Competitive SIL
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Anonymous
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My husbands brother has become engaged to someone who I used to like a lot. Once they got engaged, she got weird. Like everything was a competition.
They recently married and things aren't any better. Examples: she came over and asked me where I got my new, rare sofa. Stupidly, I told her. She went out and got all the same family room furniture I did. Including the lamps, Side table, everything. It is ridiculous. When I got my new car last year, she bought the same one. In the same color. She doesn't even have kids yet she has a minivan like me. EXACT same. When BIL was proposing, he asked dh how big my ring is. DH told him it is 1.5 carats. BIL went out and got a 1.75 carat ring. Then, they bought their marital home. It was a nice home. We upgraded our home a few months later as I was pregnant with our third child. Our new home was much bigger. Not a week later, their house was up for sale. They were barely there a few months. Now, they bought a home that is bigger and better than ours. Exact same honeymoon as us. Seems everything is a competition, I don't want to play. But it is annoying as I feel she has mental problems. |
Anonymous
| Who cares if she copies you? Be flattered. She likes your taste and wants to imitate you. There are bigger issues in life. |
Anonymous
| Married White Female: coming soon to a theater near you! |
Anonymous
So this wouldn't annoy you at all?? Bull |
Anonymous
| You lost me at "rare sofa." |
Anonymous
It's not the style of sofa most people have. |
Anonymous
| I'd put all my furniture, including the "rare" sofa, in storage and rent the ugliest, nastiest furniture. Then when SIL buys the same set, return it and get your furniture out of storage. Muwhaaaaa! |
Anonymous
Not to the point where I would write in a forum about it. |
Anonymous
Yes because it took a whole thirty seconds. |
Anonymous
| You lost me at rare sofa too. |
Anonymous
| She's the one who looks silly, I mean I'm not knocking the minivan (you do what you have to do when you have 3kids) but who drives a mom car without kids? It's screams looser. |
Anonymous
| Doesn't really sound like she is competitive if she is buying the same thing. Maybe she just really likes your style - maybe you have a lot in common. Or she is someone that doesn't have a strong sense of individual style so when she sees something she likes that other people have - she gets it. |
Anonymous
| It is weird, but kind of flattering also. |
Anonymous
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My SIL is exactly this way, and it does drive me bananas. Although in our case it's mostly been clothes, shoes, home decor, and just generally copying my style as closely as possible for years. At some stage early on I got immature about it and started lying about where I go things ("oh this? I don't remember" ... "it was a gift!" .... "I've had it forever, not sure where to find one now?" ... "can you believe I found it at a thrift store?") - I was just so exhausted of her asking where I got something and immediately going out to buy the exact same thing for herself. But over time I've come to feel less annoyed and a bit more "bless her heart" about it. How sad not to know for herself what she likes and be her own person. It can't feel good, and I try to empathize with that.
It is irritating, though, and I disagree with those saying it's flattering - SWF behavior is creepy and (in a small way) it makes me feel a little violated. It sort of feels threatening, too, like she's trying to take me away from me. If that makes any sense. But as corny as it sounds, I realized that she can't take me away from me, she can't be me, and it's just sad that she tries. |
Anonymous
My thought exactly. Sounds psychotic. |