Tell wife of plans for divorce?

[Anonymous]

I would like to divorce my wife. Ideally we would have an amicable divorce as there are young children involved. She wants to get divorced too but doesn't want to take the financial hit.

My guess is that springing a divorce on someone would nix the possibility of it ending amicably. On the other hand I have read that you should not let your spouse konow your plans when planning a divorce.
Anyone with experience in either scenario?

[Anonymous]

Why are you divorcing? Can you try to make things work?

[Anonymous]

Not telling is in cases you suspect your spouse will hide assets away from you.

[Anonymous]

23:09 again.

I think 23:12 is right. the right thing to do is let her know what you are thinking. What if she didn't really mean it? Im sure a lot of people throw the D word around, but then when it comes down to it, they might think again and want to work it out.

[Anonymous]

you probably just want to bang somebody else. i hope not. that's wrong to wreck a home to live in a fantasy/bachelor world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you divorcing? Can you try to make things work?

Oh for Christ sakes. He wants out. Good aged lady

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:you probably just want to bang somebody else. i hope not. that's wrong to wreck a home to live in a fantasy/bachelor world.

OP here. That is not why I want a divorce. Although, have regular sex again would be a bonus from getting divorced.

I think she probably is hiding some savings. But I don't think it is a large enough amount for me to get very upset about.

[Anonymous]

OP- What counseling have you and wife done?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP- What counseling have you and wife done?

They want divorce, not counseling. Don't be so presumptuous.

[Anonymous]

Are you really going to ask for a divorce over the holidays? I would wait till spring. Your wife will get the kids and half of everything you own. She will hire a hot shot lawyer and it is going to cost YOU. Your kids will hate you.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

The sneak attack is more amusing and will give you the upper hand. Start shifting assets before she knows. She may try to do the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The sneak attack is more amusing and will give you the upper hand. Start shifting assets before she knows. She may try to do the same.[/

You sound like a prick. BTW:The IRS will come after you and so will the lawyers if you pull that crap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you really going to ask for a divorce over the holidays? I would wait till spring. Your wife will get the kids and half of everything you own. She will hire a hot shot lawyer and it is going to cost YOU. Your kids will hate you.

Good luck!

She may not get the kids, OP. And she doesn't get half of anything you brought into the mariage -- just the joint assets.

You can get joint physical custody. I know I would insist upon it.

Of course, that may turn your amicable divorce into something more contentious.

[Anonymous]

An amicable divorce requires both parties to work together towards the shared goal.

Your entire premise ("should I tell my wife") undermines that from the very start.

[Anonymous]

You have yet to mention any good reason why you are even getting divorced. This speaks volumes about you OP. Maybe you'd be doing your wife a favor.