends wore, etc. etc.). She tried to engage me in all that and then persisted and persisted. I don't even remember what she wore. She is a fabulous lady and I truly just wanted her to wear whatever she wanted. She has fine taste. Either your DIL is going to be a bridezilla or she doesn't care. I'm hoping it's the latter! Navy sounds fine.