lost clothes
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Anonymous
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i left a few items at my in-laws during our last visit in the summer. one item was a dress that i wore as a child that my DD loves. MIL knew it was a special dress and I think she might even know it used to be mine. DD also left a beach towel that matches her swimsuit that matches her flip flops (she's 5). She called me while we were in the car to the airport (this is august) and i asked her to please mail the items. She said she'd keep them for us in a drawer in the room we use at her home. I asked, very nicely, if she could please mail them b/c DD needed the towel for swim class and the dress wouldn't fit for much longer. So, its december and no package yet. i have reminded her twice and she says, she will get around to it. Meanwhile, other random things have arrived - presents for DS's birthday, presents for DH's birthday - all packaged and mailed from their home (not shipped from the internet). Now, FIL is coming to visit and bringing toys for Xmas (MIL will come on a later flight and says she doesn't want to carry anything more than a small carry-on)- MIL called and asked what he should bring her and i gave a few suggestions and again asked for the dress and towel to be brought as well. She said, oh yeah.
I feel pretty confident its not coming and it just makes me so sad. It's just special to me that my DD wears the same dress I one wore and I'm SURE that's why MIL is keeping the items. She just doesn't want me to have this little special bond with my own child. Its also a dress that could be worn now with a long-sleeved shirt under it, which is also what's killing me... by the time we go to their place in the spring, DD will almost surely have grown out of it... I also feel a little possessive of the dress because it was sewn for me by my grandmother, so even if DD never wears it again, I do want to keep it. Not sure what more I can say. |
Anonymous
| You need to let this go. Seriously. Yes she's wrong, but you can not control it. |
Anonymous
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Let it go.
You re just being silly. Od dresses don't make a bond with your 5 yr od. |
Anonymous
Let it go. She is being passive aggressive. You could return the favor by never staying at their place and going to a hotel when you visit. But do that after you get you items back. 
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Anonymous
| I can't believe people think you should let it go. She's being a passive agressive twat and why should she be allowed to get away with it!?! Have you told her how very important that dress is and that dd is going to outgrow it if she doesn't wear it over the winter? Have your husband insist as well. If she doesn't bring it with her over Christmas, give her a posted and address box to take back with her and tell her you expect it in the next week. Honestly if she still didn't send it, I would go on vaca as planned, pick up the dress and leave for a hotel for them remaining time. No way should her hatefulness win, or should she get away with it unpunished. |
Anonymous
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She needs to let it go because right or wrong, grandma isn't sending the dress. So you make yourself crazy for what? Next time stay at a hotel, do a better job of searching the house for your stuff before you leave, or skip the visit.
The main area you're overreacting on OP, though, is the idea that she's trying to drive a wedge between you and your daughter over a dress. Seriously, step back and see how odd that sounds. |
Anonymous
| Nuh uh. I'm with OP. This is pure passive aggressiveness from MIL. Has your husband addressed it with her? I'd step up your level of irritation when you speak with her and is come up with some sort of consequences if she doesn't get you that stuff. How obnoxious and rude. |
Anonymous
| Talk directly to FIL and ask him to bring it. He might be more reasonable than MIL. |
Anonymous
OP here - not trying to drive a wedge between us - just trying to deprive me of something I want. DH thinks it's his moms decision to do what she likes with stuff we leave by accident (he likes to please her, so if she said, hypothetically "you don't need the towel because you have others at home and the dress isn't very becoming because it's old" he would say "gee, thanks, mom. You're always thinking of the best for us.". She is bat-s;?& crazy and he turns a blind eye to it all. Would never consent to staying in a hotel. |
Anonymous
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Wow OP you have my sympathies. When are you going back to her house? I'm guessing it's too far away. Is this something FIL could mail to you?
I am a petty person but I'd start to think about what things I could keep from grandma because I forgot to mail them (school pictures, etc). |
Anonymous
| I don't understand why you left them there if they are so important. |
Anonymous
| Next time get your shit together and gather all the stuff you brought then you won't blame MIL for something YOU did. Maybe get hubby to ask her instead of bad mouthing the woman. |
Anonymous
| your grandmother handmade a dress for you that you are sharing with your daughter and your dh thinks its ok for mil to keep it from you? i would be going crazy!! persist persist persist and get that precious dress back!!!! |
Anonymous
This! |
Anonymous
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Hire a courier service. Have the courier service go to the in laws house, pick up the items and mail them to you. I used this when I left stuff at the beach: http://www.barefootmailmoms.com
OR task rabbit if they service her area. Your mil is being an asshat. |