My in laws just told my husband that we have to take DD to church to show her off

[Anonymous]

Key words here "have to". DH is not religious, I am not Christian. DH goes to church on Christmas because his parents are very active in it, I went the first few years we were together, but have not gone since (it's so awkward and uncomfortable for me). This year, the in-laws told us that we have to take our DD to church to show her off. DH said "well, maybe we'll bring her before or after the service, she surely won't sit through the whole thing [six months old]" and FIL came back with examples of three different families with young children who will be at the service. DH reiterated that she won't make it through the service (it's at 6pm and a looong service, there's no way my six month old is sitting through it, come on!!) and FIL has not yet relented. I'm not asking for advice, because we're not taking the baby to the service and my in-laws are going to blame it on me, even though DH said it without even talking to me, I just needed to vent. Thanks for listening!!

[Anonymous]

Well, you aren't looking for advice, so ok....

[Anonymous]

This is called a Christmas Eve service. It is very very normal for parents and grandparents to take kids and grandkids to this. It is very normal they would want their out of town friends to meet their grand baby. You should go. If you don't want to go to services, at least show up when they are over for the socializing afterwards.

[Anonymous]

Just take her. Not about religion, about them wanting to show off a grandchild they're proud of. If you really can't deal let DH take her.

[Anonymous]

Take 2 cars to church. Leave with baby after 30 minutes.

[Anonymous]

Take her! You're being stubborn

[Anonymous]

We do Mass, so there is not a lot of socializing surrounding the Christmas Eve and Christmas services. However, with many of our Protestant friends, there is a big social component to the Christmas Eve service. This is a chance for your in-laws to introduce their beautiful grand baby to all their church friends. They think she is the most perfect, beautiful creature in the world and they want all their friends to know that all the bragging they have been doing the past 6 months is spot on

They aren't trying to convert her, or override your religious beliefs, they literally want to "show her off".

I would let your husband take her, and walk around the vestibule if she won't be quiet for the service. There will likely be a lot of music, which she might actually enjoy. Give her a chance to surprise you, and be grateful that they think this child is even more amazing than even you and your husband do.

[Anonymous]

Lol. This was so funny.

Grandparents are so in love with their grandchildren that they want the world to admire them. Let them do it.

Seriously, no one else in the world will ever again think that your kids are the most precious kids in the world, except the grandparents. No one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take her! You're being stubborn

Seems kind of mean that you can't find it within your heart to figure out a way that grandparents can show her off.

[Anonymous]

Look, if she cries and fusses, they are just going to take that as proof that she is even more wonderful than she is. They will get to walk her around, cuddle her and sooth her. Grandparent nirvana.

They don't care if she cries, or if you or your husband show up, or if any of you get anything of value from the service.

They just want your baby to be there in all her wonderfulness.

[Anonymous]

They totally just want to show her off and I really don't have a problem with that (aside from the fact that they are obviously not going to attend the services with the religious celebration being their first priority) If you don't have any other major plans that evening, I would send DD all dolled up with DH. He can sit on the aisle and just excuse himself to the vestibule should she get overly fussy. That happens all the time at our church. She's still pretty small and just might surprise you how long she lasts. Let this be your gift to them. You can certainly vent, but I can certainly offer my opinion that you sound pretty selfish.

[Anonymous]

I can't believe the responses. OP - do what works for your family.

[Anonymous]

Do whatever you want but I think you're harping in the phrase "have to." It's not a command, it's a "oh you just HAVE to."

[Anonymous]

Relax OP. Seriously. You're really being upright over something like this? You're going to do a lot of harm to the relationship. All they want to do is show off their beautiful grandbaby. Christmas Eve service is made for families. Nobody cares if the baby fusses and needs to be taken out. And nobody is trying to shove religion down your throat.

[Anonymous]

I agree with prior posters -- grandparents are proud of baby and really want to show her off/that's natural and sweet.

You will hurt relationship with grandparents if you say no.

Go and when baby fusses take her out in lobby/quiet area/cry room of church. You can chat with other parents there or just chill with her.

Don't leave the church with the baby -- showing off happens before or after wards.

And it's not about religion, it's really about proud grandparents & every child deserves to have at least 1 of these (more is a bonus) & you can suck it up to help that relationship & to be good to your child.