My in laws just told my husband that we have to take DD to church to show her off

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe the responses. OP - do what works for your family.

You mean what works for OP and ignore the other members of the family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lol. This was so funny.

Grandparents are so in love with their grandchildren that they want the world to admire them. Let them do it.

Seriously, no one else in the world will ever again think that your kids are the most precious kids in the world, except the grandparents. No one.

So very true!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do whatever you want but I think you're harping in the phrase "have to." It's not a command, it's a "oh you just HAVE to."

+1

[Anonymous]

Let them go. Baby stays home with mom. Especially if nursing and has a routine. A 6 mo baby should be in the crib by 7pm for bed anyway, no business being at church.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is called a Christmas Eve service. It is very very normal for parents and grandparents to take kids and grandkids to this. It is very normal they would want their out of town friends to meet their grand baby. You should go. If you don't want to go to services, at least show up when they are over for the socializing afterwards.

OP here, yes we are totally willing to take her before or after to show her off, just not to the actual service. That's why I don't get why they insist on us going to the service.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Relax OP. Seriously. You're really being upright over something like this? You're going to do a lot of harm to the relationship. All they want to do is show off their beautiful grandbaby. Christmas Eve service is made for families. Nobody cares if the baby fusses and needs to be taken out. And nobody is trying to shove religion down your throat.

Why is everyone focusing on me and not even mentioning that it was my DH who told his parents the baby wouldn't make it through???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Relax OP. Seriously. You're really being upright over something like this? You're going to do a lot of harm to the relationship. All they want to do is show off their beautiful grandbaby. Christmas Eve service is made for families. Nobody cares if the baby fusses and needs to be taken out. And nobody is trying to shove religion down your throat.

Why is everyone focusing on me and not even mentioning that it was my DH who told his parents the baby wouldn't make it through???

Because he didn't post. YOU did. He wasn't so upset that he needed to vent. He told his parents what he needed and that was that. But you needed to keep it going, so you came here. You knew what would happen.

[Anonymous]

Whatever you do this year sets the stage for future years, and potential future children. You and h need to decide if the children will be generally going to church with him or staying home with you . I dealt with an inkaw tradition pre kids that I'm now a bit stuck with even though I'd rather not have the kids involved in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let them go. Baby stays home with mom. Especially if nursing and has a routine. A 6 mo baby should be in the crib by 7pm for bed anyway, no business being at church.

Neither child at 6 months fell asleep at 7 pm.

Do you drug your children? Share the secrets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Relax OP. Seriously. You're really being upright over something like this? You're going to do a lot of harm to the relationship. All they want to do is show off their beautiful grandbaby. Christmas Eve service is made for families. Nobody cares if the baby fusses and needs to be taken out. And nobody is trying to shove religion down your throat.

Why is everyone focusing on me and not even mentioning that it was my DH who told his parents the baby wouldn't make it through???

You're either Jewish or Muslim, right? I can't think of another Christian being uncomfortable in a church.

[Anonymous]

You are letting DH take the lead with his parents.
That is great.

Is this the first grandchild for your ILs? Most new grandparents seem to forget when babies go to bed, how stressful it is to have a baby at a service when you are not used to it, etc. I breast-fed my baby through a Christmas Eve service, but it meant something for me to be there. I think your idea to come early, let folks see the baby, then hightail it home to get the baby down for bed is a good one.

Pour yourself a glass if something nice while you wait for everyone else to get home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Key words here "have to". DH is not religious, I am not Christian. DH goes to church on Christmas because his parents are very active in it, I went the first few years we were together, but have not gone since (it's so awkward and uncomfortable for me). This year, the in-laws told us that we have to take our DD to church to show her off. DH said "well, maybe we'll bring her before or after the service, she surely won't sit through the whole thing [six months old]" and FIL came back with examples of three different families with young children who will be at the service. DH reiterated that she won't make it through the service (it's at 6pm and a looong service, there's no way my six month old is sitting through it, come on!!) and FIL has not yet relented. I'm not asking for advice, because we're not taking the baby to the service and my in-laws are going to blame it on me, even though DH said it without even talking to me, I just needed to vent. Thanks for listening!!

Obviously, church is important to your DH's parents. Their grandchild is also important to them. It makes sense they'd want to show her off at the church, where they are surrounded by people who matter to them.

What's the big deal? You sound terrible and stubborn. There really is no harm in this.

[Anonymous]

Every time is read a post like the OPs, I am even more thankful for my DILs. Not sure how I got so lucky.

[Anonymous]

Ask them what time is the service over and take the baby there 10 minutes before the end.

[Anonymous]

Why would grandparents be "proud" of a 6 month old and need to "show her off" at church? This isn't baby Jesus.